Why did She Lie??? Was I being played for a fool?

[David111]

Well here was my situation...I met a girl in an online dating site. There was instant chemistry and we ended up dating and as boyfriend and girlfriend for approximately 5 months. I fell deeply in love with her. It was a long distance relationship and we were 2 hours apart via car. We would spend most weekends together, save during the week. We would talk every single day via msn and almost everyday via telephone once. She told me everyday how much she adored me, how she wanted a future together and how I was the best boyfriend ever!! I even went to her brother's wedding 2 weeks before we broke up and met her family and she had bought me a couple of gifts the week before breaking up.

 

Here was the dilemma (or at least I think) I had. A month before we broke up....I had a suspicion something was going on...just a hunch. Why??..because for 2 weeks straight ...after we spent the entire weekend together...when I or she would leave sunday night...right from the get go..starting sunday night she would be going out every night during the week...from sunday night to thursday night. We would talk briefly on msn anywhere from 6pm to 8pm. Then she would go out and not come home till at least 12:30 am ..the latest 2:00 am. But when she got home she would always call me from home. So one night when she thought I was working I came down to visit her. I kept her on my cell phone up until 8:30 pm. She was adamant that she was tired and was going to stay in that night and give me a call at 12pm..12:30 at the latest as she thought i was working. When I got there at 9pm..she was not home. So I waited around at her place. 12pm came ..no call, 12:30 pm came...no call..eventually 2 am came..no call and she was still not home. Well eventually at 2:30 am I caught her walking home at 2:30 am with another guy holding his hand. When I confronted both of them they both denied anythign was going and and both admitted to only being "just" friends!! Furthermore, the guy of whom she was with told me he knew about me, ie. her boyfriend. When I confronted her about the issue of holding his hand...she said that she was an affectionate person and that this guy was her best friend and she is always affectionate with people close to her. Last, the excuse and/or reason she gave for not telling me about this close guy friend of whom she alleged was her best friend was that she thought I would have an issue with her having a male friend as a best friend!! She further admitted that this guy was someone of whom she had told me earlier had tried to kiss her once and that was the reason also why she did not want to admit to hanging around him. So I let this go and we were still together. However, my trust level in her declined a great deal. After this incident she bought a calling card as she did not have a cell phone for the purpose of calling me more often. However, the pattern still continued. She continued to call me at the earliest..12:30 am when she got home during the week. Not once did she call between 8pm and 12:30 am.

 

Finally, before our final weekend spent together, She called me at 2am sounding a little tipsy. I asked her where she had been?...First, she told me she had a stressful day at work because she was in an accident and that she had a seziure and blacked out at work where she was taken to the hospital. When I told her I didn't believe her...she then added she just came back from drinking with her 2 guy friends as she was released from the hospital at 6pm and needed to blow some steam off. So I proceeded to spend that weekend together with her. She appeared more distant than usual and even said quite a few times of how her neck and back were bothering her as a result of the accident at work. She told me she did not feel liek doing anything and If I wanted too I could leave. Well I did leave briefly on the saturday to go out saturday night to meet up with some friends but came back Sunday again. On Sunday we spent the day together and everything seemed to go really well...like it was almost in the beginning.

 

I came home Monday...and proceeded to call her Monday night at 12:30 pm from my cellular phone. As she answered my cell phoen died out and we got cut off. I immediately came home and charged my phone and proceeded to call her. While I was on the phone with her...she alleged that someone called her at 12:30 am and hung up on her. She further alleged she traced the phoen number and that it came back to one of my girl friends' numbers. This was a girl friend of mine of whom had tried to reach me at her place when we first started dating. Well, first of all I knew that the girl friends phoen number of who she was alluding to didn't exits. As a matter of fact, it was put out of service 2 months ago. Next, I told ehr it was me who called and hung up. So I basically caught her in a lie. She denied it event though she was caught. She asked me if I wanted to check her future phone bill if I didn't believe her. At this point, I told her that she was pathetic and that she believed in her own lies. So subsequently she hung up the phone on me and never called me back again.

 

The very next day I tried to call her at work. When I called her boss answered and said she wasn't scheduled. When I asked how she was doing from the accident at work...he told me there was no accident, there was no seizure and she was never taken to the hospital. I didn't even tell him who I was nor did he ask. I couldn't believe she lied to me ..or made up a story about having a seizure at work and then continuing the charade over the course of the weekend I spent together with her. She even went so far as to tell me the employees at her work bought her cake on the friday before the weekend...as a get well present!!

 

I wrote her one final e-mail getting things of my chest. Her only reply was to still deny everything. She even went so far as to say her friends at work knew ahead of time I was calling and that they gave me a vague answer. Well I knew her co-workers never knew anything or were expecting me to call. I knew she was full of crap and lying. She furthermore went so far as to call me possessive and a stalking boyfriend. I think she was just laying her guilt off on to me. The more I look back teh more I think that maybe all this girl did was lie to me.

 

Now I wonder...did at anytime did she ever really truly love me??...or was she playing me for a fool??? and why did she lie to that extent???

[RayKay]

To be short and sweet...

 

She sounds like a complete and utter flake, and a manipulative liar and cheat to boot.

 

I don't know why she lied..other than because she is a fruitcake who has no respect for other people or herself. I would say no, she never really loved you....as when you love someone you don't lie, cheat and flake out on them.

 

You are MUCH better off without her, she should of been kicked to curb way earlier...but at least it is done.

[annie24]

Ditto to what raykay said. Yup - liar, cheater, manipulative! And a bad liar! Seizure, hospital? Who goes to the bar when they get released from the hospital?

 

You are much much much better off without her.

[Hope75]

Wow,

 

I am so sorry, but it sounds like you really were taken for a ride.

 

At the very least she is out of your life and you can go forward and try to be happy without her.

 

What a jerk!

[DN]

I think RayKay and annie, in their inimitable style, have been far too kind about her

 

Move on and find someone worth your time.

[Tpysl]

Yes, I HIGHLY agree, you should move on. This person is a perfect example of one of the worst personality types in relationships. She did nothing but try to hurt you. I'm very sorry.

[Cecelius]

So I let this go and we were still together.

 

That was your first and ultimately failing mistake.

 

A girl who hold hands with another guy strolling along at night is not your girlfriend.

[saltwatergirl]

I'm so sorry you met up with someone like this. SHe is a total and complete pathological liar, and to continue lying even when caught! Wow! I know how that makes you feel!!! Makes you wonder if they have lied about EVERYTHING they ever told you! This is the worst possible type of person. I am so glad that you ended this because otherwise you could have spent YEARS being lied to over and over. The hospital story was so lame, but then again I've fallen for worse.

 

Count your lucky stars, and whatever you do stay COMPLETELY away from her! Take serious action to rid her from your thoughts, whatever it takes, until you see her for nothing more than the pathetic liar that she is.

 

Salt

[David111]

Well...thnx for the advice everyone. I mean ya..I am starting to date again...but i still think about her a lot....even though I felt like I had been betrayed by her. Since the break up though it seems that as more time goes on...I think I realise just how much and often she may have lied to me a lot more...(little things pop up in my head of what had happened or she said to me while we went out) that when I think back now...didnt' make sense and now I think I know why..probably because she was lying!! One question I still ask myself is this...the sex was really really good...I mean the best!! Even she admitted it was th best she had ever had (with me) to which I believed...so if she was, in fact, cheating...why??..if she was getting the best sex ever??....We were two opposite people...she was an artsy intellectual type and I was a jock, sports minded type.....my thinking is maybe it was because she was looking for someone else with more common interests. Oh well...just something I am always wondering.

[RayKay]

The thing to keep in mind is that people do not cheat just for "sex"....I mean who knows with this girl as she is crazy, but they also cheat for emotional fulfillment, because they like the adventure, or are not ready to commit. It could be many things. And "best sex" does not necessarily mean "most satisfying sex" in all cases to all people...my guess though it is was not "for sex" she was cheating anyway.