Dates a good thing?

[perseverance_rules]

Well here is the long and windy post from my current situation.

 

link removed

 

 

 

After all that, Ive set up my first date for tonight. We are planning on going to see a band at a local pub. Ive been following these guys for a few years now, so at least I know it will be a good show and a good time regardless how the date turns out. Tomorrow I have plans to spend the day with a different woman I met at a local department store chain in the jewelry department. I was shopping for a new watch and met a very nice woman who was looking to get out of the house and have a good time. Weve talked for the last few weeks but I ve been so busy with other plans Ive had with friends but finally put those aside and made time with her.

 

I dont know what to expect from this except a great time both days...and hopefully good friendships. What ever else comes from it will just happen with time I suppose.

 

Im really worried about being ready to be me, and not talk about the ex or situations. Hopefully I can concentrate on her this weekend. These are two separate women who dont know about each other, but if things go good with one, I will tell the other in time. Hopefully theyll understand which ever way I choose. I think its time for ME to make those decisions, get out there and date and do things the way I choose and not let someone make those decisions for me.

 

Am I doing the right thing by keeping my plans with each woman separate? Is it ok to keep that from them right now? I dont want any problems of me not being honest with them, but really, thats my business since were just friends now right?

 

Hope to have a good weekend however things turn out. Well see, wish me luck on my journey.

[Vert]

perseverance,

Having multiple dates is just fine since you aren't in a committed relationship with either one. Just be careful not to say anything about the other.

[perseverance_rules]

Well I had a great time friday night! I went to the pub where the band was to perform and waited on her to arrive. She arrived and we had a few drinks and talked before the show started. The show was great and we had a blast. We laughed, danced, and really got to know each other.

 

This is where the test happened. At the end of the night, she asked me what now? I answered, "well there are two options,...one we can go crash at my place, or we can go our own separate ways." Well to my astonishment, she chose to follow me home. We arrived at my place, and I showed her around (mind you I was a bit tipsy) and she eventually snuggled up in my bed. I closed up everything and hesitantly slid into the bed myself. We talked for a bit, and we fooled around for a few moments, and thats when I thought to myself, you know what, this isnt the right time. I could tell she was holding out a bit, and I let it be...I told her I respected that, and we snuggled up together and slept the night off.

 

In the morning we woke, and looked at each other like, wow, that hasnt happened for along time for either of us. Felt very nice, even though not much happened.

 

We hugged each other, and she left for work. I have spoken to her since, and we have made plans to go out again some time. I think the repsect was mutual.

 

I dont truly see myself being with her for a long relationship, which is why i didnt try to have sex with her on our first date, let alone that ever thought of sex on the first date. had a double meaning for me that night. She has 3 kids of her own, and im not sure if she wants more, but I would love to start my own family in the near future. Shes a very nice woman who is 3 years older than me, and i dont want to slow her process of finding a man to marry one day, and waste her time. Right now her thoughts of us are just friends, but I can tell she wants more from me perhaps. She loves the fact that I have a great job, make good money, and have been strong through several bad break ups. She knows Im just getting over someone, and knows I am not a pushover, which is what I think makes her want me that much more.

 

I have plans to go out with her again soon, but when do I make it known that this may not go any further? That she is a great woman, but I dont see myself with her since she may not want kids, and may get caught up with me?

 

She had just broken it off with a guy recently that told her the same thing, and I dont want that to happen again. If we have sex, should I tell her beforehand that it may not be what she wants in the end? Or to keep it as just that, sex? This may be wrong on some levels, but everyone has lusty relationships now and again, not sure if she would be out for this. Shes attractive, witty, and truly a good person, but right now, im not sure if shes the one for me because of what she has in her life already. Is that a little bit selfish of me?

 

I want the friendship from her, I would love to go out with her, but in the end the relationship may not unravel like she wants it to, or me.

 

What should I do?