My NC diary: update.

[regret1]

As you know my relationship was a one-way love for two years. He absolutly adored me, I took him for granted. For the last 6 months i have fought for his love. But it does not work. He has a new girlfriend, who treats him like a king. I blame myself, thereforeeee, I became he doormat. But not anymore.

 

Thus, I will keep updating about my NC. Because when I ignore him, he calls me like crazy. Since our last meeting two weeks ago, I have maintained NC.

 

Week 1: He called me 9 times, 1 txt mess, and one call at 1:00 in the morning.

 

What did I do? I ignored him.

 

Again, he called me on his birthday. I did not email, txt, letter, nothing on his birthday.

 

Week 2: two days ago (Monday July25, 2005) he called me 5 times, and 1 txt message.

 

What did I do? I ignored him.

 

 

My point is this, if your ex does contact you. It does not mean they want to get back. Thus, why do you want to set yourself in misery and depression. They dumped you, they have controll. If they truly love you they will come back. It is hard, I know. I am still sad, but what can I do. Move on. Do not pick up the phone.

[Tigris]

I hope other people find your solution works for them.

 

Take care.

[lunatic]

well I say your doing great. Keep up the NC and stay strong.

 

 

Good luck!

[regret1]

Clap, clap, clap, hahaha.

 

He called me three times today (July 27, 2005, Wednesday ), and one time using a work number hoping I don't know it is him, so I will pick up. But I know where he works, thereforeeee, I confirmed the odd number.

 

He left me a messages begging me to call him back, "please pick up the phone, I really need to ask you a question. Please give me a call. Please."

 

What did I do: I ignored him.

 

He is a very successful guy. He has many beautiful cars, girls, money and status. However, he will lack me. He will be UNFULLFILLED without me. He can only dream and think about me. He could never see, or hear from me again.

 

People stay strong. Tell yourself, you deserve the very best...you are the grand prize. You are not second class citizen, you are the jackpot.

[HajiMaji]

I dont understand! Youve been trying to win him back and now all of a sudden you wont answer the phone. If this dude loved you for 2 years while you took him for granite he must still have some sort of connection to you.

 

I dont understand the situation, but you seem like you are enjoying the fact he keeps calling you too much.

[regret1]

HahiMaji:

 

I dont understand! Youve been trying to win him back and now all of a sudden you wont answer the phone. If this dude loved you for 2 years while you took him for granite he must still have some sort of connection to you.

 

I dont understand the situation, but you seem like you are enjoying the fact he keeps calling you too much.

 

Yes, indeed, I am enjoying it. I am healing and moving on. I still love him, however, he has major character flaws in a man for his age. Why should I talk to him...we have no obligation for each other.

 

My situation:

link removed

[regret1]

Again he is calling me...at 4:00PM until 10:00pm--a grand total of 3 times. Now he is begging to see me. He left me 2 more messages begging to see me. Thus, for today he is calling me 7 times with 3 messages.

 

What did I do: I ignored him.I am going to stay strong, and move on.

 

NC RULES!!!!!!!!

[melrich]

What are you going to do when he stops calling?

[regret1]

melrich:

 

What are you going to do when he stops calling?

 

Nothing...what is there to do. I have moved on, and I am determine to have a life that is without him. I don't feel like playing anymore games. He has made his bed, now he has to lay in it. I am not like most people. I have total control when I do not see him...I am oh so strong. However, when I see him, I cannot control myself. I always go back to square one: depression, misery, loneliness.

 

Oh he just called again...leaving me a message, "please let me see you."

 

Ok, back to business. He has a girlfriend. Am I suppose to be the "other woman." He#l no. Sorry for profanity. I will never let myself fall into that category.

[melrich]

Nothing...what is there to do. I have moved on, and I am determine to have a life that is without him

 

That is fantastic. Then maybe to even further cement your having gotten over him you should stop scoring and celebrating the number of times he tries to make contact.

 

I really don't mean that in a sarcastic way, it just seems such a strange way to focus any energy whatsoever, especially if you have moved on.

[regret1]

melrich,

 

I have relapse. I am human...I love him...I miss him dearly. I moved on is just a disguise just hide my true feelings. I have a battle not to call him too. I just know what the best for myself. The best for me is NC. It does make my life a lot better.

 

Alright, let me ask you a question. What is the point of him calling me for? He has a girlfriend, thereforeeee, he is stringing me a long, right?

 

This is for myself. Yes, I love him. However, he is way too unstable.

[melrich]

Alright, let me ask you a question. What is the point of him calling me for? He has a girlfriend, thereforeeee, he is stringing me a long, right?

 

He shouldn't be calling and obviously he knows you don't want to speak to him because you are not answering.

 

The reason he keeps calling is because that has now become his metaphor for a relationship with you. It does not amtter that you do not answer, the calls mean for him that you are still a part of his life. And at the moment they mean for you that he is still a part of yours.

 

And I bet that somewhere in the back of your mind there is hatching itself the plan to one day pick up. After you think he has suffered enough frustration to one day pick up and give it to him.

 

You do sound like a very strong person. If it were me I'd change my phone numbers. I'd take away his power and your temptation.

[saltwatergirl]

I dont understand what you are doing.

 

I have found myself not answering calls before, but that is mostly when I am crying and all, or know I will be, and dont want to be doing that on the phone with him. But to sit there and take great joy in how many times he has called and youve ignored him? Sounds very silly to me. NC with someone you love is HARD, not laughable material. You make no sense.

 

If you really did not want any further contact you would simply answer the phone and tell him that point blank. Do what you say, say what you mean. Its called honesty. I dont know how you can sit there and laugh at the fact that he is trying to contact you. Sounds to me like you are getting some big ego boost out of his phone calls, and it's childish.

 

I had an ex once who did some bad things, and I broke it off and walked away. He called me, alot. I did not answer the calls. But not once did I laugh at it. I actually got sad because I knew it was over, and I wished he hadn't done what he did to cause that. I cried like heck listening to the answering machine, too. It was anything BUT humorous to me.

 

Salt

[regret1]

And I bet that somewhere in the back of your mind there is hatching itself the plan to one day pick up. After you think he has suffered enough frustration to one day pick up and give it to him.

 

You hit the nail just right...subsconsiously, I want us back together. I am becoming stronger each day by him not being part of his life and that I am strong without him. I will forget about him. He knows this. thereforeeee, he is annoying me. He is very persistent. Trust me, if I cave in, I will be very depressed. It is extremely suicidal. I don't want to go through that road again. I still can feel it when I think about it.

[melrich]

Can I PM you?

[regret1]

sure

[regret1]

Well, it has been four days from the last time he has called. I am missing him so much now. I feel so much pain inside my heart. However, I have to be strong and maintain NC. He might not ever call again...Oh well. I have to move-on. There is no point of being friends. When couples get into a relationship, there is a risk. Every thing in life is a risk.

[regret1]

Geez, I am missing him sooooo much right now. I still do not understand. Why do love hurt? It is just a person that is not in your life. There are millions of people in this world. How can one person make you sad? I always wonder this question.

[regret1]

It has been 1 week and 1 day since the last time he called. Is that too long on his behalf, huh? I need to stay strong. Keep it going, for me. I need to stay strong. I have to move on. There is no point of contacting since he is in a relationship. He is way too immature and too unstable.

[Urlacher]

Wow. Thanks for confirming yet again why I do not understand women. You said he adored YOU and YOU took him for granted. Then you are the one saying he is unstable, etc? Now you are getting joy out of the fact that you know he probably still loves you and wants to contact you. To me it sounds like you are angry at him and the only way to make yourself feel better is to possibly frustrate him or make him mad.

 

I believe this is similar to what my ex is doing to me, but she is the one who broke up with me. I think she tries to frustrate me and think of every little fault in me (half of which are flat out lies) to make herself angry at me and justify her dumping me.

 

Ugh! WOMEN!!!!!

[regret1]

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject:

 

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Urlacher wrote

Wow. Thanks for confirming yet again why I do not understand women. You said he adored YOU and YOU took him for granted. Then you are the one saying he is unstable, etc? Now you are getting joy out of the fact that you know he probably still loves you and wants to contact you. To me it sounds like you are angry at him and the only way to make yourself feel better is to possibly frustrate him or make him mad.

 

I believe this is similar to what my ex is doing to me, but she is the one who broke up with me. I think she tries to frustrate me and think of every little fault in me (half of which are flat out lies) to make herself angry at me and justify her dumping me.

 

Ugh! WOMEN!!!!!

 

You should read my earlier post how it got to this point. I have chased him for 5 months. He goes to his girlfriend, at the same time he wants to talk to me. However, he does not want to be with me. He want me just to sit here and be the "other woman." No way!!!

 

My story:

 

link removed

[blueyes25]

Well, let's see...for me it will be 1 week again on Wednesday...

 

He called me last Wednesday and we talked...nothing changed and it seems as though every 2 steps forward you think you take, you involuntarily take 1 step back.

 

So here I am...once again, trying to regain my footing - trying to climb out of this hole I find myself in. I know time is all I have - but sometimes time seems to be excruciatingly slow...I have moments where I will find myself thinking "this is not my life" - this always happens at the weirdest moments...and for a split second things will seem almost surreal - and then I am jolted back to reality and I find that I must embrace the fact that, "this is my new life" and I am going to be fine...eventually. Next time, I will think twice before picking up that phone!!

[regret1]

Well oh well, since the last time he called me two weeks ago (constantly calling), he has not contact me at all for almost two weeks. On the flip sides, I am on my first 1 months of NC this coming Wednesday. I mean strict NC. No email, phones, letters, nada. I am so proud of myself. I always would have dream that I spoke to him and I would regret it because I would have to start all over. However, when I wake up, I am so happy that it was simply a dream.