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Ive been with my girlfriend for 17 months now. However, after 5 months she had to leave for work. for 10 months she was not living in the same city as me - of which 6 months we were not in the same country. she returned 2 months ago I am currently wondering if its still what i want, for just one reason - that i dont know if its love. Why dont i know? because im not sure i know what love is.


Ive seen people say that love is about caring about your partner, doing anything to make them happy. If this is true, then i do love her. I care about her feelings so much, it hurts me when i think she is not happy. I also feel like im myself with her, very comfortable.


However i have alway thought love is that intense emotional feeling you get for people that you just cant explain, that isnt just lust. If this is love then im not sure i do love her, because those feeling are few and far between and not always as strong as i would like- for example only resurfaceing when i meet her after not seeing for a week. And people say that if you have to ask yourself then you are not in love.


I recently realised i had this dilema when, in the heat of the moment, a week ago i said i loved her. but this has triggered this confursion as to whether i really do.


We have booked a holiday for a couple of months from now, and i feel scared that its not right to carry on and go away when im not sure about things. Ive never kept anything from her, and i dont want to start now - but how can i tell her all this without wrecking things and sowing the seeds of doubt in her mind.


I need 2 answers before i go truly mad...


Is it love? And should i know if it is by now or not, having spent only 7 months in the same city.


should i discuss it with her? she is on holiday and i see her again in a week.



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Only you know if you really love her, unfortunately no one else can dive into your soul and give you those answers. That overwhelming feeling that you get when you see her after a period of time apart... that isn't necessarily what love feels like, as I too get that heart pounding joy when I haven't seen my bf for a while. If I felt like that all the time, I think I'd explode.


Love is more of the day to day thing.... thinking about her puts a smile on your face, you're comfortable being with her... just being with her (not sexually, just being in her physical presense is comforting), you can talk to her about anything - or nothing. In addition, you should be able to see a future with the two of you together, not necessarily forever, but this should feel like more than just a fling.


As to whether you should talk to her? Without a doubt. Part of love is being able to have this sort of conversation. It sounds to me like you do love her but you are a bit nervous as well as bombarded with the Hollywood definition of love. It's not always butterfies and rainbows, its much more subtle.


Good Luck!!

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