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My name is Matt; I'm gay. My friend's boyfriend introduced me over the internet to a guy he knows named Bobby. Bobby is also gay. We talked for about 2-3 hours straight; we have literally everything in common. It's obvious that we like each other a lot, but we're in totally different places emotionally and mentally. He is SCARED TO DEATH of starting any kind of relationship with me, and he's been kind of avoiding me for the past couple of weeks. Plus, I'm out of the closet to like everybody, and half of his family is homophobic. So... yeah. I told him before that all I want right now is a friendship and we can just see what happens when/if the time comes. Of course, that was a lie. I want nothing more than to be with him forever. However, he told me that night when I told him that I just want to be friends that he had a "revelation" and found out that he doesn't need a relationship. Of course, I'm totally hurt and crushed, but he still avoids me! I think he's just scared of his feelings, quite frankly.


We have never met in real life, although we live in the same town. I have repeatedly offered to meet him and just get together to hang out or something, or just talk on the phone even, not at all like a date, but he always makes up an excuse so that we can't. However, he has NO problem going out to the movies with OTHER people, including someone he's never met before!!!


This is incredibly hurtful to me, and I've been depressed and physically sick about it for a week now. What should I do?

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For whatever reason, be it fear or maybe lack of interest, he doesn't want to be with you. What should you do now? For one, stop asking him out. You have suffered enough rejection from him. And another thing...you never met this guy in person so knock him off that pedastal you have him on in your mind. There are many wonderful men out there for you who aren't afraid of their sexuality. Stop contacting this guy and start chatting up others. You are a catch. Remember that and you will find someone who is right for you.


In the future, try not to get so attached to someone until you have met them and gotten to spend some real quality time with them to see who they really are and if they have the qualities you're looking for. You can avoid a lot of needless hurt that way.

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