There’s this girl I like and I… oh, what’s the use.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I have noticed this girl at my job for the past month or so. I would be lying to you all if I said I didn't have a crush on her when in fact I do. She and I work in different departments in the building. I see her once a week for about 10 seconds on Thursdays when I drop off my timesheet to her. Sometimes we take the same bus home, but we never speak. She seems like such a sweet and down to earth kind of gal. I was initially going to post a thread, you know your typical "I like such and such girl and would like to get to know her better and perhaps ask her out for coffee, what should I do" kind of thread. But then reality set it. No matter how much advice I get, no matter what I do to try and muster up the courage to talk to a female I like, the bottom line is I don't have a shot. Not with her. Not with any girl.

 

Everyone in here except for skeptics like myself, preach confidence. I have confidence that I can make a woman feel special, like she's the only person on this Earth who has captured my heart. I know I can make her dreams come true. But we skeptics of confidence all know that looks are a factor, bigger than what most of you want to admit. I know I don't have to be a supermodel, but I have to at least be attractive to her. Before I went downstairs to deliver my timesheet to her, I examined myself in the mirror and wondered if I could ever be attractive to her. What if I bulked up and got some of those muscles with the veins popping out, would she find me attractive? What if I changed my style from conservative/plain to outrageous and outgoing, would she find me attractive? I've done both of these things, changed my style and gotten some physical development, but still the same ugly face. Some guys have it and some guys don't. I just wish I weren't so darn shy and so darn chicken. I really thought my sense of humor would get my foot in the door, but I've been let down far to many times to believe in that malarkey ever again. I've seen so many girls attracted to guys, and they laugh at everything he says, so he has the onyl weapon that I have, and it's more potent, too.

 

For those of you who have this mythical confidence that has brought women at your doorstep, how did you get it? Do you believe in your looks? Your personality? Your status? I have confidence once I get the girl. But I just don't have the confidence to get the girl. I don't even know why I submitted this thread. I guess it's for those guys like me who see that girl from afar and want to talk to them, but feel so unsure of their appearance that they just hold their secret crush in. I don't want her to be another secret crush, but I can feel it in my heart and soul that it's best for me to keep it inside and not freak her out.

[seth.seven]

Hey listen: you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try. Don't live a life in quiet desparation. Life is full of regrets - the worst is to regret what you didn't do. As far as good looking enough etc - hey, beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway, none of that BS matters.

Think of it this way, the worst you can happen is she rejects you - is that any worse then the misery you are putting yourself through - unless of course you would rather live with a good fantasy then a crappy reality.

 

(actually the worst that can happen is that she laughs at you, tells everyone and posts it on the internet - unlikely though right?) Just ask her for a coffee or something - something light. Keep it upbeat and smile.

 

Hold your head high and go for it!

[Alabama]

Listen. There is no magic pill to take to get confidence to ask a girl you like out. But there are ways to improve yourself. So, what if your not attractive like that guy who girls think is a hunk? Nobodies perfect. What I suggest, is believe your conident and you will be. There is nothing set in stone that every girl will think your ugly. As long as you try, isn't that enough?

[JustAHuman]

Everything is ion your mind, what I mean is that when you really believe you are able to do something, when you believe in yourself, then you'll do it. Your limits are defined by the agreement you've made about what's possible. Change that agreement and you can disolve all limits.

 

Change that attitude

[jna35]

I totally agree with seth!! Don't sell yourself short. You really can do it, but you have to stop telling yourself that you can't! Good luck!

[JRM]

Think of it this way: If you stay hopeless and don't try, you WILL NOT get her or ever dream of having a chance.

 

If you at least try, then you have a chance, and you might actually succeed.

 

Besides, even if you do try any it doesn't work, it isn't a big deal, and noone is going to care. They have they're own insecurities to worry about.

[DarknHandsome]

Listen. There is no magic pill to take to get confidence to ask a girl you like out.

 

actually its in liquid form and they serve it in shot glasses 4-6 shots of whiskey aught to take the edge off

[LIFE]

Let me tell you something about people. We people in general are more attracted to personality rather than physical looks. Girls are like that, and some guys are like that as well. All you have to do is strike up a convo with her, the next time you take the bus with her, ask her about her work and how you see her every Thursday. You think she will worry about your looks when you start talking to her? No...she will be thinking about your personality and you as a person rather than what you look like.

[mjctraider]

I certainly know how Kyoshiro Ogari feels. I myself have been in the same position many many times. I've never had a gf never been kissed and I've been on a handful of dates that never lead to a second. Most girls I find attractive don't find me attractive and the ones that find me attractive I don't find attractive. It seems to be only once every 2 years or so that I meet a girl that I find attractive and she finds me attractive. Sadly for some unknown reasons that seem beyond my control nothing ever happens.

 

There is this one girl at work that I have a had a crush on for about 2 years now. I've never talked to her and she's never talked to be. She's no model or supermodel, but in my eyes she is a goddess and in one word perfect. However I can sense that our personalities do not match don't ask why just a sixth sense and I know things would not work out between us. We are jsut to different. I jsut cannot and will never get over my crush with her she is just so beautiful and perfect I my eyes.

 

The longest crush I have had to date is about 15 years with two different girls. One is now married and I do not know about the other one. I am coming to a point in my life where I want to make changes. I have tried to make contact with 20 to 30 women in the last 6 months and have been rejected by all of them. It sucks and hurts, but I move on and say to myself, "It is there loss." Now I have an option before a subscription expireds on classmates to contact this other girlt aht I have had a crush on since 1990 and haven't seen since 1993.

 

I tried contacting another girl that I had a crush on me and I kinda liked her a few months ago, but have heard nothing. I did this because I wanted to know if there was any possiblity we might click. since I have not heard from her I am to assume to close that chapter in my life. And now before I close another chapter I will try and make contact with this girl that I last saw in 1993. If I don't hear back from her or I do and she tells me she is taken then it was never meant to be and I can close that chapter and move on.

 

The point I am trying to make with all this drivel is that I am tired of being single. It hurts like hell sometimes and I'm sick of it. I will keep looking for the one that is meant for me, even if that means moving elsewhere. I've gotten to the point where I have exhausted all options and to the point where this is one goal that I have, no I must complete before I die of old age. Even if it means that I have one girlfriend before I die and that is it then so be it. I find myself ugly, but there are times, very far and few between where myself and the girl both find each other attractive and I am deteremined to find her even if it kills me. Don't give up hope. I want to, but there is a very very small piece of hope left inside of me and I know I will find her and cherise her forever.

[LIFE]

^^^Either you're doing something wrong or you're exaggerating.

 

20 to 30 girls and all of them dislikes you?? You MUST be doing something wrong. Are these girls you know well or just people that you run into once in a while??

[mjctraider]

^^^Either you're doing something wrong or you're exaggerating.

 

20 to 30 girls and all of them dislikes you?? You MUST be doing something wrong. Are these girls you know well or just people that you run into once in a while??

 

 

I am not exaggerating. These were women from a few different online dating services were it was considered a match and no one seemed interested. Anbd it wasn't like the real hot girls. It was average looking women, average sixed women, women who had kids, etc and even some women who might be considered below average looking. It seems that maybe I was too slender and too short for them and they wanted someone taller and someone with more meat on their bones. And you'll probably say well just eat more and lift weights. I've tried that and nothing works I average 3000 to 5000 calories a day and I gain nothing. I have the metabolism of a humming bird, lol. So I am not exaggerating.

[ShySoul]

mjctraider,

 

This was an online dating site? Because its online, many view it more as a fantasy and thus they can get picky. The think that they will get messages from all kinds of guys so they can be choosy over minor unimportant things. Many probably aren't even serious about meeting someone at all, and are just doing it for fun. Don't worry about them, there the ones with the problem, not you.

 

Kyo,

 

First problem is that your assuming things will go bad before you ever give it a try. If you believe things will go bad, they will. You say that you have confidence that you can treat a girl right, make her feel special. Well stop telling us and start showing her. When you see her, do something nice for her like opening a door for her. That shows right off that you are respectful and kind. Talk to her and just get to know her. If you just tell yourself that you are a good person and that everything will work out, your natural confidence and personality will shine.

 

And when in doubt, just remember that your "cool" and that anyone who doesn't go out with you are losing out. Be a peep like me and borrow some of that charm from Captain Charisma.

[MetallicAguy]

I know I don't have to be a supermodel, but I have to at least be attractive to her.

That's kind of true there, whether you like it or not you have to be attractive physically and mentally. But then there's some girls out there who don't care what you look like as long as you didn't come out from under a rock. you haven't even talked to this girl yet how do you know she isn't superficial and only dates guys with bulging muscles like the Govenator? .

 

 

but still the same ugly face

 

Yeah I feel your pain man, I have acne (not the mild stuff that goes away by using proactive for 3 months) and what really works for me is using a day/night anti-biotic and applying 3% benzoyl peroxide day and night. Oh yeah sorry, just noticed I went off-topic lol.

 

 

 

 

I just wish I weren't so darn shy and so darn chicken

Wishing isn't going to do jack **** man. You have to do it. It isn't bad, plus once you get the balls to talk to her anyhow you will feel so much better about yourself, A LOT less negativity!

 

 

For those of you who have this mythical confidence that has brought women at your doorstep, how did you get it?

Not getting any success whatsoever at first and doing something about it, not having a pity party and going back into the slump of depression. Basically trying to figure out how women think, body language, etc. Though I'll probably never figure out how women think entirely in my lifetime lol.

 

Do you believe in your looks? Your personality? Your status?

 

Yeah, I believe in my looks, I'm not like a showoff like some guys who are actually hella ugly and think there hot ****. I believe in my personality, I like my personality actually because I can make friends rather quickly for some unknown reason.

 

 

I don't want her to be another secret crush, but I can feel it in my heart and soul that it's best for me to keep it inside and not freak her out.

THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Believe me, waiting for a girl to come to you ain't going to happen. You have to do something about this crap man your 32 haven't had a date, don't you think today is the right day to make a stand and end this **** for life? You don't want to keep it in, I think if she catches you looking at her and stuff and gettin' all fidgety it's just going to freak her out more. Oh yeah don't decide to compliment her on her looks (which I don't think I'd ever do unless she actually showed interest) I've been told by some girls that when a guy does that they don't know what to say and want to get the hell outta unless they're actually kinda interested in what the guys all about.

 

 

Ok KO, next time you get to see the girl you NEED to talk to her. Trust me, it will be a great thing on your self-esteem levels which sound really low right now. If not talk to her, at LEAST smile at her and hold eye contact. If you want to go out with her and not be lonely for the rest of your life, do it. If she makes like a weird/disgusted face, not interested you have to get over her and move on. If she smiles back and it isn't one of those "stiff business" smiles as I call them then you could assume you have a chance, don't let yourself think the negative thoughts like "Man, she'd never be into you, she's too good for you". Think of it in a positive way like you have a chance, let those thoughts get to you you just sit there and let life...happen and you feel like **** 24/7 because you missed out on a chance.

 

So if you don't want to smile, and take a step ahead, next time you see her on Thursday and you could ask her out for coffee, like "I've noticed you around work and I was just interested if you wanted to go out for coffee sometime this week if your not busy" if she says she's busy or something has other plans, don't push it, if she says she could make plans for another day then that's a good thing. If she doesn't well then I guess you can forget about it, she isn't interested .

[Miss M]

KO, would you like a woman's opinion? Reading your original post is like watching a guy shoot himself in the foot. You're defeating yourself with your attitude. (And you're probably not going to believe this either because you seem very stuck on seeing yourself negatively and as a defeated person.) Or are you cultivating a hobby where you start threads that say, "Hey, Look at me, I'm a loser," ? Is that how you get your kicks now? What's the point of that?

 

I was writing in another thread that I get hit on a lot. But I get hit on by lots of jerks and abusers. So now I've got a theory. Maybe you shy guys who don't approach women (or look away when we look at you) do that because you're sure you will be rejected? If so, in essense you're just moving over to make room for another jerk to approach us, to disrespect us, to lie to us, to exploit us.

 

Almost every guy I've ever dated was physically unattractive. I might notice and look at an attractive guy, but most of them aren't appealing to me because I'm just not that interested in the outer covering. Have you ever seen mis-matched couples while people wondered, how did he get her? The ugliest guy in my life was my ex-husband. It was his very caring and warm personality that attracted me. We're divorced now, but that's still his most appealing quality and I still love that about him, and women still flock around him because of it. Years after we divorced he said part of his problem was he couldn't figure out why someone who looked like me would want to stay with someone who looked like him. IOW he was also like you, so convinced that he didn't deserve me, that he ruined the marriage with his low self-esteem.

 

Like I said, I've dated a lot of physically unattractive men, and from your posts you seem to have some really nice qualities, but I would not go near a guy like you because someone with your attitude would also certainly ruin a relationship. No woman wants to be with a man who is so full of self-disgust. No woman wants the huge and responsibility and endless task of making a man feel worthy and self-confident when he's in a long-time persistent habit of beating himself up.

 

I'd advise that you stop making women responsible for how you feel. Stop making the lack of female companionship your excuse for not seeing yourself as worthy. Stop blaming those women who give their attention to attractive guys. They are not your problem, and would not be your solution even if you could have them. You are the one making yourself feel the way you do with your distorted thoughts. And that self-deprecating attitude is a huge turnoff and huge detriment towards getting a woman. And even though I'm considered attractive, I don't want a guy who wants to be with me because I'm attractive, and I turn those types away all the time. You seem like the kind of guy who wants to be with an attractive woman because she's attractive, and that's so very unappealing. Some attractive women just want a guy who will look past her outside covering to what's inside and care about that on a deep level. Can you do that? You criticize the women who are drawn to attractive guys, but you're doing the exact same thing, just in reverse.

 

4:00 - Wallow in self pity

Another huge, huge turn-off. Stop wallowing like that. And If you can't stop, at least stop blaming the absense of women for your misery, cause the perfect woman still will not have enough power to fix that. Only YOU can do that.

[ShySoul]

Kyo,

 

Miss M gave it to you straight. Listen to her and take it to heart. We want to help you, but the only person who can fix this is you. Right now you (and everyone else who regularly posts about how alone they are) are caught in a cycle. You've convinced yourself that you don't deserve anyone and that sabotages any chance you might have with someone. You feel this way, in part, because of lack of experience. But the attitude prevents the possiblity of new experiences now. That lack of success now then turns around and gives you more reason to feel depressed with yourself. And the cycle repeats.

 

The only way out of this is for you to change your attitude. Stop putting all the focus on finding a women. Stop wallowing. It's small, but change that sig to something more uplifting. Right now everytime you post you look at it and remind yourself of how bad you feel. That doesn't help. You need to get away from the things that make you feel bad, and focus on what makes you feel good. I'd even suggest taking a vacation from this site (as much as you'll be missed). Coming here surrounds you with people who also wallow in their sorrows. While its nice to know we are not alone in our pain, constantly surrounding ourselves with it doesn't help us improve ourselves or make our situation better. So find some other activity you enjoy and start doing it. The only thing holding you back is the defeatist attitude, once you get rid of that I wouldn't be surprised if you had to start turning down dates cause your calendar is full.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I will respond to the recent posts later on when I have more time, but I wanted to respond to this paragraph by Miss M. (who gave excellent advice and pointers as well as everyone else, thanks!) See, I am not blaming women for how I feel, even though my words may seem to reflect that. I am just upset when I hear that looks is not important. But I blame myself for not being attractive enough to be in the game. I don't blame women for being attracted to hunks. I blame myself for not being a hunk. If I blamed them, then I would be a hypocrite when most of my crushes are based on attraction, there's no denying that. But the long lasting ones are with those who I get to know, who have those qualities I look for in a woman: kindness, sense of humor and honesty.The longest lasting crush I ever had are with women who my friends always say, "what do you see in her?" My friends tell me I have funny tastes in women but oh well, that's just me. See, guys in general are worse than women when it comes to physical attraction. We initially chase the shortest skirt, the biggest boobs, the longest legs and the poutiest lips way more than women chase the biggest pecs, the largest biceps or the biggest dingaling. I do this just like any guy or gal at first, but when I get to know someone and I click with them, I'm in heaven. It's just that for me, I've clicked with so many women, and a lot of them compliment me on my personality, but their boyfriends are absolutely gorgeous. Perhaps I've had a looooong string of bad luck, but I am going by my experience since Junior High School: Every girl I've been interested in, every single one since JHS has had a hunk of a boyfriend. I cannot compare to them physically. I also cannot see them choosing Mr. Wonderful Personality over Hunk With Tolerable Personality. That's what I'm going by, my life story, sorry.

[koolaidnovel]

Maybe this girl is not superficial, and will not judge you by your looks. I think you need to get past the fact that EVERYONE will either accept or reject someone depending on their looks. What you need to do is get your personality out there...which I'm sure is fantastic...and MAKE people see past your looks. (By the way, your "ugliness" could be all in your head...)

 

Good luck. I really hope you get inspired eventually, because there is someone special out there for you.

 

Think of it this way: Put yourself out there to the girl. If she rejects you, fine. She's missing out, you understand, and you move on and never have to regret that you never did anything about your crush. OR...if the girl seems to like you...etc. You get it.

[suprema99]

Hey kyoshiro, I remember one time I read something from you about this girl you like on the bus. The longer you wait and build her up in fantasy land, that is your own head, if she says no, after you ask her, your gonna be more hurt. The sooner you ask her, the better. It's better to be rejected by a girl you have no real feelings for, than to get to know her and then make a move and be rejected. You have to make a move if you like her. You have to watch out for yourself first and stop catering to other woman that you don't even really know. If you thought like this, you would of asked her already. Your feelings have to come first. The more time you spend debating about this girl, she might get a boyfriend most likely in the meantime .Get your foot in the door at least with her now, and then go from there. She might actually like you. How will you ever know though if you keep downgrading yourself and saying it automatically can't happen. Your analizing is beating you up. Everybody has what you have in their head, it's common. But I think your just focusing on that one aspect of it way too much. Try to focus on asking her out first- Goodluck

[Miss M]

It's small, but change that sig to something more uplifting. Right now everytime you post you look at it and remind yourself of how bad you feel.

I was thinking the exact same thing and just wanted to pull this little point out for reiteration. Changing that sig is definitely also what I'd recommend.

 

I will respond to the recent posts later on when I have more time, but I wanted to respond to this paragraph by Miss M. (who gave excellent advice and pointers as well as everyone else, thanks!) See, I am not blaming women for how I feel, even though my words may seem to reflect that. I am just upset when I hear that looks is not important. But I blame myself for not being attractive enough to be in the game.

And while we await your return, I'll make a few comments on what you've already written. The only one who ejected you from the game is you. But some caring and lonely woman whose heart is yearning for love is being neglected right now because you've opted out and is sitting on the sidelines, on the bench.

 

I don't blame women for being attracted to hunks. I blame myself for not being a hunk. If I blamed them, then I would be a hypocrite when most of my crushes are based on attraction,

This may be difficult for you to understand, but I already think you're a hypocrite. Or at least you're self-deceiving. You've obviously got plenty to offer, and there are plenty of women who would welcome it, but you're withholding and trying to justify that by saying, "nobody will have me." That's a load of crap. (That's not a banned word, is it? O )

 

I do this just like any guy or gal at first, but when I get to know someone and I click with them, I'm in heaven. It's just that for me, I've clicked with so many women,

Well now, this is such an interesting statement from you. It's so very interesting that I think I'd like a few repeats of it...

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

I've clicked with so many women,

Ahhh... nice contrast to the other... so now we'll continue...

I've clicked with so many women, and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

Oh, Oh my, here's yet another sweet little gem ...

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality,

Aaahhhh... nice. \ \ \

 

Okay, now I think I'm ready to let you get to where you were headed...

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality, but their boyfriends are absolutely gorgeous.

Okay, I've said I've had mostly unattractive guys. But I had one drop-dead gorgeous yum-yum hunk who was also super fantastic in bed. But you know, neither of those things was enough to overcome his rotten attitude which got steadily worse over time. After 9 months I dumped him in a huff without looking back, and I didn't even have an alternative to take his place... nobody to "click" with like you've described. IOW I preferred being alone to being with him. Saying this to say that girl with that guy might not be as impressed with his looks as you might think. Sometimes the grass really ain't that much greener on the other side. For some of us, winning personalities easily win hands down over good looks.

 

Perhaps I've had a looooong string of bad luck, but I am going by my experience since Junior High School: Every girl I've been interested in, every single one since JHS has had a hunk of a boyfriend. I cannot compare to them physically. I also cannot see them choosing Mr. Wonderful Personality over Hunk With Tolerable Personality. That's what I'm going by, my life story, sorry.

Actually some girls do have a thing for gorgeous guys. I don't understand it, but they do go that route over and over. But there are many more who couldn't care less about that. And it still sounds like you're just using that as an excuse to sit on the bench. I'm not buying what you're selling here. But when you return, you can try again to tell me what an ogre you are. I'm kinda interested in seeing how long you keep going with this wallowing gig. Well, at least you also included some truths this time.

 

But then again, you're still trying to convince me by bringing in all the hard evidence from JHS? I'm really not the least impressed with that bit.

[LIFE]

I'm sure you have said something to her now right????

[MetallicAguy]

I haven't really gotten completely rid of my shyness, after reading this quote Miss M...it's motivating

 

Maybe you shy guys who don't approach women (or look away when we look at you) do that because you're sure you will be rejected? If so, in essense you're just moving over to make room for another jerk to approach us, to disrespect us, to lie to us, to exploit us.

 

Well usually when I do that it's usually because I doubt that'd I'd be able to go out with the girl, or if I'm not interested in the girl I'd look away fast and all, but the difference is I'd have a weird look on my face.

 

But pretty much your theory is correct.

[asdf]

Kyoshiro, I enjoyed reading your post, you're a good writer.

 

The whole confidence thing is quite simple, but it takes practice. Do things in small steps, like if you're extremely shy, just start out by smiling a little and saying hi to a stranger walking past on the street. Chances are, if they aren't in a bad mood, they'll smile and say hi back. Take it up in little steps until you can easily have a conversation with a woman you just met.

 

Another thing you'll have to realise is that you can't measure yourself in terms of what other people think about you. Real confidence is something you give to yourself, not something you want to get out of other people.

 

The way you speak and move and your posture all reflect how confident you are. Physical displays will be sitting or standing with a straight back. Head not tilted down. Unafraid to make eye contact. Shoulders broad, and your body generally pointing outwards. Movents aren't rushed, and aren't hesitant either. Probably a little swagger in your walk. When speaking, your voice will be steady and won't waver or break. You will usually smile.

 

Another thing you can do to help you is practice in front of a mirror like you're acting as a confident person. Try displaying all those characteristics. You can watch movies and see the body language of all the confident people. Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt have it mastered.

 

When you wake up, smile, and feel happy. It usually sets the mood for the rest of the day.

 

There's no magical fix to cure shyness, but confidence can be gained, and it's not really that hard if you take it one small step at a time. You just have to be willing to do it.

[Miss M]

I haven't really gotten completely rid of my shyness, after reading this quote Miss M...it's motivating

 

Maybe you shy guys who don't approach women (or look away when we look at you) do that because you're sure you will be rejected? If so, in essense you're just moving over to make room for another jerk to approach us, to disrespect us, to lie to us, to exploit us.

 

Well usually when I do that it's usually because I doubt that'd I'd be able to go out with the girl, or if I'm not interested in the girl I'd look away fast and all, but the difference is I'd have a weird look on my face.

 

But pretty much your theory is correct.

Thanks for the feedback. (And I'm really glad you're motivated.

Sometimes it is so clear, a guy is talking to a girl and she's looking like she wish he would just go away. Have you ever noticed that? I get a lot of attention from the kinds of men who are bold and disrespectful. Sometimes I really wondered if there are any nice guys left on the planet. The jerks certainly are not shy at all.

 

Then it occurred to me that maybe some of the ones who are looking away when I look at them are really just shy. I thought they were married or something, but what if they're just shy? Wouldn't it be much nicer if the girl had the attention of a kind gentleman instead of a jerk? Even when I was a teenager I was a sucker for the kindly young gentlemen.

[ShySoul]

I've clicked with so many women,

 

and a lot of them compliment me on my personality

 

I'm jumping on the bandwagon. Kyo, you've clearly impressed women in your life, you've impressed them on here and in real life. I get the feeling that girls would be going crazy over you and lining up for a date if only you would start believing it can happen.

 

Wouldn't it be much nicer if the girl had the attention of a kind gentleman instead of a jerk? Even when I was a teenager I was a sucker for the kindly young gentlemen.

 

Guys should really listen to that. It's true and it works.

 

But then you run into a girl whose perfect, and she likes you. She likes that your a gentleman. But because she is so used to the jerks she doesn't know what to make of you, afraid that you'll turn out like all the rest, and be too afraid to commit.

 

Alright, I'm cheering for you Kyo. Show them what you've got.

[Miss M]

But then you run into a girl whose perfect, and she likes you. She likes that your a gentleman. But because she is so used to the jerks she doesn't know what to make of you, afraid that you'll turn out like all the rest, and be too afraid to commit.

This is another good point. You might just consider her state of mind is like battle fatigue. There's no way around it when that's what she's been exposed to for prolonged periods. All the more reason to quit procrastinating, yes? The longer you wait, the more crap she has to endure. And I guess one of the perks of being a gentleman these days is that you have to (get to?) rescue damsels in distress, and then gently help them come out of that trauma of abuse.