Sex toys and male insecurity???

[sprkal]

I would like to suggest using sex toys with my boyfriend. Up until now we've experimented with a little light bondage but I'm not so into that any more.

I would love to get one of those penis rings that have vibrating bits for the girl as well as I have trouble having an orgasm during sex due to lack of clitoral stimulation.

I'm concerned he is going to feel as though he isnt good enough for me and that I need something "better". This isnt the case of course, but it is fun to experiment with something new.

What do all the guys out there think? Would you feel insecure if your girl requested soemthing like this?

He's not at all an insecure guy, but how can I suggest it to him in a way that wont make him feel 'weird'?

[SadnConfused]

He should learn to use his toung first and possible fingers before you even start the "deed". I would not be opposed to some fun sentual toys. The problem is even being a man that is endowed above average, we dont like the thought of another "dork" entering that area. It is pure competition. Sorry.

[sprkal]

Well he is well endowed definitely. and he perfoms oral sex very well! I think the feeling given by a sex toy is different though. Any further thoughts?

[Lexicon85]

He should learn to use his toung first and possible fingers before you even start the "deed". I would not be opposed to some fun sentual toys. The problem is even being a man that is endowed above average, we dont like the thought of another "dork" entering that area. It is pure competition. Sorry.

 

What if she asked for a penis ring?

 

I have no idea/opinion on this. I have never used a vibrator or a dildo.

[Shadows Light]

I can see where you are coming from. And I think most guys are intimiated as SADANDCONFUSED stated...by the possible competition. Men want to be the one and only to satisfy you...and if you suggest a "toy" they feel inadequate. They don't get it..that its not like that at all...that you just want to experiement...they see it as an affront to their maleness...

 

If you get a toy...they arn't all that and a bag of chips.

 

This is a toy.. you want to bring to bed together... not one that you want to use when he's not around.... right. And even then, they feel funny about that toooo believe me. Personally... I see nothing wrong with them... I'd rather hit up "Bob" then have to beg... or be frustrated.. but i digress from your question.. which is bringing in a toy for the both of your enjoyment.....

 

You will have a difficult time getting this one past him if he feels this way.

 

Well endowed and he uses his tongue well... wow... you lucky girl.

 

Well... you don't know until you try soooooo try to assure him and reassure him... and reassure him again and again and again... that its just experimenting to see what sparks. Heck, you might buy it and find out that it does nothing for you afterall. LOL. Again, lots of love and lots of reassurance and boosts to his ego... and you know... he just might like see you get off like a lightening bolt while he's... uhhhh hem... in you.

Don't know unless you try.

 

Good luck.

[SadnConfused]

Make a bargan... You use a toy, let him do anal... Score settled.

[melrich]

I don't know how old you are but i would think any guy with a bit of maturity would have absolutely no problem with it and more than likely would be quite excited by it.

 

If your partner lacks maturity and is low on self-esteem and confidance you may have to approach things more delicately.

[Shadows Light]

Melrich is right... it very well may be a maturity and self-esteem thing.

 

Maybe even education is the key.

 

A toy will never replace the real deal. Sorry...it just can't. LOL. And thats something you'll have to delicately get past him.

 

LOL... I once bought my mate a book called..the one hour orgasm... OMG you would have thought I'd sawed off his pecker. It wasn't a bullet aimed at his manhood or performance... it was meant as something fun we could explore together. Like a book on the Kama Sutra... hey, look at all these fun postions... lets try this.

 

Actually he didn't have a problem with my having a BOB at all. Never said a word about it. The ring thing... well... I guess I never thought about introducing something like that... but it sounds like a great idea.

 

Again... gotta tip toe around that male ego... and somehow maybe have him think it was his idea. HEY.. how about you going shopping together... ever take him into a TOY SHOP???? now that could be fun.

[Day_Walker]

I personally dont mind if toys are brought into the bedroom, in fact it actually adds a new demension to the whole experience. If you say that he isnt insecure then I dont see why this is such an issue. Odds are if he is opposed to the idea no matter how you tell him, he is still going to have negative feelings towards the idea.

[elveden]

If I were you, i'd tell him that everything is great at the moment (like you implied) and suggest that you spice things up a little to keep things exciting. That way you'd be constructively critisizing

[cam4u]

First posting, but your question MADE me do it. ANYthing I can do to add spice to our bedroom is great. I knew my wife was a bit kinky for years and didn't pay it much attention. After surfing online one day, I bought her the wrabbit for thoses "lonely times" and had it shipped to her when I was going to be out of town for a week. Let's just say, that we now have quite a collection of things to add spice. We did buy one item that was considerably thicker & larger than my slightly above average .... ahem, and for about 15 seconds i felt like "wow look at that and look at me" but once we were going and I heard "gasps" that I had not heard before, nothing else mattered

[CarChica]

I don't know how old you are but i would think any guy with a bit of maturity would have absolutely no problem with it and more than likely would be quite excited by it.

 

If your partner lacks maturity and is low on self-esteem and confidance you may have to approach things more delicately.

 

 

I totaly agree! If he is a well endowed as u say he is than i would think he wouldn't have any problem at all, Of course asure him that it to will only be used during sex.... Good luck

[Laughing Sam]

Shadows Light has a really good idea in her second post. My wife and I went out to dinner in London on our anniversary and after looking round the shops for a while she said "lets go to a toy shop and both buy a present for each other" I agreed, but it wasn't Hamleys she was thinking of. We had great fun and it was a very sexually charged experience. (would recommend it).

 

Seems like your b/f is quite open minded if you have already tried a little bondage so give it a go.

 

Honestly all this talk for male ego's. we guys should be ashamed.