Im lost, my ex g/f still loves me, but wants a break?

[Broken_walk]

I've been dating her for about 6 months, and it was, and still is the best relationship I've ever experienced. We had such a strong love, though it seems funny, because we haven't been together that long, but we've bonded...as I thought. But I mean we had trust and all that good stuff. She was the first g/f that actually cared what I did. I smoked a lot, (cigarettes and pot) and drank occasionally, and yes I am underage. But she helped me threw it all, and came to realize that is not who I am. She cared and loved so much she had me. I knew I could be with this person forever. I live down the street from her and almost every night I would walk over to her window and get in threw there cuz it was late and her parents would freak. But we would cuddle, mess around...not sex, and talk threw the night. And then one night it got outta hand and we had sex. It was her first time, she was a virgin, I told her I wouldn't push her into it and it was her choice. So after that we would "do it" almost every other night. She says now she has no regrets of what we did together. Anyway...

 

Then summer arrived and we ended up being gone a lot to visit family and junk. She would visit her dad in Houston for weeks and I would be visiting family. We talked and got together when we were home hanging out. But then the week before Independence day i had to go to this Pole vaulting camp that my father decided would help me out with it, since he was a pole vaulter too he thought I'd be nice that I would get more into it. So I left for a week and a half and every day I was gone I thought about her. I also had things going on in my life that have kept me down and depressed.

 

Like...

My parents have never really loved each other, probably only got married cuz they had me.....so now they r getting a divorce...my grandparents on my dads side of the family tell me im a fuk up and I need to go to Military school...and when im around them im the most polite nice kid ever, its jacked up, and my dad wants to put me to military school...and were moving to Virginia, but when my mom divorces him we stay here....my life is gone sooo *beep* far down hill and all this other junk on top of me. And this is when i NEED her the most! And she throws my heart away almost.

 

But anyway...Independence day, i was like yes! i get to see her! So i called...the fist thing she said was "Bret...i didn't want to say this over the phone, but i want to break up." So immediately i thought she was after some other guy. You know how it works... So she started crying cuz i thought she was gonna go out with some other guy. And said i must have never trusted her. She now she just wants to be friends and said she doesn't want a boy friend right now. But i need her, I've fallen sooo deeply in love with her, shes made my life a hell of alot better and made me realize how special i really am. I feel like a *beep*, but yes i cry every night when i think about her... how i must have ruined her having sex with her. I broke her and i thought it was special, tho ive had sex with many others, she meant the most. The God honest truth. So i call friends that day, my best friend told me she talked to him about breaking up with me and the whole deal. My friend told me that she was talking to this OTHER GUY. This guy is 20...she is 16...the guy is her best friends older brother, he recently got outta jail!, is balding!, and does all sorts of drugs(maybe not anymore i don't know). I called her again and got pissed cuz i thought this, she cried again saying that she didn't like him like that. I thought she wouldn't even think about a guy like that. She's one of thos really clean and Christian girls, tho has a bad girl inside. I still talk to her, she still tells me she loves me and cares for me just the same...just different in a way i guess.

 

Now its been 2 weeks of torture for me, ive thought about death, tho im not the crazy type...shes made me crazy. I talked to her last night from now and she said she did like this 20 year old punk, but never messed with him. I told her what i felt. I think she just needs space i guess. I've come to the conclusion that maybe she was scared of a serious relationship...tho shes had a few before, but now needs space. I'm scared to give her space, because i might loose her. My heart is broken im resorting back to drugs and smoking *beep*. My life is *beep* i Need someone to reach out and talk to me. My friends try to help and girls i know try, but im still lost.

 

Please help me, tell me what i need to know. I'm loosing my mind.

[Day_Walker]

Face the fact that you are most likely going to lose her. If she says that she still loves you but wants a break then what that really means is that, she doesnt want to be with you. Its just a nicer way of saying it. What you can do is learn from this situation and realize that no all relationships are meant to be serious and overtime you will learn when another person wants a serious relationship and when they dont just by talking to them.

[shiminimo]

i disagree with what has been said above

sometimes people breakup under circumstances that they cannot control and end up getting back together later when there problems have been resolved. every relationship or person is different you can only go by what you feel or what you know is right.

[.Real Talk.]

i agree shiminimo, im sort of in the same situation, my ex and i decided to take a break from each other and jus be friends for now. she has a lot of things she's stressin over right now and its alot to handle rite now. So i decided to step back and be her friend, this way we avoid all the stress that comes w/ being in a serious relationship (which is what we had). I still very much love her and she says she still very much loves me but we need to do this because i dont want all the other crap happening in her life to ruin what we have.

[Day_Walker]

Yes of course its possible that they could bet back together. What you are doing is giving him hope that something might happen but I am telling him what the numbers say and that is that taking a break means breaking up.

 

Real Talk

Given you are in the same situation it seems that you also want to hold onto that hope that you two will get back together, if you want to do that then its fine. People grow, change and whatever else. You may end up together or you may not but I will not give the original poster false hope when it seems that his situation has ended.

[Vert]

I think both of you have valid points, and I am in the same situation with my current ex-gf. She said that "something wasn't right" with our relationship and we needed to be apart from each other for while to reevaluate our spiritual lives. At any rate, most of the time when one person claims they "want to take a break" it is usually meant as "I dont really want you right now, but I want to keep you hanging around in case something better doesn't come along". It's basically keeping you on a hook. I've had it happen to me where my ex would say that, develop new boyfriend candidates, and move on while I waited for her to make a decision. I say you should keep your distance, but also meet new women and see what's out there. When the music stops and she starts dating someone else, you don't want to be the guy standing without a chair.

[.Real Talk.]

Walker, you're right. I wasn't saying you were wrong, it really just depends on the people and the situation. Maybe im wrong, maybe me and my ex dont get back together. It just that from whats happen so far between us and knowing each other i feel that we will. It all depends on the person and the vibe that you get. I feel this way because i know her as a person and from the things she says, i feel she really means it. Maybe its me and i'm a sucker for her words and i believe everything she says. I took peoples advice on what to do once and it almost messed up everything for me, it was a good thing i didn't.

 

broken_walk, he's right though, its all in the feeling that you get, dont get your hopes up and be let down at the end. I'm following my heart and at the same time im analyzing the situation and feeding off my ex's reactions and what not. and thats the outcome i came up with. thats why i feel the way i feel about whats going to happen.

[Broken_walk]

OK listen to this...last night i went out with a few girls outta town after my ex and i talked. We drank alittle and things got outta hand and i had sex multiple times. This morning when i posted this my brother went out to skate, now hes friends with my ex g/f's brother and he knew wut i did last night. So he told her...she called me and was upset. W.T.F? ok if shes gonna b like that then im not sure what she wants. And how im suppost to approach this? She still seriously loves me and doesnt even know why but doesnt want a boyfriend. I know im repeating myself and u have given me good answers, and it helps but im still confused seriously. Maybe im retarded.

 

[.Real Talk.]

see, same thing happened to me but not to the extent of having sex with any girl. i told my ex that i was just hanging out w/ a few girls the other day and she got upset at me. but really for what reason? we weren't together, she knows my love for her is just as strong as it was wen we decided to take it really slow and just be friends. its so confusing man, i want her back so bad but i know i gotta take things one thing at a time and let things fall in place.

[Broken_walk]

Dude its a F U C K ing pain in tha A S S, going threw this. I didnt mean to do what i did the other night, and i told her and hope she understand that ill never love anyone like her the way i have. Im falling apart trying to make sense of it all, and tryin to give her space. I want to just run up to her pour all my feelings out, kiss her again, and want her to feel the same back. This waiting s h i t isnt gonna work out for me long.

[Broken_walk]

Dude its a F U C K ing pain in tha A S S, going threw this. I didnt mean to do what i did the other night, and i told her and hope she understand that ill never love anyone like her the way i have. Im falling apart trying to make sense of it all, and tryin to give her space. I want to just run up to her pour all my feelings out, kiss her again, and want her to feel the same back. This waiting s h i t isnt gonna work out for me long.