before and after

[workaholic]

Hi girls, hope your summer is going along well.

I was wondering if you could share some things about how a guy who wasn't interesting to you from first impressions suddenly became a guy to become friends with simply because he said something(s) that were interesting, humorous, or intelligent in his conversations. I'm always stuck in the "Before" stage, where I talk to girls but haven't said the "right words" that can lead to a connection. I've done compliments lightly, I've told interesting stories about myself and shared my opinions. And, I've said things that have made girls laugh hysterically, but only for a moment. I'm developing the natural ability to keep things going with my conversational style. Hopefully your answers will give me an idea on how to re-focus my talking.

[Lily96797]

At first I wasn't interested in my husband but as we continued to talk I found out that he and I really loved the same old rock bands. We talked for hours about them -- he knew everything there was to know about the bands and he was so passionate when he spoke....right from the heart..

 

That's when I knew that I had to go out with him to find our more......

 

And rest is history....

[Jinx]

For me in any person it is always the true personality that shines. I like when it is kept steady and doesn't bounce from one meeting to the next, so that I realize that this person is truly himself and not acting nice or friendly in order to get attention.

 

Onto the real subject, talking. I can carry along a conversation but if no topics I'm really interested in come up, it remains quite monotone and regular in the way of conversation but if we have a talk about interests, and we hit one which is shared, I'm off and running, and usually the man is too. Eventually something simple as a shared hobby or general to do can open the gates to interesting insightful conversation between two people.

 

Personally for me, compliments are okay eventually but not usually the first meeting. Always seemed a bit awkward to me, because you don't quite know the first meeting just what the guy is saying it for, call me odd or cautious but thats how I view it anymore. Jokes are fine, as long as they're limited, otherwise it gives the impression that the other is nervous without something fluid to discuss.