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Conditioned off sex

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Are you worried that you won't find a partner for years?

I remember some of your previous posts, and if you are like me, then you might have become desperate to find a woman to experience intimacy with... Don't fret (easier said then done, I know!)... And don't settle for 'just someone'... I can tell you from personal experience, that being intimate with someone that you don't really love or care for, it is the coldest experience in the world...

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Well if I was with a partner and weren't making love for months, weeks, years.... I wouldn't be conditioned into not making love, I'd probably lose interest in said partner because they didn't want me.


But I don't think that was your question. Your's was a question of living celebet and forgetting how to be intimate? Making love is a natural bodily function. So it would be like riding a bike. You'd get back on that horse again and... it'd all come back to you quickly. So don't worry about being "rusty".


I agree with the previous post. Finding someone or picking just anyone to keep your technique or libido in check and up to snuff isn't the right thing to do. While the adage is that "every cat in the dark is the same." This is not true. We are all unique individuals. A part of the human condition and that's what makes us wonderful creatures and keeps life interesting.


Enjoy your time alone and pursue other endeavors which will make you a well rounded person and help you grow. There's more to a relationship than just sex. When the sex and intimacy waxes and wanes with the passage of time... a good conversation and common interests

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Well, I had heard that your body can get used to just masturbation, in which case you start to have trouble enjoying sex with your partner. Now I don't know if there's a difference between having a lay off from sex, or never ever having got used to sex to begin with. I mean, maybe it is like riding a bike, but then some people never got round to learning to ride a bike in the first place.


Incidentally I'm not looking for advice, just people's opinions on whether this issue has any truth.

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Yes, you can become used to masturbation and when you all of a sudden have partner, it might be more difficult for you. That simply has to do with the fact that you already know what you like and what does it for you...a new partner doesn't know what particular things really float your boat. But it can be fun teaching them....and learning what they like in turn.


My thought is people get into trouble when they make it into a bigger deal than that. Just because someone new doesn't get it "right" they assume there's something wrong with them, the new partner or both and they go into some panic-laced, disaster-ridden spiral of thought from there...without ever first communicating what it is they want. You've got a much better chance of getting what you want if you ASK for it and don't expect your partner to just magically know what makes you tick.


As I am fond of saying, "I gave up my psychic powers to live among the mortals. The only way I will know -- FOR SURE -- what someone else will like or want is if they SHOW ME or TELL ME."

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I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Sex is natural. YOu can have sex with anyone, altho some are more attractive to you then others. I am not saying that you should, but sex is something that is as natural as breathing.


It may be natural but it is not always easy. That is why there are so many sex clinics, sex therapists, sex advice columnists and a whole section on this forum devoted to it. I don't see a section on here devoted entirely to breathing.

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Sex is natural. However, being complex mammals with complex minds and emotions sometimes makes sex difficult and so we need therepsists, and these forums and self-help books... to bring us back to a natural state.


Our lives are so full of un-natural. With every piece of new machinery and every gadget that we develop to make our lives simpler, we instead make it more complex. Adding complexity to our minds and our basic human nature. And if the mind is the primary sexual organ and not the penis or vagina... it stands to reason that the more complexities we add to it.. the more basic human natural instinct we lose.


ie... evolution at its best.

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