Recovery stages?

[Siwelttap]

What are the stages of recovery? My gf of a year and a half broke up with me at the end of may. I went from down and thinking about her to somewhat level and not thinking about her much, and now i'm back to thinking about her. I realized that today, and it kinda ticks me off. I just want to get better!

 

This whole thing just pretty much sucks

 

 

Thanks in advance for the help

[melrich]

They are usually broadly defined as denial, anger, acceptance, grief, recovery but they don't necessarily go in order and people don't necessarily go from one to the other and never go back again.

[Rozsi]

I think that it's a process. And it isn't a smooth one --it's ridged. A book that helped me is How to survive the loss of a love. And it talks about that --that one day out of the blue --bam. I can tell you it does get better.

 

Hang in.

[chris7]

Just allow yourself to feel whatever stage you're in because as bad as it can feel you'll start realizing after a while it's going to pass. Try taking them on one by one and not dwell on which one is coming next.

 

And if you can spoil yourself just a little in the process, that helps, too.

[Siwelttap]

Thanks for the advice guys (and girls).

*sigh* I'm still pretty ticked i'm back to thinking about her again though. I'm going to try to keep out of the house and keep busy

 

--that one day out of the blue --bam.

What?

[salmonhead_uk]

Ahhh, don't feel bad for thinking about her. Just accept that you do - worrying about doing it will make it worse!

I think about my ex quite a bit - totally normal if you've been in love and shared a lot of days over the course of nearly 2 years together. They are memories, and they hang on. But eventually there won't be room for all of them and they will fade into now and again memories...i promise you.

It's grief. there is nothing wrong with mourning a dead loved one...is there? Infact, if people DONT think about a dead parent/relative they tend to go insane...as insane as you may be feeling allow yourself to just do what you do - you are you after all...if it's your way to think about her then do it. Make yourself cry. Whatever. When it comes down to it you'll take your own time to sort yourself out. But you will eventually. Sure, I could write that you should buck yourself up, and get out, and do new things - and you will...but the thoughts still hang on - I know, mine do. Thats where time comes in.

So...XXXX it to the stages, XXXX to anyone's magic formula of feeling better, you WILL get there, you absolutely will, but don't start analysing how you should feel - you'll feel how you feel for as long as you do. It's natural.

Im on 2 and a half months since break up - after 1 year 10 months. I go out and I'll get a pang thinking - great, now i go home alone, or see my friends chatting to their other halves on the phone and think, great, no-one to text...which starts thoughts off. So I think them. It makes no difference - it doesn't bring him back, so hopefully one day I'll have grown out of it - after 1 year and 10months I'll have been alone as long as with him, then THAT will seem normal!!!

Do you see what I mean? I think maybe I've had too much coffee. Anyway, i understand, just allow yourself to BE!

take care hun xx