I am attracted to my best friends boyfriend:(

[mozartchick]

My best friend of two years goes out with this guy that i work with ive been working with him for about three years and basically have had a crush on him since i met him. infact the way my friend met him was through me at a party. to make a long story short now they go out and i still have feelings for him. ive had these feelings long before my best friend and him even met! now i kind of regret that they met. my question is what do i do to ovecome these feelings that i have for him? and would it be a mistake to tell my best friend about it? Please let me know what you think

[SaRaHmArIe8588]

well..does your friend know how you feel about this guy? if she did then that wasnt right of her. if she was truly your best friend then she wouldnt do that to you. a friend of mine did that to me, dated a guy i had a huge crush on and they have been together about 1.5 years. yes, i think you should talk to your friend about how you feel about this because if she sees how you feel about him then it might change how she feels about it, she wouldnt want it to be weird between the two of you because you are best friends. talk to her.

[Hope75]

I don't think it's wise to tell your best friend that you are crushing on her man. You had plenty of opportunity to move in on him before you introduced to two of them, and now he is with her. Telling her will only serve to hurt her feelings, and, understandably, make her wonder why you let them meet in the first place and didn't mention anything about your feelings for him until after they started dating.

 

The amount of time you've had these feelings is irrevelant now because you did not act on them and he now is dating someone, and it's your friend on top of that.

 

Try to accept that you can't have him and when you are at work turn your attention to work matters. I assume you aren't dating right now, what about placing a personals ad online, so you can have the opportunity to meet some new men who are available?

[Amore]

This must be a very difficult situation, but unfortunately, I think it's too late for you. You can talk to your friend and tell her how you feel, but I think she'd probably become very protective of her boyfriend and be afraid that you're trying to steal him away. I see more bad than good arising from telling her, and yes, it would probably be a mistake. You should have told her a while back about your feelings for this guy, but telling her now won't make her break up with him and let you date him (it's not a perfect world, is it?).

 

As for overcoming your feelings, it's difficult to get over a crush, but there are so many great guys out there that would love to meet you, just remember that. Obviously you're going to regret that you didn't make a move on him sooner, but he isn't the only guy in the world, you have to move on and find someone new to crush on instead of waiting around for him (trust me, I've learned that the hard way).

 

You can't change the past, so embrace the future. Forget about this guy, for your sake and your friend's.

[Blackmsmithdave]

im relieved that you want to work round it and not try to split them up like some really silly people i know. As to getting rid of feelings that you have for someone then you just have to try to focu your attention elswhere, every guy has a big flaw, i know.

Laslty if you think that it wont damage the friendship yes tell you friend, what doesnt kill makes you stronger as the saying goes. good luck.