I can't focus on my social life anymore...

[lillady898]

I'm really scared to put effort into my relationships with people. I don't want to start anything new with anything, and I don't want to get too close to anyone.

 

I don't know where I'm going to be living within the next month. Things have been going on and big changes will be made in my life. I may end up in an apartment all alone, back at home with my parents, in my parents new home 4 hours away if they decide to move, with my brother 8 hours away, or at a university 10 hours away.

 

I also don't know what I will be doing next month. I may have to take a couple semesters off of school, and/or I may have to leave work.

 

For the most part I am okay with not knowing what will be happening... Except for the fact that my relationships are really suffering. I can't seem to get close to anyone and I can't get motivated to be around people. When I do make an attempt to go out with people, my mind wanders and I can't focus. My relationships have become so superficial because I just don't want to get into anything too deep or emotional (even in friendships)- Especially if I'll be leaving permanently.

 

I really don't know what to tell my friends anymore. They don't understand why I can't focus on the moment. I really try to make myself, but it just doesn't work.

 

Does anyone have any input or advice?

[darkblue]

I think you should just have the friends for the time that you have them.

 

You don't really have to get into deep and meaningful friendships to have friends.

 

They can be for socialising and socialising only.

 

But when you do settle down; find a few people that you can [if you choose to do so] open up to.

[may55]

Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety. Maybe you should try to understand why you are feeling so scared and so socially withdrawn?

 

Moving and not knowing where you live is probably going to be something that may happen throughout your life. You can change jobs, meet someone, get married, etc. Uncertainty is a state that we all are in at various stages and aspects in our lives. Friendships can endure change, especially ones where both people make an effort to stay in touch. I think you can keep friends even if you move far away.

 

Try to be excited for the change and unknown opportunities that await you in the next few months and try to let go and go with the flow a bit.

 

Good luck! Sounds like you are in a tough spot.