Ex is trying to mess my head up please help.

[terrybuk]

Hi thanks for any help.

 

Ok met a girl a work about 6 months ago and we started to date. A few weeks later she started to act strange and I figured there was more too it. I soon found out partly through my own guess work and things she said that there was still an ex in the picture and that she slept with him about 2 months after we got together. The result was that she had gotten pregant. The rest was a bit of a mess. It was like having a 3 way relationship. She asked me to walk away a few times which I did and never got involed in what she should do about being pregant. I did walk away and let them 2 sort it out. She got an abortion and she got back with her ex. The baby between them would not have worked out as he slipt up with her the first time around and she want him to want her and not a baby. Well it didnt last only about a week. She found a way to contact me and I got with again.

 

Though it would be better as not problems where in the way. She said to me once that she got back with him for her and knew she didnt love him any more. Also that she only though about me and she has always done that, she split with me to sort her self out and didnt want to drag me into the mess she was in.

 

After a few weeks of us getting together again I felt really insecure, you see because we work together she would often pop into work drunk. She would just go for a drink with anybody from work. She seem to be on a destructive mode. Also when we dated she would be on her phone all the time or texting all the time and being really secritive with again put me off. This happen alot. We split up about 4 weeks ago. She got drunk in a bar where her friend worked and we ended back at a party. She went missing. I found her coming out of a toilet with a lad who worked at this bar. The door was not closed and when she saw me out side she said she was just having a line as she put it. A line of coke.

 

This really upset me and I didnt do anything, I was stupid for not doing anything. We left after that. I checked her mobile when she stayed at my house and found text's from her friend making it clear that this lad liked her. In the morning she was getting loads more messages and she was acting strange. To cut it short, her friend had given her this guys number and he started to text her. I confronted her and she went mad at me for checking her phone. We split up after that.She blames me for breaking her trust, which I understand from her point of view. I chased her the next few days and she just went mad calling names and telling me she was with this guy. I was a bit bit nasty back and things got really petty. We had to be given different shifts at work because of what had happen and it worked.

 

I still had the pain but it was easier not seeing her and I hated her for treating me like that. I stopped any contact and didnt speak to her for about 2 weeks. I got too she had finished this guy guess he was a rebound and not what she though he would be. She tried to speak to me in work and I told her to go away.

 

I felt strong so we Met up and talked about things, she said that she had treated me like dirt and I deserved better her head was messed up and that she needed to be single. Just want me to be happy and she did love me and has always loved me but saw how she was messing my head up and didnt and couldnt do that too me. She want us to be friends and wanted to contact me. We text each other a few times and ended up going for a drink a few days later. I was just cool about it not talking about the past. I dropped her off and I told her that I still loved her and she said the same but didnt want to get back with me. I sort of knew we wont get back but like everyone had some hope.

 

Now we are not talking again, a few friend at work asked me to go out for a few drinks and a meal and she wanted to go. I didnt want that but couldnt stop her. All night she didnt speak to me and was all over another guy at work in front of me. I kept my cool and just igonred her. When it was time to get off I wanted another friend to drop her off and told her to get her bag from my car. She said for me to wait as she was finishing her drink and spoke to me in a nasty way. I had enough and got off, she walked down with work friends and got in my car. I argued with her in the car telling her not too speak to me like dirt and she went mad saying she didnt ask me to go to out and that these friends are hers as well.

 

All very strange and just head messing words. I dropped her off and she called me telling that I was a big mistake and that she can do what she wants as we are not together. I just ended the call. What the hell is going on in her head one minute its me the next its her. It all seems like a game. I fell in love with her and now she seems to want me to hate her. She wants to be friends but not showing me any respect being all over other guys wanting me to know about it as well. She had made it clear that she doesnt want to get back with me but way is she doing all these things it just hurtful. We havent spoke to each for days and I dont speak to her in work. I understand the crap she has been through but it seems she is taking it all out on me. Thanks for any help. I know not to contact her and I havent.

[passions1]

Some exes are mean after a breakup so that it is more clear to the person that there is no hope in the future that there will be a chance of getting back together again.

 

Your best bet is to keep you distance from her, she appears to have quite a bit of destructive behavior. Try to keep yourself busy, spend time with friends/family. It'll take some time before you may heal enough b4 you're ready to meet other women for dates. It's perfectly fine being single & healthy which you were b4 you met her compared to being miserable & taken by someone else.