confused woman

[SW]

The ex gf has a history of running from me. The last time we spoke in Febuary she told me to leave her alone and she was not going to talk to me anymore. So ,that what I did , I ignored her for almost four months. I would see her around about once a week and just pretended I didnt even know her, but I she would do little things that made me think she was still interested.

 

Well, last week we met on a bike club trip . The Saturday we didnt say much , but I said hi to her and we talked for about a minute( first time in 4 months) On the Sunday morning I made casual converstaion with her and it was an amazing feeling to talk to her again. Well, we ended up riding together the whole day ,just the two of us . We talked non stop the whole time.It was so obvious that we were enjoying each others company At the end of the day she told me it was nice to talk top me and she was glad the silence is over.

 

 

I am happy to be friends again , but there is still a strong attraction and I would like to pursue a relationship again in the future.

 

So my question is; how do I handle things from here? I will not phone her or ask her out , we will meet on our bike club rides on the weekend. I want to be in control this time.

 

Any advice?

 

thanks

[Blurr]

Why not just remain friends and leave it at that?

 

If she has a history of running from you, what makes you think that things will be any different this time?

 

I understand that talking to her felt great and that you were very comfortable, but I think just remaining friends is the best idea. Time for you to move on and find a new love.

[lillady898]

People can change only if they make a conscious decision to do so. As far as you know, do you think she has made the decision to not flee? Usually people who run have a reason for running away from a relationship. Most of the time it's due to fear. Fear of commitment, fear of their emotions, fear of the person they are with, and the list goes on and on. I think maturity fixes some people's fears in relationship, but others that are created from negative past experiences can only be fixed by their fears being proved otherwise. I, myself, am fearful of my (ex)boyfriend because he has hurt me in the past so many times. He had changed a lot but I took every little thing he did as a bad sign. Which, in turn, makes me freak out and I back away. It's a habit I'm trying to break and he's trying to help me in figuring out how to make things better between us and fix the gaps we have. I need to lay my fears to rest. Maybe your girl needs to do the same?

 

Anyways, if she doesn't seem like she's changed, it may be a bad decision to pursue a relationship.

 

How can you be in control this time? Just control your emotions. If you do this, all things will fall into place and you will have your 50% piece of control in the relationship. And that's assuming she has changed and is willing to put in the effort into a 50/50 relationship.

[miracle29]

If someone was running from me that much, i'd stop chasing them. If i want a running work out..i'll go to the gym. Think about it. You can and will find another fish in the sea...God didnt break the Mold when he made her....that i can assure you!