How do you know when you are ready to date again?

[disEnchantid]

It's been about four months since my ex and I broke up for the second and final time. Even though I still miss him sometimes and still feel angry at him other times for what happened, I am becoming very comfortable being single and doing my own thing. I've tried some things to meet new people, but nothing has panned out and, frankly, I don't really have the energy or desire to confront the singles scene head-on.

 

I joined a gym and have been going on a fairly regular basis. I work two jobs and when I'm not working or at the gym, I want to be sewing or reading--not going to bars or singles events. One of my friends commented to me tonight that she thought I needed to go out more. This worries me a little. I feel as though if the right guy came along I would be ready and eager to pursue something, but no one has come along, and I worry that I'm not fully over the ex yet in order to give that person a fighting chance. I have also been battling self esteem issues, and feel that until I feel better about my appearance I shouldn't bother going out to bars and those types of venues.

 

What are everyone's opinions on getting back into the dating world. How do you know when you are ready to date again? Is it ok to just be reclusive for a while? I sometimes worry that I wasting my youth by taking myself out of the dating scene...

 

any advice would be appreciated,

thanks!

-dE

[mieshagirl]

Everyone is different. Do what your heart is telling you to do. If you want to just be at home for now, not dating ; that is fine. But I would not stay like that for a very long time. When you're ready to get back out into the "scene" you will know. Take your time. That is great you're going to the gym and doing the things that you want and love to do.

I have been in a similar situation, was with a guy for 6 years. It took me a long time to get my feet back on the ground and feel like looking for someone to care for again.

Take your time.

[CarterJonas]

Everybody is different though!

 

A lot of people jump into relationships straight (ish) after a breakup just to get over the pain. But in reality the baggage from the last relationship is taken into the new one. Also the new person is not someone who they want, just a comfort blanket for the time being.

 

I would take your time, get over your ex, be happy being single and then find someone. Don't do it because someone else says you should. Only do it when you want to!

 

good luck