IN NEED OF SOME ADVICE..to ease my mind

[goose1118]

ok i am 16 years old and have just gotten back together with my girlfriend.. we went out for 2 years before that.. and broke up for 7 months and are currently together again. ..the problem is things arent the way the used to be.. before she could say she loved me but now she doesnt.. but she thinks she does.. she says she that she will always have feelings for me and that if i am gone she will always be missing a part of her.. but something is diffrent..like now i am the one always calling her.. and always wanting to do stuff.. she wont come to me and say "lets do sumthing".. somethings wrong..

 

for instance today i asked her if she wanted to do something tonight aand she said no... it seems she would rather be with her firends than with me.. or she just wants space.. like we see eachother maybe 2 times a week.. and i cant live without seeing her.. does she still care or is this relationship going downhill?

[mazzirl]

sorry to break it to you. but i think your instinct is right. if you love someone like you seem to love her. you wanna call them, and be with them, and tell them you love them.

if she doesnt call you there is either something on her mind, for instance family problems, or she just doesnt wanna talk to you.

It seems like she doesnt really want you. but is too scared of not having you in her life, because of habit. I think you'll agree your worth more than that!!!

if i were you id back off. go out with your mates. let her call you first. i know its hard, but wouldnt you be better off knowing now if she wants your relationship. or would you rather carry on like this for a few more years. and then break up. you know what you have to do.

[lifeiscash]

Yep, all to familiar.. see, your only 16, but these things happen to people at the age of 30. It sucks, really it does. Everything used to be so great.. the times when she wanted to go places with you and try new things... now it seems you can barely get her to do ANYTHING. Yea, see I learned how to deal with that personally, and that was to give up. You can't change how a person acts around you or feels about you. You just have to accept things for how they are and continue to do things that bring out happiness within you. If it becomes a really big deal.. maybe you should talk with her about it.. if you sense your relationship is going downhill.. then it probably is.

[heloladies21]

Just back off and give it some space. Nothing pushes a woman away more than a needy man. Relax, stop calling so much, have fun with your life outside of her, and let things play out.

[Hope75]

How long have you been back together? What were the reasons that you broke up, and have they been resolved?

 

It takes time and effort from both parties to bring a damaged relationship back to the level of intimacy you once shared....

 

It could just be that during your time apart your gf has learned not to depend on you for all her fun and happiness, and to lean on friends for support and fun as well. Too much togetherness can be smothering, and that might have bothered her or you before. I know I went through this during my breakup.

 

I agree with the last poster that you should try to take things slowly and give each other the space you each need, but definitely talk with her about your feelings and see where she's coming from too. If you aren't on the same page about where the relationship is going, you might need to re-evaluate why you got back together in the first place, and if you are still making the right choice now.

 

Good luck!