i THINK i've seen the light. MAYBE.

[sarsapolis6]

Instead of going into friends with benefits situations, it would be best to prefer "buddy" situations. I can't say what buddy really means, sorry but you'll get the picture:

 

What do you think about the following comments from what people have told me?

 

"Two people, totally complete strangers, are initially interested in each other but after dating decide that they don't want to be in a committed relationship however agree to a sexual relationship until something else comes along. Usually the people involved are already sexually familiar with each other."

 

and

 

"im a guy who hasnt ever had a "buddy".

i have had women who said they wanted to be my "buddy", but it always turned out that they really ended up wanting more.

only thing i can tell you is, give her lotsa respect, and try not to make it sound cheap. she may not want to be your "buddy" if she has the impression that this is all you want.

 

maybe the best route is to be "friends", and, during the friendship, make it really clear that you dont want committment. then, if she shares that desire, and the "chemistry" is right, you will "fall into" the "buddy" deal.

 

i dont think the majority of women would knowlingly go into a buddy deal, but, it would be OK if it naturally progressed into that."

 

 

Now, here's my problem. I have dated women before and whenever it didn't work out, we became friends. I expected that at some point we would get together for some "fun", but what happened is that they maintained a platonic distant from me, while dating and sleeping with other guys!! In some cases, girls who said that "lets just be friends" slipped away from the scene all together. I tried calling them and all I got was PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE.

 

So, what can a male do if he wants to keep the connection with a failed date that might lead to sex?

 

Overall this makes sense. There are girls I know who started out as being just friends with me..we didn't go on a date, we just met at work, class, and extracurricular activities. Now, because we've maintained a platonic state of mind with each other, they are like sisters to me and I would never never jeapordize my friendships with them through a FWB situation.

 

I'm glad I realized this, because when you DATE, you're dealing with strangers. period.

[Jetta]

I don't think it'll work. Mainly because you already dated and there's going to be some lingering feelings, attachments, etc. Not a good idea. Ha my ex-husband actually suggested this for us. Not happening.

[asdf]

don't sleep with a girl you just want to be friends with. it just becomes more complicated after that in the long term.

[sarsapolis6]

Two people, totally complete strangers.

Basically it is me and a woman that I don't even know UNTIL we start to date. It is not the same as meeting a girl, becoming friends with her from the get-go and then asking her if she would like to do a FWB. I am not going that route.

 

I might live in a small city, but there are lots of women out there.