Did I just get turned down? What do you think?

[RayF]

I was at a bar/resteraunt tonight with a friend. My waitress went to my school and i recognized her right away because I was always attracted to her in a way I couldn't explain. But tonight she looked absoutly amazing.

 

In any case i struck up conversation with her, she mentioned she recognized me from school and even knew what program I was in. She was quite busy but would come back and chat with me a bit every few mins. Like she would go serve a drink and then out of the blue come up and formally introduce herself or find some other reason to talk to me that had nothing to do with waiting my table. I'm not too flirty a guy and don't blatently hit on girls I moreso just make plesent convo and such.

 

But there was good eye contacrt, lots of sliming at me, she touched my arm.

 

Then I couldn't stand it so i had to asdk her out and I'm a shy guy when it comes to girls though i'm told very often many women find me very attractive but I rarely ever take that risk to ask a girl out. So As I payed the bill I said it was nice talking with her, she agreed and said we'd see eachother at school and then I asked if she'd be interested in going for drink sometime...

 

Then she paued for a sec and was like "um, yeah, possibly." I was kinda taken aback by the answer and didn't know whaty that ment or what I should say so sh kinda lingered for a bit, it seemed sort of awkward I was trying to figure out if I should ask her for her number and then she went to wait on her other table.

 

So I don;t know... maybe she was just surprised because i kind off threw it out of nowhere and so soon after just meeting her. Or maybe she just wasn't interested. she does seem somewhat shy and I often see her by herself at school from time to time.

 

I was thinking of going back there sometime and seeing how or if she reacts to me.

 

What do you guys think? Did I get turned down nicely or was she most likley just taken aback?

[QTpie87]

I think you may have taken it bad, maybe she just doesn't wanna go for a drink, maybe she isn't an alcho person or trying to stop you know?

[lisica]

This is a difficult question as there could be all kinds of reasons for her reply, besides the possibility of turning you down nicely. She goes to school + has a job, so she must be very busy - although it is summer holiday now, right? She might have strict parents that do not allow her to do on dates easily. She might have another guy (on her mind). Maybe she already has a bf. Which does not necessarily mean she does not like you. Another possibility is that she was very busy in her working environment when you asked. Maybe one of her co workers was listening and she is not supposed to spend her working time arranging private dates.

 

It seems you will have to go back to that place to find out.

[DropToZero]

"-pause-+ummm+yea+possibility" === turned down

 

She was taken back by it b/c she didn't expect it...see most girls might give you a chance even in this situation because they may think you're nice and let you try and take them out, but you didn't even ask for her number...so forget about it. You can't be shy man, you needed to be flirty and fun...and don't forget, she may have been a friend you'd known from past, but she is still a waitress and she gets most of her money from tips, she's paid to be nice and somewhat flirty...that's what she was hired for. Gotta be careful with waitresses...but they're not bad practice for you if you wanna learn to flirt a little b/c they're forced to be nice to you (b/c of job) lol.

 

If she wanted to tho man, she wouldn't have paused, she would have expected it, but you need to learn to ask for a phone number. I think you need to learn to flirt more too, or just learn period and next time you do that you'll get more of a response like "Yea! that'd be great", and you ask "what's your number?"...and she'd write it down that second. But personally I wouldn't ask for a date, I'd just ask for her number...then call her a couple days later and actually ask for the date, most girls get it by you asking for their number....you're interested...so no need to say "Wanna go out sometime?". Move on tho...sorry man.

[ComputerGuy]

Another thing is that you could have caught her completely off guard and she clammed up. My suggestion is next time you see her, just casually ask her "So you good for that offer of going out for a drink?" or something along those lines and take it from there.

[darkblue]

In the name of all that's holy, be more subtle!

Looking into the future can scare off a girl.

Play it cool.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

lol the easiest word to droptozero is move on she doesnt like u... well maybe she doesnt likeu...

 

but , now take things slowly.. maybe she dont want to rush things or have any responsiblities. maybe she doesnt know u that well yet.. there are several reasons she could do that.. just dont make my mistake and get all of ur feelings out.. the other mistake u dont wanna do is to rush things.. take ur time.. good luck

[JRM]

I think after she said "possibly", you should have asked for her number/email, so that you could "possibly" call her and "possibly" ask her out at another time.

[cichlid]

Yeah, um...she paused and was like um possibly? Dude, not to be mean, but I don't think she likes you in that way. She was just trying to be nice. It's your choice if you want to go after her or not, but IMHO I think it would be a waste of time. Like some have said before be more subtle with your flirting.

 

You said you know her from school. When you are school and if she comes up and starts talking, then again maybe she is interested. But unless she approaches you...forget about her.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

well in either cases.. she likes u or not.. dont chase her..

[koolaidnovel]

I agree with whoever said about waitresses being hired to be friendly...I don't think she's interested.