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Hello all,


I have been with my current girlfriend for 1 year and 2 months and have been sexually active for most of that time. My problem is that I simply can not finish when I am with her. I have cumed 3 times with her total.


I can get it to work fairly easily by myself. I feel it might be something on the emotional level, although I feel very calm with her now, in the beginning of our relationship I felt very pressured to cum and I still feel that pressure.


My girlfriend has been totally understanding and we have talked on numerous occasions about this. On the positive side for her, i have been much more willing to experiement and try new things to make her happy and satisfied.


I also think my sensitivity might not be as high because of frequent masterbation and porno. I have completely stopped looking at porno. However I have had difficulties with stopping the masterbation, it is almost like an addiction where I will promise myself I won't do it, but I have a moments relasp and my promise is broken. Leaving me feeling guilty. I have cut back from 6 times a week to 2 or 3. However as far as just touching myself I can rarely get through a day without doing it once or twice.


I know this is a long message, but does anyone have similar experience or advice? thank you

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I have to say that I unfortunately cannot relate as I have only not finished with a girl like 5 times in my life.


And masturbation has never really worked for me. I have tried, oh I have tried it plenty, but just not my cup of tea. Got to have a lady present.


However, one thing that really works for me when you are having a hard time cuming is to ( assuming you do this ) you know when it is really starting to feel good and you kind of flex your muscles down there. Kind of like the flex you feel as you ejaculate? It is basically the same muscle group that you use to hold it in when you really need to pee.


Well when you get to that point and you are starting to tighten up a little bit, try closing your eyes and focusing not on her tits or her face or any part of her body except the feeling of how good it feels to slide in and out of her. Just totally focus on that feeling and nothing else. No pressure, no stress. And while doing this, concentrate on relaxing that muscle group. No tension at all.


Maybe it sounds strange, but if she is in a hurry, or if I am, or if I just cant seem to get into it, this always takes me to the end really quickly.


Worth a try anway

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well i don't know how to relate to this too much(seeing as i'm not a guy) but i have a magazine that had some interesting facts that sort of pertain to this.

if you go to link removed and look around i think it's on the same one.


one was that men in a relationship have a larger urge to masterbate


and another is the more orgasms men have the less he cums but read it for yourself (it's under 12 interesting sex facts and what they mean for you)


and as for trying new things try kama sutra

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  • 9 months later...

I agree with 'Love Her Like Crazy's' post. It sounds like a tension problem. You didnt finish the first couple of times and now you just 'freeze up'.


Relax. Get her to give you a massage. Dont think in sentences, just focus on sensations. This probably won't change overnight, but I think relaxing yourself may help.

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Hi. I'm glad you have an understanding girl. that's great.


From your initial post, i get the idea you may be using masturbating as a stress reliever/calming you down. It sounds a bit compulsive - if you don't feel in control of when and where you decide to masturbate, but feel an almost addictive urge that is hard to fight.


People use masturbation for all sorts of reasons. I think learning new methods of relaxing yourself would help a lot.


happy humping!

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