My first girlfriend...

[OneConfusedGuy]

I went to Steamboat Springs, Colorado this last weekend for a wedding. I had a wonderful time out there. And much more so because I met someone!! I am really excited that this has happened. Although I just have a few questions.

 

I am 20

She is 19

 

 

This is my first girlfriend and this is her first boyfriend, we get along great, and the physical attraction is there, but for some reason I don't have that "love" feeling. I've known this girl for about a week now and I have talked with her every day. The first day we met we set out on a porch and talked for hours into the night. The second day she asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend... I was shocked to be honest, but regardless was very excited to say yes! Although now that we have gotten over that initial get to know you phase, our conversations have sort of trailed off. I can't seem to find the right words to say to keep the conversation moving. I want to keep things moving but for some reason I can't. I know she definitely likes me, she took my picture and showed everyone at work and all of her friends the first day she got home, haha. I was flattered to be honest. I know she will be going to college in CU Boulder, which is about a 45 minute drive from where I live. This being my first girlfriend, do you think this is a good idea? Could this be the factor that is causing me not to be as infatuated as she is with me? Thank you in advanced!

[dizzy_bruce]

Congratulations on getting your first girlfriend!!

 

It's good that you are both physically attracted to one another, but that's only half the story.

 

I reckon that conversation is the lifeblood of a relationship - if there is none left, then there is no real relationship.

 

Um but don't panic! I don't think it's uncommon to run out of things to say after the initial getting to know each other part. Once your girlfriend knows about you, you have to have more intimate conversations. That means confiding in her and telling her more personal stuff (but only stuff she's gonna find interesting!).

 

I know that's a bit vague, but I'm not exactly a chatterbox myself. All I know is that if it's a real effort to talk to your girlfriend, maybe she's not right for you.

 

p.s. the distance thingy could be alot worse - so long as you build up a good relationship with this girl before she leaves, you'll be fine.

[Midgi]

Sometimes it takes a little bit longer for the butterflies to appear. You discover after a while things about the other which you learn to love.

 

I had a relationship where it was hard to keep a conversation going. But concentrate on what you have and not on what you dont have.

 

You have only known her for a week and I am sure you will find more things in common.

 

Concerning the distance, I would not worry about it. 45min drive is nothing in respect to today's mobile society.

 

Good Luck

 

x

[Tried]

Chin up boyo,

If you feel that the lack of talking in your relationship somehow makes it... less. Then it will be less, but if both sides really don't mind and consider that you are both new to relationships so why would either of you be experts at prolongued prattle, then its nothing to worry about. I personally feel that it is very common for there to be a stage early in a relationship where there is very little said. It takes time and experience to be comfortable enough around someone to sometimes just let yourself think, or just let yourself say anything. Also a relationship isn't such an absolute thing that every person feels infatuated at the same time to the same degree. There is perfect potential for you to get to know this girl better and for you to discover that she is much more then you think. OR for you to come to appreciate what you already know in a different manner. If you feel that the relationship is uneven in some way or lacking, i would say that you are both new to the game and no matter what don't be too absolute about anything, be open to possibilities that your notions may not be the most helpful all the time, and most of all be ready to learn learn learn from this great event: your first relationship. May good luck be all up in your grill

[OneConfusedGuy]

Alright! Thanks everyone. Tried, that makes perfect sense (it takes time and experience to be comfortable enough around someone to sometimes just let yourself think) I am very excited about this first relationship! Midgi thanks for bringing that to view. I'm sure I will find things to love about her, and I will definitely concentrate on what I have at hand. Bruce, is it just something that you both mutally know when to bring up personal stuff? And I will definitely have a strong relationship with her before I leave.

 

Thank you everyone!