Need some advice! I dont know what to do

[tere]

Hi to anyone who reads this,

I'm writting because I don't know what to do... I joined a gym and my boyfriend was opposed to the idea that I trained.

Anyways, I continue going... the progress has been good that my trainer suggested me to take part in a competition. So yesterday I decided to tell him my plans to compete. Obviously he was angry and became distant.

Before I told him the competition plans, he tells me that he has to work all week until late... and that he was beginning to have courses on saturdays. And that the first weekend of August he was going to another state to visit some familiars.

Anyways, today I ate something that caused me bad from my stomach and went to the hospital. I tried reaching him to his cell and office and the cell is off and in the office the person answering said that he saw my boyfriend left at 6:00 pm.

I mean he has been lying to me?? supposedly he was working tomorrow too till 9:30 and his friend called earlier today to confirm their music rehearsal. He asks me to tell him what I'm doing and he has to lie about his activities?

I'm feeling pretty bad of my stomach even sent him a phone message and hasn't replied?

What can I do?? I'm so confused!!

[DN]

Has he said why he disapproves of you training and competing?

[jna35]

It sounds like he is VERY controlling and on top of that has been lying to you. That sends up some red flags. There's really nothing you can do until you are able to reach him. I'd leave him a message and let him know you are sick. That leaves the ball in his court! Congratulations on the competition!! You should be very rpoud of yourself for getting that far, so kudos to you!!! I hope you are feeling better soon! I would take this time and reevaluate your relationship and see if it's something you really want to remain in.

[tere]

Has he said why he disapproves of you training and competing?

 

He says that working out is very demanding and that I don't have the level to undertake a competion

[tere]

It sounds like he is VERY controlling and on top of that has been lying to you. That sends up some red flags. There's really nothing you can do until you are able to reach him. I'd leave him a message and let him know you are sick. That leaves the ball in his court! Congratulations on the competition!! You should be very rpoud of yourself for getting that far, so kudos to you!!! I hope you are feeling better soon! I would take this time and reevaluate your relationship and see if it's something you really want to remain in.

 

I sent him the message to tell him I was going to the hospital, but at this point I don't know if I want to talk to him if he calls.

 

DN,

 

by the way, I think you must be confusing with some posts I did last year... I have been with this boyfriend for 1 year.

[DN]

Surely that is your decision - why should he be angry because you want to do it. Is he worried that you will look better and meet someone else?

[DN]

Well don't' over-react until you know what happened. He may not have got the message.

 

If yo don't talk to him you won't find out why he is acting this way - there is something going on in his head to cause this.

 

Is he usually demanding and unhelpful?

[tere]

Surely that is your decision - why should he be angry because you want to do it. Is he worried that you will look better and meet someone else?

 

I don't know, but by his behaviour now he is getting me very confused... I mean why does he has to lie?

[DN]

You need to talk to him to get these answers.

 

Are you ok, btw - what did the doctor say?

[tere]

Well don't' over-react until you know what happened. He may not have got the message.

 

If yo don't talk to him you won't find out why he is acting this way - there is something going on in his head to cause this.

 

Is he usually demanding and unhelpful?

 

DN,

 

Thanks so much for your advice, I will have to talk to him but don't know how at this moment... do you think he is thinking of breaking up?

[jna35]

I sure hope you are feeling better! If you don't feel up to talking with him then wait until you are stronger. I wish you well in your competition!

[tere]

You need to talk to him to get these answers.

 

Are you ok, btw - what did the doctor say?

 

They had to wash my stomach (I don't know if this is how it is said in English). He said to get rest and if I still feel bad I must go again to be hospitalized.

 

jna35,

 

Thanks I will try to calm my self down, with all this I'm just feeling very depressed.

[DN]

There is certainly cause for concern and I don't imagine it is making your stomach feel any better.

 

When you talk to him try not to get too emotional and accusatory. Just ask him what is going on and tell him why you are concerned. Listen to his answers but keep questioning until you get the answers you need. Ask him to be truthful with you.

[DN]

Do you have family members that can help look after you?