need some input

[sundaymorning]

broke up with my girlfriend of 3 yrs in April. Due to sonstant fighting and trust issues. Anyway she did not take it well and held on to me for several months until the pesent. She was never able to let it go. She began to grow very bitter towards me because I was constantly telling her that there is no other way. I mean like hateful bitter! She still starts arguments and still crys and begs and I feel very very bad and lately down. I feel like I am hurting her more and more but I cannot get back with her because I know its not in my heart anymore. I too have grown bitter towards her and lately its been a ALL OUY WAR! We say very hateful things to each other and this past month has been a nightmare. I know that there isn't a chance for us especially since all the crap that has happened lately. It seems like so much crazy, and I mean crazy, sh!t has happened that there is no way that we can save this relationship. she asked me if I was still in love with her and I told her that I wasn't. It was very difficult to tell someone that you do care about that you do not love them. She became very angry and fought with me for the next several hrs. She began to blame me for this relationship, say hurtful things, warned me that she will find someone soon because she cannot be alone. Basically asked if "it was ok" if she started seeing someone else because I am going to hear about it. I said that was fine. Then she began to cry and it was very very hard.....but at the same time she was mad and bitter and telling me that she wanted to do something "bad" to me...that that was how mad she was at me. Because I wasted 3 yrs of her life because in the end I told her that I am not in love with her anymore. Can anyone give some advice. Anyone been in a similar situation? helps alot, thanks.

[sundaymorning]

oh yeah, we do not live together. And correction: "she said that she wanted to do something "bad" to me! Whatever that means.

[lillady898]

I think nearly everyone who has gone through a tough breakup has gone through this- I know I have for sure. Anger is one of the initial phases most people go through after breaking up. People become bitter and "hate" eachother. They fight and argue soley about being broken up and who did what wrong. Some people go through this longer than others. Some for a week, some for a year, some never. It usually passes, however.

 

You should definetly consider no contact at this point in time. This fighting will likely only make the wounds of the breakup larger and more painful for both of you.

[DN]

Definitely no contact - in fact I have to wonder why you have been in contact with her so much since April that she has an opportunity to behave like this.

[saltwatergirl]

I agree....no contact. Starting now.

 

Salt