Don't know how to deal

[LEYboy]

so over the last 5 years of my life i've relized that i get really jealous of little things. for example a friend could be telling me how they went to a party and thease people were there and we did this, and i want to always be the main person in the story or at the party, i also get really jealous and ticked off when a guys hits on a girl and/or the girl likes the guy at all even sometime when i might not really want to be with the girl but more when i do want to be with her. i relize that most people don't have the same reactions and that itrs sorta selfish, and i don't know how to overcome it.. if anyone know what i'm talking about can you give me some advice to not be so jealous all the time. thanks.

 

lew

[lifeiscash]

You sound just like my roomate. He always wants to be the center of attention.. or at least around it. Always has to be the one the know the person.. always be at that place when things are happening. Maybe you are putting to much emphases on things that really don't matter. Your young.. so you will learn, but I think it's just one of those things you are going to have to work with and outgrow. And some people, never do.

[Anna133]

Look being jelous isn't bad at all, everyone gets jelous once in a while. But it sounds like you get jelous with just about everything. If you do get jelous really think about it. "Why excactly am I jelous?" If it's just a little thing like if a girl likes a guy or something I'm sorry to say that isn't right. Just think about if you do get jelous over things that aren't your business people that you care about and care about you will be upset with you and maybe you will even loose some friends. And then eventally they will get sick of your jelousy. This is sorta a habit? The thing you really can do is think about it, don't let this take over your life. I hope everything works out for you.

[Shadows Light]

Well.. I think you are at a stage in your life that you are trying to develop and identity of your own. Those are the teen years. And when you see someone else doing something you want to be doing... or have something you want to have... or being someone you'd like to be... you feel pangs of "jealousy"... "why can't that be me?"

 

Being able to identify it at your age.. is a GOOD thing. You are on the right path. There are many people who can't identify this about themselves and get over it... and the little green goblin just grows bigger and bigger in their heart...and as they get older it can really do a number on their psyche... ruin their friendships.. ruin thier lives..and hurt those around them. YOU??? You are different.. .identifing with it...and calling the Devil that ails you by name... is half the battle. Lucky lucky person you are...

 

Some people... take this "Jealousy" feeling and turn it into a positive.... for instance... friend gets invited to all these parties and I don't.... so instead of hating the friend.. you might try to identify WHY...and then cultivate those social skills that will get you invited to those kind of parties.

Orrrr.... the HAVE to HAVE's... you might cultivate.. hmmmmm how do I get from point A to point B.... like so-n-so...and maybe see the path they took as a learning experience.

 

Being jealous...and brooding over stuff... doesn't get you any "PAY OFF"... its non-productive. The "pay off..." is in figuring out what you want.. and being a mover and shaker to get there.

 

However.... someday.. you may get to the point where you surprise yourself... you may look at someone and be "happy" for them instead. Happy that they had a good time. Happy that they have what they want. Happy that they are the people they are and they are friends with you...

 

Try not to compete with what your friends have... or who they are. Look for your own identity and what makes you "happy" truly truly happy. Jealousy.. obviously doesn't make you happy. Soooo figure out what it is that makes you happy...and go for it. Figure out how to get there. AND... have you ever heard the old adage that its better to give than to receive. Giving someone happiness or being happy for them.. is a GIFT. Big time. BIG BIG BIG.. PAY-OFF to you as a person... and to them.