My ex asks the same thing everyday.

[av82]

Well...I'm sure some have read my previous posts. Me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up for 6 months now. We have been through so much since we broke up. We have had constant arguments (which occurred after we broke up), make-ups, NC, and just periods where we get along. He broke up with me because at the moment he was having some personal problems...and was depressed....along with this came confusion.

 

Finally in the past month we have been friends without any arguing...I have been giving him his space. I will be online and he just comes on and starts talking to me...I do the same sometimes. In this past month I been doing good in not bringing up the relationship and conflictions we've had. In the midst of this...I have been suffering from anxiety problems which I never had problems with. He knows this some what....and everyday for the past month he literally asks me how I am doing...if I am doing ok.

 

I still have feelings for him...and he says he still has feelings for me...but doesn't want a relationship right now with me as he says. We would constantly keep arguing because he felt like I was pressuring him into a relationship. Now that I don't pressure him...and decided to just be his friend....he asks me the same thing everyday: if I feel better. I'm trying to be his friend...or I am...but it seems that he got this guilt on him. Then he worries if I am mad or something. I don't get him...when I would mention any confliction he would get mad...and not want to talk about it. Now that I don't mention it...he does and wants me to explain my feelings...when he never showed he cared before. Any input?

[MaxPayne19]

It seems like your ex is really confused about his emotions and doesnt know what to do. He asks you if your ok everyday because he cares about you. He doesnt want to remember breaking up with you cuz it will make him feel upset and guilty of your past times. Thats most likely the reason why he turns it into an argument and doesnt want to talk about it. Its important that you both stay mature about things and dont delve into the past too much.

[av82]

Thanks Max

 

It really sounds a lot like him. When we would argue...he would say how he wants us both to move on past all the conflictions and arguing. It does seem like it makes him feel guilty.

[starion]

if he was depressed or still is, it is only normal to be confused.

he has to understand that depression is tricky like that.

you associate things close to you as the possible cause of it, like gf/bf, work, friends. you think you need something else, you may lose what is dear to you. you may obtain some piece or "happiness" elsewhere but it doesn't last, it is not real. you start question everything and being confused and not sure what is going on.

if that is the case, unless he gets better with his depression or realizes that the depression causes all these things things will be tricky.

all that is unfair to you, i would stay away and let him make up his mind WITHOUT you always being there.

[lightn]

starion wrote:

 

if he was depressed or still is, it is only normal to be confused.

he has to understand that depression is tricky like that.

you associate things close to you as the possible cause of it, like gf/bf, work, friends. you think you need something else, you may lose what is dear to you. you may obtain some piece or "happiness" elsewhere but it doesn't last, it is not real. you start question everything and being confused and not sure what is going on.

if that is the case, unless he gets better with his depression or realizes that the depression causes all these things things will be tricky.

all that is unfair to you, i would stay away and let him make up his mind WITHOUT you always being there.[

 

I agree with above statement. Depression can be confusing and if he has depression then they act like nothing is wrong or did nothing wrong. Until he gets help with it then the answers will be always the same and short answers also.

It is time for you to stay away from him and give him the space and let him figure this out. Do not pressure him or back him in a corner. Once done like that it will only justify his decision. If silence must be heard then it will have to be and let him contact you. Most guys do have hard time expressing themselves and when they don;t know what they want then the emotions are confusing.

 

Take time to heal for yourself.