I saw her again...

[HellFrost666]

My other post:

link removed

 

Well, my story continues...

 

Last night I went to my friend's house to give him some cds he asked me to copy, and she was there. I honnestly didn't know she would be there when I went over. He had been asking for the cds since last weekend and I figured I'd take care of it while I was out. I walked in and there she was standing in the kitchen looking as beautiful as ever. I could tell by the look on her face that she was a little embarrassed when I walked in, but it seems she also has a little crush on me. The eyes never lie.

 

It was a little awkward being around her at first, but that didn't last long, soon we were all talking having a good time. But, it seems like they invited us both over at the same time on purpose. I was told she had just got there before me. They didn't tell her I would be dropping by...

 

So after hanging out over there for a few hours I gave her a ride home. Her husband was working. (Yea, I'm an idiot, I am prepared to hear that in all your replies.) We sat in her driveway for over an hour. I told her that if things don't work out she needs to call me. I made sure she knew how serious I was too. I wanted to tell her exactly how I feel about her, but I held a lot of things back. When she was getting ready to go inside I hugged her, and (because I couldn't help myself), I kissed her. At first I think she was a little startled because she jumped. Obviously she wasn't expecting it.

 

That is all that happened. I am so confused.

[ladyluck]

well it is indeed a messy ordeal but if she's sleeping around on her husband and he is too and he's hitting her they shouldn't be together. she needs to get a divorce then you two and your relationship will be a lot cleaner. still messy but cleaner

[HellFrost666]

She isn't "sleeping around." She cheated once, with me. He has cheated on her several different times with several different women. He told her to go ahead so they would be even, but I was her first. And like I said before, I was the agressor in it, not her. Just wanted to clear that up.

[Hope75]

Hey Hellfrost,

 

Well, what exactly did you say to her, did you tell her that you are interested but will not pursue it until/unless she leaves her husband?

 

From what you said, although it sounds like she does have some feelings towards you, she feels guilty about the other night. Even though her husband is cheating and invited her to do the same, that doesn't make it right. The right thing to do would be to leave him.

 

I hope you will use good judgement and not get tangled any further in this mess until/unless she decides to leave him.

 

What do you think?

[lady00]

He told her to go ahead so they would be even.

 

These people need to get a divorce. This statement alone is enough to show that her husband hasn't got a clue about what a marriage is supposed to be. They're both cheating on each other so...why on earth are they still together? Bottom line: don't get involved with a married woman. You already have but you don't have to continue. If you want to be with her the you should insist that she gets a divorce...and by the looks of things, both she and her husband really need to get one ASAP, they are clearly not in a functional, loving relationship!

[heloladies21]

If you want to be with her the you should insist that she gets a divorce

 

I disagree with this completely. It's her life and her marriage and she's capable of making her own decisions. She's a big girl now and doesn't need him making her decisions for her.

 

Friend, however this plays out, just remember that she is married and sleeping with another man (you). No matter the reason, it's cheating so it's very possible the same thing would happen to you if you got into a serious relationship with her. Just keep this in the back of your mind and continue to talk to other women in the meantime. You just might find someone without as much baggage and who makes you feel the same way or better and in case she flakes out on you and just goes back to her husband you won't be so broken hearted.

[RandomAdvisor]

Even though her husband is cheating and invited her to do the same, that doesn't make it right. The right thing to do would be to leave him.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. Why are they staying together? Do they have children? Financial entanglements?

[HellFrost666]

I am not going to insist that she leaves him. I have a feeling that will happen anyway in time.

 

If anyone is wondering, yes he does know. From what I understand he was very upset about what she did, (so upset he bit her.) But then he said he can't get too mad about after all the things he has done. He doesn't know who I am though, she didn't tell him.

 

She told me the other night that she is probably going to go stay with her sister for a while. As far as what I said to her, I did tell her I am interested. I told her there is no reason she should be treated like that. I also told her if things don't work out for them to call me.

 

Since we are in the same circle of frinds I know I will see her, that makes it hard. I also think these two frinds of mine are way to amused by the whole thing. Having us both over at the same time the other night was proof of that. They really want the two of us to get together. I hope they don't start to create a bunch of drama over this.

 

Someone said to "talk to other women." Trust me, there is no way I'll find someone who makes me feel better then she does. It's taken me 9 years to find her, and I'm not giving up on her so easily. I'm not waiting around another 9 years either. She woke something up in me that had been asleep for way to long.

 

No, they don't have children. I don't know what the financial situation is like.

 

I am nursing a little hangover this morning, so I'm sorry if this post seems off in any way...

[Hope75]

As far as what I said to her, I did tell her I am interested. I told her there is no reason she should be treated like that. I also told her if things don't work out for them to call me.

 

I think you are wise not to mess with her until/unless she leaves her husband.

 

I understand that you have feelings for her, and it seems as though you are not willing to wait forever, just be cautious and don't compromise yourself by waiting for her if she chooses not to leave her hubby, or tells you she will but won't give a time frame and never follows through.

 

Remember, as wonderful as she is, she is married to someone else, and for whatever reasons, as long as she stays with him, she is choosing him over you, and you deserve someone who will be able to give themselves 100% to you, nothing less.

 

Don't forget yourself in all of this, and how unhealthy it will be to wait for something you can never have, if that ends up being the case.

 

Keep us updated, ok?

[Cynder]

Am i reading this right... he bit her??? Did he bite hard enough to draw blood? If so she needs to be pressing assault charges. I'm not saying hitting her is any better or nicer, but to bite someone...

 

My hubby and I have been in physical fights. They have stopped since we started going to counceling. If he ever bit me I'd knee him.

[HellFrost666]

Yes, he bit her. No blood was drawn, but she has teeth marks on her face. Someone needs to bite him...

[OceanEyes]

I'd try not to get too caught up in wishful thinking. If this woman doesn't leave a man after multiple infidelities and even biting her, what will it take? Some people are addicted to abusive relationships and situations. I'm just saying that it might be wise to look at this from a realistic perspective. If she's not leaving him now, then when?