All the mess of my friends and I'm in the middle

[dontknowwhattodo]

Dear all, I am kinda in the middle of something and any advice would be really appricated. Here is the story.

 

Several months ago I introduced my friend (let's call him Richard) to my girl friend (let's call her Julian). The reason I introduced them to each other was because I thought that we were cool people and it would be nice to hang out together. We made a great group. We hung out and had fun. Richard liked (and still likes) Julian a lot. They went out on a date (yeah, only one date) but it turned out that Julian thought that they wouldn't be great together (because Richard is too nice and she said there was no chemistry, nice guys finish last!), so, they ended up being friends. Later Richard brought his friend into the group and the mess started. This new guy (let's call him Michael) is engaged. Here is the snap shot. Richard likes Julian, Julain likes Michael a lot and Michael is in a serious relationship that he is not happy with. So it ended up that Michael started to hang out with Julian (as friends, as they both told me) and Richard was hurt.

 

Because Michael is in a serious relationship (but not happy with it) Julian comes to me to seek advice for what she should do because she really likes Michael. Richard also comes to me to seek advice on what he should do to win Julian and he tries to get info from me about the progression of Julian and Michael. Michael never told Julain that he is in a serious relationship though (he didn't tell many people about it). Julian knew about it because Richard told her.

 

I am really in the middle of this mess. They all are my good friends but I am sick of being the middle person. Please help!

[Cynder]

Man, reading this was like watch the WB network, lol.

 

I know they are all your friends and you care for them, but the best thing you can do is stay out of it. I know that is eaier said then done when they are all friends of yours. I'm not saying avoid them, just don't get involved with the soap opera. Hang out, be a friend, don't contibute.

 

If Michael is so unhappy with his relationship he should leave it, and Julian shouldn't be pushing herself on him.

[dontknowwhattodo]

I told them all to leave me out of it as I don't want to get into the mess. But Richard and Julian still keep coming to me for advice. I told both of them that I couldn't and wouldn't say anything and won't be a good advisor for this matter. It seems like they don't get it.

[DN]

Tell Julian she should not be messing with someone who is engaged, happy or not.

 

Tell Richard he is wasting his time and to find someone emotionally available.

 

Tell them both you will not repeat anything told to you in confidence.

 

Then tell them that is your advice, it is the last time you are going to give it so can they please talk about something else.

[dontknowwhattodo]

The issue with them is getting messier as they just called me for help on this matter. I told them what you said DN and am totally out of it now. Thank you. And last but not least, this makes me feel good about being singel again because I don't have to deal with something like this (though it is sad that I learn the lesson from the pain of my friends).