Strongly disappointed in myself... (Help needed)

[Stinkweed]

hello everyone,

 

Alright, where to begin? Ok, lemme just say that summer's gradually creeping away, and I don't think I'm doing very well in the goals I had set for myself at the beginning... I thought it would be possible, but maybe I'm just a mediocre person aiming too high for what I can do... Oh well.

 

Anyway, I went to the national youth leadership forum on technology for the last 10 days. And I gotta say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And well I also gotta say that even though I didn't learn THAT much about technology and that sort of stuff itself, I learned a lot about ppl (and leadership, I guess, lol). But I was kinda disappointed, cause well, even though I did make some friends, I noticed that there weren't as few girls as I thought there would be, and well, I just guess that it would have been great to talk more to some of them, cause I feel that talking to girls isn't my strongest point most of the time (especially since some of them were cute... plus, you gotta have at least a 3.0 GPA which means the gotta be hard working in a way, I guess...). So, it would have been good to talk to a girl with some of those traits (lol, don't say anything, cause the idea of trying to "start something" wouldn't even cross my mind, cause it was only 10 days long, so plz...), cause I guess that's more like the kind of girl I'd be interested in (of course, I'm looking for more, cause even if those 2 traits were present, there could be other very very very negative traits present as well... oh well, you know what I mean don't you?). And I say that cause every time I'm interested in a girl, I sorta have a hard time talking to her and it would've been good practice (plus, I've posted here a couple of times asking for places where I could meet girls, and ppl in general, and that would've been a good opportunity). And I've been told that confidence is the key, and that ppl should strive to be like James Bond, blah blah, lol, and I guess some ppl do get to be that good on this (like those kid who were hitting on some Faculty advisors, lol. Don't think it's so weird, though, cause some of those "faculty advisors" were only 3-4 years older than some of the kids...). I guess confidence is the one thing I need to succeed not only with girls, but in life itself... And it's something I was trying to obtain this summer by trying to change the stuff that bothers me about myself and that I find despicable, but just won't be able to do it and I just realize that...

 

For the rest, I hope I at least get to accomplish one of the goals I had set for the summer... cause it's kinda sad.... it just sucks... And I hope stuff like that doesn't happen again... I guess I'm just looking for some sort of advice or tips on not giving up (as stupid as it sounds, my stupid self still thinks I can do it despite the odds showing me otherwise...). Best wishes.

[Tried]

Hey bro,

take it easy, don't start thinking like it is some intrinsic characteristic of yours to not meet your goals. It's not. People change all the time and the first step is to genuinly believe that you can. But thats not enough, mind over matter doesnt come that easily. Humans are still creatures of habit and experience. If a person is used to doing something, has fallen into a cycle of feeling or reacting a certainw ay, then it takes active work to change and not just contemplation. Your focus needs to be on getting the kinds of experience you want in now. Even if you are feeling nervous, lazy, or unmotivated you have to set goals for yourself and follow them blindly. often i will set goals for myself at one point believing in them completely, and then when it comes time to actually take action, i logic my way out of them and regret it later. That is why we have to truly have mind over matter, if we are about to take action but start to feel ourself "logicking" our way out of it or just not feeling up to it you must counter it. I think about how i know i will regret it, holding on to that memory of disappointment and knowledge that taking action now is the only way to avoid a worse fate, because i know that deep down inside we have really convinced ourselves that we really DO want more experience with girls, or we really DO want to reach some goal. So it is time to start fighting with your mind WITH your mind hahaha and remember why we make goals in the first place: because at the time of our most critical contemplation we have decided what is best for us knowing well ahead of time that doubt will try and turn the tables when the time comes. After the deed is done we always find that we feel that it was better to have done it despite the outcome then to not have done it at all. To me, its sort of like: better that i live and suffer then not live at all, especially when i have so much to learn from suffering.

Be strong, control your desires as best you can, believe in what makes you happy, and even if you fail EVERY SINGLE TIME do. not. lose. confidence.

Good luck

[Stinkweed]

But I had told myself "no more sitting down and contemplating" and I had taken action, but things don't change... I wanted to get in shape over the summer, cause that is one thing that has bugged me a lot since I was like 10 yrs old. It's not the first time I do this. Last year I also worked out a lot and saw not too many results and then school started and things just got messed up. Then this year, right before summer started, I had promised myself that I would do it and I wouldn't give up and I would do whatever it took, and I worked out every single day for 2 weeks (it would've been more, but then I had to go on a trip...). The trip interrupted my routine, but even then I ate the healthiest I've ever eaten, especially on a trip. When waffles and pancakes was on the menu and all the kids just ate that, I told myself I had this goal to accomplish so I did everything to avoid that kind of food. And I did, but still no results. That's just an example... Things are just messed up for me all the time. What works for others doesn't work for me... I try and I'm still trying hoping... But it's hard not to give up... Even when I was doing this "High intensity training" which is supposed to accelerate your metabolism, blah blah. I thought I finally had it, but I guess I was wrong... I guess that's why I've never been very optimistic in my whole life, cause even when I'm so sure things will go great, they don't.

[Stinkweed]

meh, I don't think I'm getting any more replies on this topic... I guess it's easier to not dare to dream and have no goals, cause in the end, even though you win nothing, there's never any disappointment...