My ex hates me again after starting to become friends

[settinuplife]

Maybe some of you can figure this one out.

 

My ex wanted me to come see her at her job (porn store) to see her puppy again, (obviously and excuse to get me up there). So I say I guess I can drop by on my to a friends house. I go in and her boyfriend is there too (he works there as well). Well the whole time I'm there she shows me around, and kind of flirts with me and stands very close to me the whole time.

 

I don't know why she wanted me to come up there, sometimes I think it is to show me off to her boyfriend, I am very nice looking and her new boyfriend is not very nice looking, even though he is very nice.

 

So I buy something while I'm there, some lube actually. I just figured, why not. Anyways her boyfriend gave me my ex's employee discount of 20%. I then leave.

 

The next day my ex calls and acts normal wondering what I'm doing, and I tell her I'm going out of town by myself on a mini vacation because I couldn't find any one to go with. She says "you didn't ask me." I don't know if she was being serious (probably not because her boyfriend was with her). I told her I was going to some clubs and to shop. Later as I'm driving my ex calls my cell phone and just rips me a new ***hole saying I did not thank her boyfriend for giving me the 20% off, but instead I rolled my eyes at him. I told her I must have subconsiously rolled my eyes because I kind of remember doing it. Anyways she goes off on me saying that not everyone is as lucky as me with life and that I shouldn't look down upon others when they work in a porn store and that her boyfriend was nice enough to give me the discount and I just rolled my eyes at him. I apoligized and said I never looked down upon him or anyone.

 

She was upset and have not heard from her since, that was 2 days ago.

Why didn't she rip me a new ***hole when I was talking to her before, when I was telling her I was going out of town? Why did she wait till I was driving?

 

Does anyone know what she's doing here with the whole wanting me to come to her work in front of her man, then chewing me out later for the eye roll. I feel like she was waiting for me to screw up?

[bellamcb]

She's using any excuse she can to make contact with you. And, by getting angry and starting a fight, she's trying to get you to react and say something.

 

I would stay far, far away from her. She sounds beneath you.

[settinuplife]

How does she want me to react, and what does she want me to say? Does she want me to go off on her, how would that be good?

[bellamcb]

It sounds like she just wants attention and as I said before, I would stay away from that. She could very easily just be bored. Or, as many do, just trying to get you to react because you're so comfortable with the breakup. That doesn't mean, at all, that she is interested in getting back together. Many people (particularly in certain age groups and I don't know how old you are) tend to keep those they've broken up with close because they need the constant validation. Her actions could have absolutely nothing to do with how she feels for you. If you're in your teens or early twenties, I would guess that is in fact the case.

[settinuplife]

So basically she wants me to show her that I have feelings for her if she wants me to react. There's no way I would do that after everything I've read on enotalone! I want her to think I'm over her. By the way I am 26 and she is 21. Why would she need constant validation when she is supposedly happy with someone else? If I was truly in love with someone else I wouldn't give a hoot about my ex's or trying to get them to react to stuff.

[bellamcb]

She needs constant validation because it makes her feel more secure. What's better than one man who wants you? Two men that want you.

 

You sound like you're over it and don't need to deal with her at all. So don't. Just focus on you and your relationship. You sound like a great guy and you don't need to be distracted by this immature stuff (she will grow out of it....just may take several years).

[settinuplife]

Thanks Bellamcb, still sounds like she is afraid her relationship won't work out that is why she needs validation from other ex's to feel secure? Am I wrong? She is not calling me now after calling everyday for the past week. I kind of hope she doesnt call me.

[bellamcb]

You can't predict when she will or won't call you because it depends on so many factors: her mood, her relationship (are the getting along or aren't they at the moment?), her sense of self, her security with her friends.....all kinds of things.

 

Honestly, I would just end it. You are better off!

[Laughing Sam]

She didn't rip you a new one on the first occasion because the b/f wasn't standing next to her. Think back......... what attracted you to her, how did it finish, why did she choose him instead of you.......... this porn store queen ain't finished with you yet.

[settinuplife]

Not finished with me? I don't know why she choose him over me at all, it just baffles me! I think she just likes to throw her boyfriend in my face.