why do you enjoy getting knocked out? (a question I'd like

[sfboi415]

to ask a girl)

 

What is it about a guy's machismo that compels a woman to stay with him, even though he's liable to beat her down severely on one day followed by great sex on the next day? Is a part of her excited that she's with such a strong, tough, manly dude? Ladies, how do you explain this?

 

I plan to work out this summer and be like my cousin..he's big, muscular and has a pretty hot girlfriend. Most people perceive that he's a guy who could whup some serious butt, and it's true..but unknown to other he's very mild-mannered and good-natured..the gentle giant type. And he treats his women like queens. So yeah I can understand with the qualities he has why women are attracted to him. But women who are attracted to the violent abusive types are beyond me. Do you know anyone who is like that?

I went out with a girl whose ex-boyfriend was a thug..(he's unfortunately dead now) and we dated but wound up being friends because I wasn't "exciting" enough. I asked her to explain and so she talked glowingly about her past experiences with her ex-boyfriend. She might've sounded like she enjoyed her time with him, but to me I was actually disgusted that she had let him abuse her.

Now, when I date girls in my neighborhood I almost feel that the guys I'm measuring up to are the tough-as-nails, knock out guys who have a mean streak. Maybe that's the way it is..guys who live for the streets do have a hard edge to them.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts!

[crookster_man]

There is a match for everyone out there. Some people are attracted to danger some people are more sensible. Usually has to do with their upbringing (ie, how their family interacted with each other).

 

The most unattractive thing is trying to be something your not. Keep that in mind the next time you try to pick a fight to impress some girl. Just as many girls are attracted to men who can hold their head high and walk away from a fight as those who go out looking for them.

 

It all comes down to being confident with yourself, which in the end is what is truly attractive. Not being afraid to be yourself. You won't please everyone body... but then again, you only need to please one ;o)

[DropToZero]

It's because they're attracted to them to a point that they don't care what anyone else thinks...'bad' guys are uncontrollable...spontaneous...and as your friend said 'exciting.' Many women like a challenge...admit it or not....not all, just many....and this guy is a challenge to try and tame. These guys are also horribly confident in themselves and don't care what anyone else thinks....so to most girls this confidence shines the moment the guy walks in the room. Most girls don't want a guy who's so shy he 2nd guesses his every sentence and analyzes it to the point wondering if it sounded stupid...I mean...think about it....would you as a guy want you?(k, that sounded weird, but I hope you get it)

 

But like said...most 'bad' guys can be abusive...that's just what I try to get accross to all...attraction's not a choice, that's why women can--or are attracted to 'bad' guys, its just a gut feeling she can't control. Women don't sit around and contemplate and list out the things they like about a guy and compare them....I mean com'on....would you do that with a girl? I mean you see this type of thing every day, an abusive b/f goes to jail, and unless the girl can get enough sense to leave him, she will wait for him to get out of jail to be together again...does that even sound rational?...no

[Hope75]

I was in an abusive relationship for a long time, and I can tell you that I was not attracted to my ex because he presented a tough front. On the contrary he was very kind and gentle at first, and then he gradually became controlling of me, began to break down my self esteem, and eventually, when I felt like nothing and like I couldn't survive without him, nor he without me, he began to beat me. This went on for 5 years.

 

I do know some women who like the "bad boy" type, but those "bad boys" don't always beat their women. I think it has more to do with the woman having low self esteem and not feeling like she deserves better, and the type of men who abuse women look for "target" women like this and know exactly how to read them once they find them.

 

It's truly very sad.

[Lexicon85]

I agree. It usually starts with a nice guy who turns bad because he's become so obsessed and insecure. Then the women who were with him might look for others like him, as it was one way they felt validated.

[armchairshrink]

I'm with crookster-man and Hope75. Women don't like to get beat up; but they are attracted to confidence. So, by the way, are most men.

 

Abusers are attracted to women with low self-esteem; it makes them easier to bully and less likely to leave or fight back. Does your ex seem like she has low self-esteem? I bet that, underneath her desire for 'excitement', she does. A lot of abusers also treat their women like queens, to get them hooked -- before they start beating them. This may be the 'excitement' your ex remembers.

 

Don't let your experience with one woman sour your opinion of the rest of us. I personally think a man is more manly who can walk away from a fight. Quiet confidence and emotional strength are much more appealing than swaggering machismo. And I've never enjoyed being beaten.

 

P.S. If you still plan on asking a girl why she likes to be knocked out, pick one that you don't want to date.

[nottoogreen]

Many if not most women are more loving, they endure more, they are more dedicated and stable, they have more inner strength to hope.

 

Once all self esteem is broken, dependency sets in and the behavior is more like others said.

 

You do not want to match too many attributes of this: link removed

[yeawutever]

I don't really get it either, they must probably be suffering from stockholm syndrome or have very low self-esteem!!!!!!!!

 

[Aurian]

Its because they usually set the ground with a lot of love, trust, respect, showering of attention. They convince the abused that they are head over heels in love with them.

 

Then they withdraw and blame the abused for breaking their love.

 

The abused blames themselves. They begin serving the abuser in order to try win it back. The abuser escalates with more blame, shouting and eventually hitting. They will offer apologies and scraps of love and the abused will stay, hoping to get the illusionary person back. There also comes a point where the abused is simply frightened and thinks it is easier to be hit than to leave and get worse violence.