can't move forward

[Sunshine_gal]

Summary: I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. We lived together, travelled the world together. It was not by any means a smooth relationship. We broke up all the time but I told myself this was because he had been hurt by his previous girlfriend and got scared often (geez, the things we'll tell ourselves). Anyway we broke up and he moved out...and I was...I can't even put into words. But I was very good at not letting others know how hurt I was. I didn't want to date right away b/c I know that rebound things always end up hurting the other person and I didn't want to hurt anyone else. So that's where I am now or so I tell myself. The fact is that we broke up 2 years ago....and I haven't seen anyone since. I'm actually a very attractive person, athletic, intelligent but I am so scared to get hurt again....at the same time, I want to be with someone...has anyone out there been here before??? can you let me know how you got over this hirdle?? Thanks

[plasticheartsandsmiles]

I am in your shoes right now. I haven't been broken up with my ex for two years but I definitely dont want to date anybody and I dont see myself getting over him for at least another year. I think its pretty natural not to be over him just yet...I mean you guys dated for five years. If you've moved past the sadness and depression then I'd honestly say that you're doing okay. The end of a long relationships is totally traumatic and I dont see how someone could really expect you to jump back into the dating pool so easily. I mean goodness FIVE years!

 

I hope that you are doing okay, though. If you don't think you have moved found a healthy state of mind post break up talk to someone about how you're feeling. I wish the very best for you!

[reflectionlessmirror]

You have three options:

1. Get out and date

2. Attempt to get back with him.

3. Stay stuck like you are.

Please choose one.

[ladyluck]

i've sort of been there(but i chose the rebound thing) and i was told it takes half the time you went out to get over it, at least being without that person. time heals all wounds you'll be ok. there's other fish in the sea so to speak

[btbt]

Another option -- do things for yourself. Cultivate relationships with friends and family. You don't need a relationship to make yourself feel better and I applaud you for refraining from getting involved when you know that you are not ready.