I Give Up. It's All a Game, Apparently.

[marigot]

And men wonder why women analyze stuff to death. It's because nothing makes sense!

 

I had a great first date with a guy last Thursday. Lots of chemistry. Fun. He walks me home. Gives me an unexpected kiss in front of my apt (not just a peck on the lips). He was going away for the long holiday weekend to his family's place out of state. He said he would call me when he got back. Told me to have a nice weekend.

 

Late yesterday afternoon, I got an email from him. Really brightened my day. He just asked me how my 4th was. I sent him a reply email.

 

He has a computer at home AND at work. He's at work today. I saw that he was on Yahoo in the past 24 hours. He has NOT returned my email!!!!

 

If he's not interested, then why on earth did he bother to email me?! I don't expect a person to respond right away or even a few hours later cause we have crap to do in our lives but what gives?

 

Any insight, guys?!!

[arwen]

First of all, 24 hours is not that long. You just had a first date.

 

Second of all, what did you e-mail him back?

 

Take a breath, and give him the time to do so too. He might be hungover from partying late. Did he tell you about his plans for 4th July night? If that is a party night?

 

Ilse.

[DropToZero]

LoL calm down...wow its only been a day, and people can be online...but away from their computer...you know?

 

Just keep doing what you've been doing, it'll be fine....he will contact you again. Just stop thinking so much and go relax, stop checkin your email every hour too lol(b/c that's probably what you're doing...I presume).

[Meow18]

He might just have a lot to do at work at the moment. I'm sure he's checked his emails to see if you have sent a reply to his email, but maybe he doesn't have time to write one back just yet.

 

I know that sometimes when I know my boyfriend is going to email me, I'll get anxious and check like every hour. But I always end up getting one sooner or later. But even when I do get it, sometimes I don't have time to write back right away.

 

I would say don't worry about it. And give it a little time.

[btbt]

Yeah, just play it cool. In the meantime, don't obsess over him or stalk his e-mail. Keep yourself busy!

[fate or freewill]

Maybe he just dosen't want to seem to eager or needy.

 

When I first begin to date someone, I will only see them or talk a few times a week, theirs plenty of time to get to know someone, but once you get into calling and talking everyday, you take it to a whole new level. That should be done only after several dates over a few months I think.

[Mun]

Whatever you do, do not send a followup email or call him UNTIL he contacts you again.

 

I agree with the others that it's a bit soon to start panicking.

[marigot]

I won't contact him. That's for sure.

 

Well, it's now Wednesday morning and still not a word. I saw (again) that he was on Yahoo last night so he was on the computer.

 

Honestly, would a guy email you for no reason? My response back to him was upbeat and casual. Just telling him what I did over the long weekend and asking him about what he did. Nothing sarcastic, snotty, ... nothing.

 

I am completely baffled. What could be wrong?

[btbt]

You didn't do anything wrong. It's the luck of the draw. He might like to take it slow, he might have changed his mind, who knows? Just chill and see what happens. Let him come to you. If he doesn't, then on to the next one!

[bridget74]

Who knows? It could be he is trying to keep his cool, or maybe he got back with the ex? The reason is probaly something really simple.

[ves]

I read somewhere (probably in Glamour) a long time ago that Guy Time is really different than Girl Time. For example, for a guy just starting to date someone, not speaking for three weeks is nothing, but for a girl it's like a year. And then when he calls after three weeks like nothing's wrong and it's completely normal, the girl having already mourned the premature end of a potential relationship and moved on, is baffled by the resurrection of a date.

 

I definitely know how you feel. I'm currently playing a cat and mouse contact game with a guy (Him: "I'll call you tonight if I get out early, or maybe tomorrow" Me: "Great, talk to you later" Clock: One week later Me: "HE HATES ME AND IS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF ME POLITELY AUUUUGGGGHHH" in car and drives by his house to make sure he hasn't moved: ) Rein in the obsessing and go do something that will distract you. Let him miss you. And conference with friends over the best excuse to give him a call in a week or so.