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i am feeling really discouraged with the whole dating scene. it seems like every time i go out, to parties, bars, anywhere, guys flock to my friends and i always feel invisible. the thing is, i dont have low self esteem- i know i am smart, cute, funny, blah blah. i really genuinely feel like im a good catch. im friendly and sweet, so i dont think its that guys are scared of me. so why is it that guys never approach me but they have no problem approaching my friends? my roommate seriously has like, 8 guys interested in her at a time, calling her, emailing, iming. i have nobody. i go out just as much as she does. i know its not good to compare or to be jealous. im just having a rough day and all this stuff really is bothering me at the moment. uuughhh. im sorry to complain, i just figured this would be a good place to vent. anyone understand how im feeling?

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Lots and Lots and Lots of girls have the same problems.


As a guy i know that 'Nice guys finish last'.


Don't get down about it.


You sound like a really nice girl, eventually you'll find a really nice guy to compliment that


Just be yourself.


Don't be so hard on yourself.


Get out there and meet people. They're waiting

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Maybe you don't appear as approachable as the other girls for some reason? I don't know. If I meet a group of girls (rarely do but have done it before) then if a girl just isn't smiling at all, looking down (b/c of shyness or self-esteem), and just not appearing that confident, then I probably won't pay as much attention to her. This would be because I can never tell whether she is just shy or not wanting to talk to me for whatever reason. Just be happy and confident and they will start flocking to you. Look your best as always.

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It may have something to do with your attitude. If you are too self confident (thats good), but show yourself as extremely self confident (that's bad), you'll scare guys away.


As for your rommate, too many variables. Maybe she looks like an easy catch or easy to get laid, that attracts lots of guys.

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Well yeah too much confidence can be a little intimidating too. But too little can also be unattractive to me. I don't want to talk to some girl who seems to not be as tuned into the conversation and is showing signs of uneasiness.

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you ever think that they guys don't think they are good enough for you? or have you ever seen a beautiful mind, the whole thought process is around a guy having a chance of getting laid. im not saying that about every guy of course, and im not saying your friends aren't as pretty as you, but its just other things to think about. don't be discouraged there are plenty of guys out there who are sweet jus like you, and will treat you like a doll.

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[...] anyone understand how im feeling?


I am not usually approached by guys either. So I decided to look at the possible reasons why this was happening to me.One of the reasons I believe this was happening, was the fact I would present a respond look on my face of why are you staring at me, 8-[ because I think I am not up to my standards of attractiveness (due to my ance). So I was partially responsible for discouraging that person to come and talk to me (at that moment). However, I would try another approach and still they would not find the courage to come over to make conversation with me. So I do relate to you somewhat, by me wanting men to take the steps to show interest in me.

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One question on your friend having all those guys interested in her: is she in a real, serious, committed relationship? Or is she dating lots of guys but still lonely cause she hasn't met the right one?


Chances are your the girl that doesn't get all the dates, but when you do they are with good guys and turn into good relationships. Do you really want to be bothered by a bunch of pesky guys who don't know when enough is enough? Or would you prefer just one guy who will take the time to get to know the real you?


You will meet someone, and when you do it will be better then you imagine. Personally, I find that the girls guys seem to flock to aren't that attractive. It's the other girls that often go unnoticed that are the real finds, the diamonds just waiting to be found.

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What are your friends' attitudes, personalities, demeanor like when you guys are all out? Maybe you are projecting a bad vibe and are not realizing it? Do your girls friends play it up and bit? Flirting excessively, coming on to guys more, putting out easily, etc.?


ShyShoul asked a good question about whether or not your friends are having REAL relationships?


I've gone to bars and clubs and seen tons of girls like this play it up and say they can get any guy that they want. Hell, throw a club, music, horny guys and booze in the mix and what do you expect? The true question is whether they can sustain relationships? Do they even know what a real, adult commited relationship is? I've had female friends like your tell me that they really aren't happy that they've found the one, yet they feel compelled to not be alone so they'd rather play it up than be alone.


My feeling is that you are probably the better choice out of all of them.

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I've had female friends like your tell me that they really aren't happy that they've found the one, yet they feel compelled to not be alone so they'd rather play it up than be alone


The grass is always greener...


Just because someone appears to be having a great and doing well on the dating scene, doesn't mean they are. They have problems too and could be just as lonely as you. Which is why the most important thing is to be confident with yourself and enjoy just being who you are.


My feeling is that you are probably the better choice out of all of them.


Me too.

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thanks for all your responses, really, they were very sweet and helped me have a new perspective on this whole dating scene. i got out of a very serious relationship a few months ago, so the whole dating scene is new and SCARY! but youre totally right- my friends that get approached alot by guys arent really getting relationships, just alot of phonecalls that seem to dwindle off after a week or 2.


again, thanks for your support, it means alot to me

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