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I need bad advice (if ur a cop i need u more)


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ii need a cops advice....

or anyone who knows that i might be going through....

 

 

I havent wrote in this in maybe a year, because i thought that i could figure things all out by myself.

 

i cant... i am in desperate need for an answer. I am so stressed out that i actually was in the shower and thought of drowning myself.

 

my father just got a liver transplant, he was never there before, but now he is here for us. My sister is gettin married in August, so my mom is very stressed out with that, it seems like everday shes loosing more and more weight, she actually turned 50 years old yesterday and weighs 110,

 

ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, through a lot of bad times in our live we stuck through things with eachother, he has a very very bad home life and now he became a cop. he works 2 part time jobs as a cop since he cannot get on fulltime yet.

 

i see him atleats 1 time every 2 weeks...maybe not EVEN THAT.

i dont have a job anymore, ive been looking but i cant seem to find anyone that wants to hire me. im a good kid... i dont do any drugs or even drink or smoke.

 

my boyfriend and i have been talking about if we even should be together since we dont even see eachother anyway. But if we arent together, we will be waiting for eachother, we wont be going out with other people. so its like...either way were waiting for eachother.

 

i feel worthless that i dont have a job. everyones telling me "im procrastinating" im so stressed out with things its rediculous. I signed up for beauty school, but they dont start until December.

 

I feel alone... between all the family problems, i think my boyfriend and i need eachother. but what if i wait forever? i use to be with him all the time. now its been almost 6 months and ive seen him atleast 10 times.

 

he said to me "they warned me about this at the police academy...they told me that my relationships might not work out because work gets in the way."

 

i am truley...truley sad. i cant sleep at night as it is worrying about if hes ok. and the days hes off...hes so tired he falls asleep. not that its bad... because....

 

......

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I know a few people in the police service (friends and family) and I will say it is very difficult for all those involved. The hours, the lifestyle, the inability to really "share" what happens on the job yet taking the work home with you mentally, all take a toll on spouses and children.

 

One of my friends also said the amount of alchohol abuse and infidelity in the police service are astronomical. They turn to alchohol to "forget", and to affairs for someone who will "understand" as opposed to the poor spouse at home who feels misunderstood too while trying to raise children. The divorce rate is higher in the police population (70%) then regular.

 

But, that does not mean there are not people who don't make it. It just takes a lot of communication, understanding, compromise and maximing the time you do have together.

 

You two need to decide together what you want to do...right now it sounds like you are too wrapped up in his life and dependent on him in many ways, hopefully you going to school will change that though. However, 10 times in 6 months seeing him is not really fair to you either. You need to decide together whether you want this to work, and if you DO, discuss what you both need for that, and what steps you will take to keep your relationship strong and healthy.

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I agree.

 

I'm sure he understands how you're feeling about this, but perhaps you should try to tell him just how unhappy you are with your current arrangement.

 

10 times in 6 months isn't particularly healthy for any relationship. The time you do have together thereforeeee has to really be special. Plan trips out and make the most of it.

 

Hope you get it sorted soon

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I just told him, that his work is more important right now, and that i cant be fighting and crying myself to sleep at night. he understands. we both arent blind to the facts.

 

its just... so hard... i will miss the love we had, all our secrets, looking into his eyes, fighting, making up, he was my best friend.

 

were still going to be friends, hes still going to be my best friend, we just have to be grown up and try to get through this.

 

i cant really explain it, but i still love him i know that

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