Love of my life, killed me inside

[PendingVendingmachine]

I realize that everyone here has had their heart broken, and its happened to me twice now, lol...but this time was twice as hard, twice as painful, and im 4 times as more depressed.

 

I really loved her...well anyway... i really hope you guys dont think of me as just another whining guy who was toyed with by a girl

 

 

Tonight about 2 hours ago, my girlfriend, my love of my life, my heart, my life, my world, broke up with me. 7 months

 

She claimed that I was too jealous, that I would always accuse her of cheating on me and it hurt her 'too much' to always have me being jealous

 

I lost my virginity to her, and she supposedly lost hers to me

 

I loved her so much, theres no explanation, no description to how much i loved her, and she just dumped me...

 

she told me she loved me, but she just couldnt stand the pain or something, and i told her i could change and that ill fix everything, and that if she really loved me she wouldnt dump me

 

I cant bear it, I cant stand just sitting still, doing nothing...

 

I cant sleep,

 

I love her, i miss her, I want her, I need her, and i begged her to not break up with me even, i told her give me another week and she didnt...

 

i sound like a sad little loser, but believe me, ive had 30+ girlfriends, im not just some loser who doesnt know what love is, because this is the second time ive 'fallen in love', and this time i loved her more, needed her more, and plus, its the only girl ive actually been completely naked around...lOl..

 

god i love her, i miss her, how can i deal with this, or how can i get her back?

[MetallicAguy]

Find something to fill your empty gap that your gf once filled...if possible. But it's probably impossible because when you read what you said, it doesn't really sound like your full of ****. That hella sucks man .

[Reilly2856]

Not much you can do if it's over. Just remember that just lilke u got over ur first love and met her....you will find someone else. Probably fall in love again....who says it can't happen again, right? Just hang in there and keep busy. You'll get over her in time and be able to move on.

[yokohama_mama]

I'm sorry for your heartbreak.

 

It sounds like you might have been a bit obssessive about this girl (being jealous and accusing her of cheating, making her "your world"). It could be that the intensity of your feelings was scary for her.

 

There's no magic cure for the way you're feeling, but the pain will gradually becaom less. I wouldn't try to get her back at this point, if things were too intense for her it's better to back off and let her contact you if she wants.

 

Take care.

[PendingVendingmachine]

i didnt necessarily make her 'my world', its just, i gave everything into that relationship, gave her everything i had, you know whtas funny is i just fell asleep about an hour ago, and i just woke up now and started to cry, because normally i would call her, or get a call from her, and now who is going to call me?

 

i missher so much, school starts in a week or so...this is jsut great, starting school with no motivation,

 

i just cant be happy, i cant stop crying, i feel like ive lost so god d$$$ much, i cant bear it

[Jetta]

I understand that you're heartbroken, but your not seeing that your extreme attachment to her created this break-up in the first place. Relationships are built on trust, you didn't trust her. There will be other women, there will be other loves, but unless you change your way of existing in a relationship you will struggle through more heartbreaks. You can't go around accusing someone of cheating and expect them to stick around. How would you like it if the situation was reversed? It makes the partner defensive, not loving. No one wants to be with someone who puts them on edge.

[richiet]

Hi there

 

Well I can relate totally to your situation.

 

I had a girlfriend of 5 years and she never trusted me - right to the end. She kept hinting at it and I tried to convince her otherwise that she had no reason to worry but eventually I reliased she was not for me and ended it.

 

Then, 3 months ago my gorgeous girlfriend of 6 months who I did everything for, was a breath of fresh air, an absolute dish and princess, so affectionate, kind caring and everything I could ever want in a woman DUMPED me out the blue like you. After posting on this forum someone said something like "Sounds like you never trusted her." At the time I didn't believe it but looking back I hassled her a lot about her smoking behind my back when she told me she had quit. I also questioned her weird relationship with her married climbing partner. She have me reason to because she said she would like to kiss him and stop there. Her and his wife never got on or spoke either. Eventually she broke it off and I never thought she would.

 

The best advice is to do no contact. Delete her number off your mobile now. I know you are in a pit of despair but you have to do it to stop you doing something you regret when you get angry with her. Stay away from alcohol and get into the gym. I went through the same stuff and I sent some stuff that I regretted the next morning and I think I have ruined any chance of a reconciliation. I had a mate and she dumped him, he stayed away with no SMS, call, stayed away from places she went for 6 months and then she returned and now they are getting married.

 

Look I know you are in agony now but she knows your thoughts for her. If you do nothing now she will start to wonder how you have got on so easily with your life again....and MAY call you. You have to be strong there. Keep contacting her and begging and wailing and I promise you that you will screw it up. If you have another chance, work on the trust.

 

I know it's easier said than done because you are in a mire and this lady is a goddess, your world, the one you thought you would marry but DO IT BUD.

[PendingVendingmachine]

Ok, but i couldnt resist, she messaged me online and told me theres hope, and i told her well if she loves me shell get back together with me, and she said well i need some time to think this over, and i said well my new g/f is going to come into town tomorrow so tell me by tomorrow if you want to get back together, and she said, fine 'i dont care if you f*** her', and said 'GOOD', and i said ok, well ill have the best sex f****** her or something like that.

 

So i got angry... got upset... shouldve just blocked her, god damnit

 

Well, im going to call up my ex, not the one that just dumped me, but another one who has been flirting with me a lot lately, she said i should go to her house and 'cuddle', so, i suppose i will, itll make me feel better right? andi guess i could hopefully put those new condoms to use

 

but i think i just ruined everything with jasmine, i think its all over

 

*edit* but now that i thikn about it, it was over last night, so how is it over again? wtf? thats weird how it works

[sentencedtoagony]

PendingVendingmachine,

 

I just read your last post. It pretty much sums up exactly how I feel. My days are complete misery. Life doesn't feel like life anymore.

 

Almost 9 years with my girlfriend. Now she's with some other guy. I was about to propose to her 2 days before she ended the relationship. She says she feels nothing for me and that there's no chance ever again of a relationship with her. We lost our virginity together too. There were all kinds of experiences that were "firsts" for us. There are memories everyday. Even just the weather or the way the sky looks can remind me of some experience I shared with her. Clothes that I wore, friends and family that we visited together, music that we listened to together, walking on the same stretch of sidewalk, all the things we enjoyed or even disliked -- they all remind me of her.

 

The days drag on for me. I don't really eat. When I do the food is flavorless. I gaze at the TV, but I don't notice what's going on. I wake up all throughout the night with dreams about her. I think of all the things I want to say to her. I think of all the things I did wrong. I think of how the history I have with her, all those years of our growing together, could never be replaced by any other girl. All the things I was enthusiastic about before mean nothing to me now.

[PendingVendingmachine]

Wow, you hang in there pal, you have things just as bad as me if not worse.

 

That sounds horrible, you summed up everything that im feeling, i can barely eat, and even worse, ive been having diarreah constantly ever since the breakup...

 

But you know what? I just got a new g/f and im feeling so insanely better, i feel fantastic, happy, and i just like to show it in my ex g/fs FACE, it feels SO GOOD.

 

OMG IT FEELS GOOD!!!! Well anyway, i understand how you're feeling, actually ive only felt that way for 2 days and somehow im feeling greatly better without any influence of drugs or anything...

 

but what i think is that if you talk to a lot of people, youll realize that theres been people all along who have liked you and wanted to date you, you just have to talk around with people,

 

But youll get through it, you will, trust me, even though you feel your heart was broken, it can be welded together in an instant (at least thats what it feels like just happened today, who knows how ill feel tomorrow)

 

I know everything reminds you of her, so get rid of her pictures, get yourself a new girlfriend maybe, it helps!

 

god i have felt so horrible, i had so much diarreah because i have irritable bowel syndrome, and that breakup caused me so much stress, but you know what I did? i just signed up for a Rec center where they have a gym, so eeveryday ill be working out, and itll make you feel better, trust me, go register to a gym, and find a new girl, doesnt matter who, it just makes things go easier,

 

just bear with it, the pain will dull soon!

[sentencedtoagony]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better!

 

I'm doing better than I was earlier today. I thought about doing the gym thing about a week ago and it kind of got pushed out of my mind. I should look into that.

 

I don't think I'm ready for a new g/f just yet.

[CassieL45]

The same thing just happened to me. Yesterday. My boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months dumped me all of a sudden. He said it just wasn't right anymore. I'm completely torn up. I love him so much. He alwyas told me he loved me, needed me, wanted to be with me forever. I'm so lost now, I feel like this huge part of me has been ripped out. He was my best friend in the world. We'd talk for hours, I could tell him anything. I'm also 16. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, everything. I have no idea what to do. I'm pretending like I really don't care but I'm so torn apart. It was so sudden, so random. I want to call him and beg for another chance, but I also don't want to be that pathetic girl. God I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to him but I can't. It would be too painful. I can't be friends with him. I need my boyfriend back. I understand exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry for you.