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I told him our relationship wasn't good for either of us anymore and he told me I can go ahead and have my "shallow little life" if that's what I want. I told him all I want is to be happy in life and neither of us are happy together.


So fine. Then this morning he phoned me at work and asked me to talk about last night. I said, "what's to talk about? we are broken up." He then proceeded to tell me how selfish, cold hearted, etc. I am because last week he tried so hard and now this week I told him I didn't want to be with him.


He said he is meant to be alone and that I treat him like he's a monster, so from now on he will never try with women and blah blah blah, and yikes. He's scary when he is emotional.


My friends said they would come and help me put on a new lock on my doors so he won't get in once he leaves. I'm really glad, because I know he will try to come back and take things, do things, etc.


Thank you so much for your support. It will be rough for me for a long time I think, and I'll need some counseling to get through all the damage he has done on me, but I'm doing it!


Here's to a new life!

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I have just read your other posts because I did not know your story.


I think you did the right thing. Of course it will be hard for awhile, what can you expect? You definantly did what was good for you, and you know that.


I'm proud of you! So many people get mistreated and don't deserve the way their significant other treats them. Sometimes they think it will get better, but in reality, in most cases it will just get worse. It takes a strong person to realize that there's a major problem with the way they are being treated and that they need to get away from it and to actually do something about it!


You will get over this. It's great that you have support from your friends. You will need it. And you also have support from us!

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Good for you soft monnlight!!!!!

Well done!


If I were you I would tell him to get out immediately, that way you won't have to worry about him trying to slowly grind you down into letting him stay. Its best he goes right now while you are remaining strong. He is not your responsibility, I'm sure he can stay with a friend until he gets himself sorted out. I'm sure if the situation was reversed he wouldn't give a damn about whether had anywhere else to go. In the meantime if he hits you again I would call the police immediately and have him arrested. I also think your idea about changing the locks is a good one.


Good luck! This is a new beginning, be excited for the future you have a lot to look forward to now you are rid of this dead weight.

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Congratulations for being so strong!


I remember reading your other post (I think I commented on it as well) and am happy to hear that you have chosen to ditch this guy and remove him from your life!


Changing the locks: excellent idea.


Letting him stay at your place for a while: not so excellent.


As Dannysgirl said, it would be best to get him out of there immediately. I'd be worried about him trying to act sincere and trying to win you back or trying something more serious...like causing you more bodily harm. He's not your responsibility...he's a big boy, he can find somewhere to stay for a bit.


Good luck with your future and keep us updated as to what happens!

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I didn't comment on the letting him live with you for awhile part, but I basically agree with the others. It's not a good idea. You are no longer together so he doesn't need to be living with you either. The sooner he gets out, the sooner you will get over this. It might just make things worse if you let him stay. You will just have to see what effect the break up will have on him and it might make you feel guilty and worse. It makes the chances of getting back together higher as well, and that's not what you need!


It's a sweet and considerate thing to suggest it, but really not a good idea.

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Im so proud of you.


We have both been in abusive relationships, and sometimes that makes it even harder to leave.


You are being strong, and that is soo important.


Softmoonlight, being one that has been in a verbally, and one time physicaly abusive relationship, I see how hard it can be to finally make that choice to leave the other person altogether. I agree with others here that you need to tell him to get out now. He no longer has a right to be living with you, and as Dannysgirl said, he wouldn't give a s*** about you most likely if the situations were reversed.


It will be so tuff, but then again, you may feel relieved more than sadness because you have finally let go of something that has been causing you only pain and hurt.


i'm proud of you.

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Shawna, if an abusive bf offers to move out of your life, take him up on it! Just wanted to add: Please have someone there with you while he's moving out. I don't want to scare you, but he doesn't sound stable and it's during the breakups that abusive men are the most likely to handle things badly. Kudos & Good luck!

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just read your story, you definatly made the right choice. I'm glad we were able to show you the truth you already knew. This is a great place (enotalone) Please let us know what happens next. Wish you best of luck.


There will come a time when you might actually regret your choice/miss the man. This is natural, don't call him. Come to us or your friends instead.

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Oh you guys are so awesome! And you know what? I am starting to feel better and better.


I emailed him and told him to be out of my house by Wednesday. I hope that he does it.


I do have two male 'escorts' (friends of mine!) who go with me to the house whenever I need something like clothes, etc. I am still at my friend's house, but darn does it feel great to be rid of him!


He actually phoned me at work yesterday, begging me to meet up with him, that he was going to propose to me, give me flowers, wanted to go to couples counseling, etc. I told him it was too late, but he cried and cried. Then he phoned my mom and my mom STILL sides with him even though he has abused me very recently.


She is absolutely nuts. Thank God for my dear friends, who without I wouldn't have made it through this. After all, if you don't have the support of your family, it's very hard to get through such times. Luckily I have my friends!


And luckily I have you guys. Don't give up on women who are in bad relationships. We just need everyone to support us until we finally can cut the ties.


Hugs, and I'll be back soon.


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