Something about Mary...(Or Melissa???)

[Alpar80]

Ok, so we all seen the move something about Mary right? So take this one up! A few yrs back I was happily in a relationship with a girl named "Melissa", not her real name but we'll call her that in case someone's snooping! So anyways since our break up I, of course, have moved on and have improved on many aspects, except for my dating! It seems as if no matter what, even if I meet an attractive girl at work, everything fails, because Mellisa is on my mind. Now, yes this has bothered me, we stay in touch often on the IM just curiously seeing what the other is up to and it seems as if she is having the time of her life where she is, constantly stating that she is seeing all these attractive guys, to the point of rubbing it in all of our faces, and I say "all" because she leaves away messages on her IM profile for everyone to see. Now I know its my own prob to get over this girl and yes I need some advice but here's the messed up part. I have been in touch with mutual friends that we both share both of which are male and find "melissa" attractive and both have the same prob I do, they just cant get this devil of a woman off their mind!! What the hell is going on here??? Is it her attractive looks that keep us going back to her or her striking independence that lures us? Perhaps is that she is going out with just about everything that is approaching her? I just dont know but for one, its keeping me stuck and for two, its driving me nuts!!!! My game is ruined and for the rest of these guys it seems as if theirs is also!!! Any advice on how to get this girl off my mind?? I dont want to loose her as a friend!!! I have dated other girls in the past and they haven't the same effect !!! I swer this ones tapped my and the rest of their's heads!! HELP!!!

[lifeiscash]

Okay dude, simply wake up!!

 

You wan't her out of your head but you don't want to lose her as a friend?? Okay man, right now.. make the choice.. there is NO inbetween. Do you want to keep her as a so called friend and let her DRIVE you crazy just like EVERY OTHER GUY SHE KNOWS.. (which tells me that you are just like every other guy to her).. or do you want to move on away from this girl and REALIZE that she isn't as much hype as you think she is?? It's your choice, your life, your decision. If you want to stay in a pity state then by all means keep being friends, but I really do think you know what to do. I think the fact that she drives all these guys crazy is because she is good at what she does. She lures guys in.. lets them have a piece.. but not the whole pie. And when the guys figure out that *she doesn't need them* it drives them even more crazy.. this girl must be good at what she does... Either way, games won't get her too far.. Doesn't it upset you that every guy she knows is just like YOU?? shouldn't that motivate you to move on and be different then every other guy?? Wake up.. make the right choice.. DOOOO IT!

[Alpar80]

Bro, thanks for the info! I should jsut take her name off of the instant messenger and say screw it. I dont know why it is such a diffacult thing to do, i mean why dont i feel this same way about my other ex's ??? I guess youre right she is good at what she does! I mean ?? Picks up dudes and drops them like flys then keeps them around for saftey... Man !!! Let me know!

[heloladies21]

You wanna forget her? Cut contact for good. It will help you get over her for real. Delete her AIM name and don't look back.

[may55]

Also remember, she probably is not as great as you think she is. You just perceive it that way now because you can't have her. Which I am sure she likes and as Lifeiscash says, she is good at. A few of my old female friends were like that, always good at playing the attraction game. But I also know that they are single now, 30, and have no relationship skills whatsoever and are lonely and desperate. Just remember there is far far more than attraction to a relationship. You are probably associating her with some fantasy which I can promise you is NOT reality. Go fall in love with a woman and truly know and understand her, it will cure you forever of people like this woman. Trust me.

 

And yes remove her from your instant messenger list.

[Alpar80]

Bro, thanks for the info! I should jsut take her name off of the instant messenger and say screw it. I dont know why it is such a diffacult thing to do, i mean why dont i feel this same way about my other ex's ??? I guess youre right she is good at what she does! I mean WTF?? Picks up dudes and drops them like flys then keeps them around for saftey... Man !!! Let me know!

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

lol, you sound like one of my ex's friends. All her friends are her ex boyfriends. They all hang around her, hoping for another chance and she absolutely loves having all these men wanting her (she's a model, smart, and very witty). It's kind of sad really. Not me, when she broke up with me, I promised myself that I would be the first one to completely break off all contact with her and honestly, it's bugging the heck out of her. She's calling now more than when we were dating. I'm not taking her calls, but she is leaving messages saying that she wants to be friends and just friends, over and over and over. Ugh....

 

Don't be like the my ex's ex's. lol Take hold of your life and make the effort to break free of this woman. The only way to do that is to completely cut off contact. As long as you keep in contact you'll always have her on your mind. I know it's hard, TRUST ME, I completely know where you're coming from, but you have to do it if you want to truly move on.

[Alpar80]

Yeah I guess so, I deleted her name, now i cant look back. This is gonna be tough, gave up smoking along with some other bad habits, we'll see how long this will last. I think I will break when she trys to contact me but, I will have to resist temptation and not give in no matter what kinds of pet names and stuff she throws my way.

[Alpar80]

Lonely, man you hit the nail on the head. It is tough and you know that story sounds so similar to mine. I wonder why women like this do this sort of thing? It really all came to my attention when she was wanting me to come visit her, buttering me up with all this soppy stuff. I didnt end up going, i was so close but resisted, thank god i did cause the whole time she was buttering up one of her other guy friends who did end up going. She fooled around with him and left him there while she would go out with some other dudes, I felt so bad for this other guy friend of hers, but at the same time was like man that could have been me! I am completely baffled why someone would be like this, especially her, because it really seems like down deep she has a heart!! Maybe its lack of self security, because everytime we do talk she makes it out to sound like i am the one with all the issues and shes god's gift to the world! *Sigh, maybe this is the best thing to happen to me! Thanks all! \

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

It's not that she's a bad person. I'm sure both our ex's aren't. I think they both like having the option of being able to go back to an ex but they don't think or even consider how much they are hurting those ex's. By buttering them up, leading them on, she is only holding the ex's back from moving on and finding someone who will appreciate their love and support.

 

Like I said before, I feel for you, I know how hard it is but you have to do it. My suggestion is this, when she calls ask her what she wants from you. If she says just friends, tell her the truth, you tried being just friends but being around her is only holding back your own happiest because you still have feelings for her. If she truly gives a dang about you she'll either respect your decision or maybe (and I mean only maybe, it's not likely) suggest that you two try again.

 

Stay strong buddy.