feeling betrayed

[misslonelyheart]

Feeling pretty bad at the moment.

 

Have constant thoughts of my ex with someone else and it hurts too much.

 

I know that people will say don't think about it but it is not that easy. Even when I am occupied with other things, these thoughts creep in.

 

I am finding it hard to cope with the feelings of betrayal that, after 4.5 years together, I can be so easily replaced and forgotten.

 

I also have a friend who is a friend of the ex who I thought was there for me but I now think has chosen to stay more a friend to the ex.

He would always check up on me, see how I was doing, ask me out for drinks and generally look out for me after the split but I have heard nothing from him in nearly two months now but I know that he has seen my ex on several occasions.

 

The three of us used to go out a lot as we were all really close, good friends and I now feel that a new group of 3 has been formed with the new girlfriend and I have been pushed out, not only from my ex's life but now from the life of the one good friend I thought I had. It is like everyone else's lives have carried on as normal but with someone else sitting in my place, whilst my life has fallen apart.

 

I cannot even describe how much it hurts to feel this forgotten and left behind. To be this easily replaced in their affections and lives, I feel like I never really mattered to anyone.

 

It is so hard to know that nobody loves, cares about, thinks about, worries about or needs me anymore. I am not important to anyone.

 

How do you deal with that?

[tman]

It is so hard to know that nobody loves, cares about, thinks about, worries about or needs me anymore. I am not important to anyone.

 

That obviously is not true, and you have to get out of that way of thinking. For your information I have been thinking of you and your situation I have noticed that you havent been on the forum for ages), and actually care and hope that things had been getting better for you.

 

I have valued the input and advice that you have given to my situation in the past and have actually been looking out for some more advice from you.

 

Like I have said to you before and advice given to me on numerous occasions,... this is your time and to get over this situation, no matter how bad it is is to keep your head up, improve yourself, show them you have the strength to get on without them and seek the comfort of your family and friends. ( I am being a little hypocritical cos i have not been following my own advice lately in this area...but thats another story)

 

For now to hell with what they do, and make yourself happy.

 

(I am no expert on this type of thing and admit am really crap at giving advice but any time you need to talk or vent I am here to at least listen (pm me if you want) and i am sure the other guys here at enotalone will also be there for you. Its the name of the site after all. So dont feel alone).

[OhioHeartBroken]

Hey Misslonelyheart,

 

I have to agree with Tman. Take this time to improve yourself. Get out there and do things that you have always wanted to do. Seek out family and friends who will be supportive. It helps A LOT! Also don't count anyone out because that love and support you are looking for can come from unexpected places. Believe it or not some of the people that are giving me the most support right now are my ex's family (although I think it is an exception in my case). There is always someone out there who cares for you even if you can't see it.

 

I felt the same as you just a few short weeks ago. In these situations you truly learn who your true friends are and who is not. I had to let go of some friends who both me and my ex knew from high school but they chose her over me. I too felt worthless and unloved but I started rekindling old frienships with people I had not seen in a while. I got a new job, I got the tattoo I always wanted to get and I have always wanted a motorcycle so that is next on my list. I feel so much better about myself and where I am now independently.

 

Just hang in there and remember that we are all here if you need to vent or need support!

[misslonelyheart]

Thanks Tman, OhioHeartBroken,

 

Just having one of those bad days! I am sure you know what I am talking about. Feel better today.

 

It is weird to think that I am not the centre of someone's world anymore and I don't mean that in an arrogant sense, I mean in being the most important person in someones life, so you know that they love you and think about you.

 

I am sure lots of people feel that way but it makes me feel somehow detached from the world a bit if that makes any sense.

 

Tman, I have been thinking about you too. What is the lastest? Has she asked for the money again yet? are you any closer to getting back together? I hope you are still playing it cool!!

 

Haven't seen nor spoken to my ex for 3.5 months now but I had to email him about some financial stuff which I sorted and that's that. He asked me for my mobile number but I didn't get my hopes up that he wanted it to contact me - I think he only wants it so he wont get a shock answering an unknown number and find it was me!! not that I will ever ring him anyway - I haven't tried to and haven't wanted to contact him at all for months (apart from the necessary) and I still don't - so I must be doing ok!!

[tman]

Hey Missy!!

 

Good to hear you are doing better. I guess part of the process is overcoming whatever hurdles that may arise as time progresses,and we will inevitably have our fair share of good and bad days. But trust me you will feel much better in time.

 

Its good to see that you are still going strong with nc.... and 3.5 months..., wow thats some time, for me that was when it started to become a lot easier in some ways.

 

My situation? check my thread out

 

link removed

 

I have not really been "playing it cool", and have had a flurry of events take place in the past couple of weeks which admittedly I could have handled a lot better.

 

But thankfully with some verbal slaps from a few of the guys here on the site Iam back on track.

 

Stay on top of things my dear. Tman