Confused about why I am so unhappy

[bridget74]

I broke up with my bf of about a year and a half two weeks ago. I had been feeling unhappy, and cheated, and then decided I could not stay with him after sleeping with someone else. When breaking up, and giving all the other reasons, he got me to admit I cheated. He was very unhappy, and was unsure of what he wanted to do, but I continued to go over to his house as usual (usually stay over most nights of the week), but he was very distant. finally, the last time we spoke, as I was trying to discuss whether this was worth trying to work out, in frustration, i told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore, and hung up. That was the last time I talked to him. When I said it I didn't mean it to be permanent, but since he didnt' call me, I decided, that just ending it would be easier. In the meantime, I have slept with this person again, and started to initiate some contact with him, although, I dont' think I am really ready for a relationship. Anyway, I really miss my ex tonight, and can't stop thinking about what an idiot I am or what to do. I called him, and left him a message, and then sent an email, apologizing again for everything and how he did not deserve to be mistreated by me cheating. I am the one who wanted this to end, so why am I so unhappy? I just feel really confused I guess and I dont' know what to do.

[btbt]

Sounds like you are feeling loss -- even though you wanted to end the relationship, you're emotions have to readjust and such.

[Swimbaby]

I know exactly how you are feeling. A little over a year ago I broke up with my boyfriend (whom id been seeing for over a year). I had cheated on him on a vacation (ugh, stupid, i know) and told him when I returned. Stupidly, I thought things would work out with the kid I had hooked up wtih, so I dumped the love of my life. I really don't know why I cheated on my boyfriend. It's something I look down upon, yet I fell victim to doing it. Our relationship had been declining and I suppose I didn't feel like I was getting the gratification that I had deserved.

 

Anyway, to this day I still feel guilt, loss, regret, and forlorn. I don't know if the pain will ever go away. Like you, I didn't talk to my boyfriend. When I finally decided to try and talk to him, it was too late. I had hurt him so bad, there was no way it could be fixed or even slightly mended.

 

My advice to you is this: Call your ex before its too late. Talk to him and explain what your feeling. If you want to get back together with him, explain what you were feeling when you decided to sleep with someone else. In addition (or if you just want closer (sp?) ), then discuss with him how he's feeling, too. You don't want to always wonder "what if..." (trust me on this one)

 

Hope this helps

[bellamcb]

Agree. It sounds like you're feeling a loss and also sounds like you're feeling lonely. It's always difficult to readjust to being alone and because you're alone tonight, you miss your ex. Try doing things to get your mind off anyone for now. You'll get through it.

[Cecelius]

Why are you unhappy?

 

-Cheated on your b/f

-Told him (instead of just breaking up) and wounded him

-Engaged in overtortured break up

-Are not leaving him or yourself in peace to get past this

 

My guess is that you are feeling guilty.