Pregnant Woman!!!

[melrich]

My partner is pregnant.

 

She is now a completely different person to the one I fell in love with...her personality now ranges somewhere between George Costanza on speed and psychotic sadist having a bad hair day.

 

For the last month I have only spoken when given permission to do so and even then I have learnt to choose my words very wisely.

 

So for the guys that are parents...how did you handle it? Did you leave the country or simply disappear into the attic?

 

For the girls that have been pregnant...when you are biting the head off every living thing within 100 feet of you are you saying "get this thing out of me!!!" or do you really mean "I love you but just leave me the hell alone".?

 

Or is it something else again? I am too scared to ask my formerly loving, beautiful partner.

[Meow18]

I have never been pregnant or anything, but I do know that some women get that way. When pregnant, you get major mood swings.

 

How far into the pregnancy is she? Luckily this all isn't permanent.

 

 

 

I found some articles that might possibly help answer questions you have:

 

 

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[melrich]

Hi maggie,

 

She is 15 weeks in. Yeah you are right it is lucky it is not permanent...otherwise she would be facing life as a single mom...LOL.

 

I'll read those articles. I have read quite a few but none really give the father to be much advice about how to handle it...they all seem to be directed at mom...what to expect etc.

 

Thanks for the references.

[tri]

I can speak from experience i have 2 girl now aged 12 and 9 and the first trimester of your pregnancy,bearing in mind each woman is different is awful.What you have to remember is your wifes/gf's hormones are running rampage and also her body is undertaking a massive change plus alot of thoughts are running through her mind.Bear with her but try not to let her get away with too much.Your right though alot of articles do tend to gear more towards mom than dad .Have you any male friends who are dads that you could talk to?

[avman]

Having been through this three times, the best advice I can offer is keep the faith. This is a temporary condition. The rush of hormones, discomfort, and nervousness she is feeling will be a lot like Jeckyll and Hyde. She's fine one minute, the next minute she's got you by the throat screaming at you how its all your fault that she feels this way.

 

Rest assured that something you did that was totally fine yesterday is now completely unacceptable today.

 

I know this can be very difficult. But it will pass. Make sure to spend a little time with your friends. They can keep you grounded in reality. Put your energies into getting ready for the baby. If you have a big project you need to do (painting a room, remodeling, etc) then now is a great time to do it. It gives you a breather from her but it also shows you are focused on getting ready for the baby.

 

The second trimester is a bit better. Hang in there!

[RayKay]

Hey richgabe!

 

Ah, the joy of hormones. Trust me when I say she is probably just as stressed and confused about it as you are!

 

Some women seem to have more dramatic swings in pregnancy then others..so while you might not have gotten off scott-free, take comfort in you might not be the WORST off either

 

I have not had a child myself, so can't tell you personal stories, but I do know many who have, and it seems that as avman said, things calm down later on as the body adjusts more.

 

There are many days where you may just have to come up with that "yes dear" even if you have absolutely no idea what is going on...lol. I know it sucks, but I guess it is nature's "test" to determine your strength before you get around to the actual baby!

 

It is good you are in tune to her ups and downs though as you are, please continue to do so....after the birth, many women also suffer postpartum depression due to the sudden loss of progesterone, so keep an eye out for this as well. It can be quite devastating at times and even be deadly...though most women suffer more minor symptoms.

 

I second avman to in the respect of: keep the faith! Things will settle down, and in the end it will be ALL worth it once that beautiful baby is born.

[Day_Walker]

I would be more concerned with her learning that this kind of behavior is acceptable and it continuing after the pregnancy is over. You have to learn there is a fine line with peoples actions, it sounds as if she is going too far. It all depends on how much you want to put up with. If you want to continue to put up with her behavior then dont do anything but if you want to make postive steps to it improving then its going to take some work, arguments and probably crying on her part. If she acts like witch then you treat her like a witch.

[Meow18]

I would be more concerned with her learning that this kind of behavior is acceptable and it continuing after the pregnancy is over. You have to learn there is a fine line with peoples actions, it sounds as if she is going too far. It all depends on how much you want to put up with. If you want to continue to put up with her behavior then dont do anything but if you want to make postive steps to it improving then its going to take some work, arguments and probably crying on her part. If she acts like witch then you cheat her like a witch.

 

I don't know if this is a good idea. It's not exactly his wife's fault that she is crazy.

 

Have you ever been in a bad mood, and then someone else is in a bad mood too? It doesn't make you feel better, it probably will only make things worse.

 

The best thing for you to do is avoid her when she's in one of her moods. Nothing you say at that time will be right and she will most likely take it the wrong way. If you just get mad back, things will just be way worse. No point in trying to stop it when it's just her body acting normal. She doesn't hate you at all. As those articles have said, its a normal reaction.

 

If you can last a couple more months, just try to hang in there. If you notice she's in a bad mood, just leave the room. I think you would both prefer it.

[Day_Walker]

Have you ever been in a bad mood, and then someone else is in a bad mood too? It doesn't make you feel better, it probably will only make things worse.

 

The best thing for you to do is avoid her when she's in one of her moods. Nothing you say at that time will be right and she will most likely take it the wrong way. If you just get mad back, things will just be way worse. No point in trying to stop it when it's just her body acting normal. She doesn't hate you at all. As those articles have said, its a normal reaction.

 

If you can last a couple more months, just try to hang in there. If you notice she's in a bad mood, just leave the room. I think you would both prefer it.

 

I dont believe that avoiding the issue is best, if she knows that she is acting this way and your expectations that she wont act like this and wont put up with her acting rash and flying off the handle then she will think twice about doing it. Its all how you set up the situation, I dont believe that you should just sit there and take it then just leave the room, hormones or not. Be consistant with your actions and she will know exactly what she can and cant get away with.

[I_love_rain_hugs_and_you]

Hormones don't force anyone to act any particular way, and everyone is responsible for thier actions. People shouldn't be allowed to mistreat another person, especially a loved one, and use a hormone excuse. Tell your partner that she needs to treat you and everyone else with respect, and that you will demand nothing less.