Is this possible of a friend of mine?

[lightn]

Is this possible that my female friend who cuts my hair and I have known here for almost a year. She has been dating her boyfriend of 3 years. She is at the point of wanting to get married but it seems that he does not get the hint. She has even mentioned to him in sudden ways. He works all the time like on the farm etc. She does love him but now when she goes on a cruise in August she will tell him that he needs to think this through and when she does get back she will not call him that he has to call her. She is tired of waiting and she has put herself all out and he is not returning it. He did not even show up for her bday party but she has at times waited for him at his house. All her friends thought now she would have been married by now she has not. She is 31 and he is 38.

 

She has confided in me on things with issues and will never mentioned to her boyfriend in which I appreciate it. It seems I know everything about her. She has confided in me that a guy sent her flowers but she is scared about having those butteflies with this person. So that is when I mentioned to her she does not need to put her eggs in one basket and she should date and see what is out there. She said if it happens of the breakup that she will be crying etc and that she will then want to have fun so she is not on a rebound thing.

 

She has told me that she wants someone who will give her attention and that is into her. I told her I would like to date her and told her to think about it if and when it does happen in August. She said she knows that and she will let me know. I am not getting my hopes to high either. I mean when I leave she will hug me or I will hug her but it is a long hug. She even says Thank you for driving a long way to see her to get my haircut.

 

She has even stated she does not care if the guy has lots of money or their looks just that she wants to be number 1 like that she wants someone who rushes home to see her and hold her, you know the emmotional thing. Trust me the things she has told me on what she does for this guy is unbelievable.

I can truly relate to her and for me I would not mind holding a woman into my arms and that would be good enough for me.

 

So is this possible for her to confide in me so much that is this possible that this can happen between me and her of possible more or not?

[reflectionlessmirror]

It is a tricky situatuation though because she is still envolved with him. It appears you have let her know where you stand (Interested in her) and that is good. Now, unfortuatnley you have to wait until August and see waht happens after this cruise. Waiting will be the hard part, but you must.

[lightn]

reflectionlessmirror wrote:

It is a tricky situatuation though because she is still envolved with him. It appears you have let her know where you stand (Interested in her) and that is good. Now, unfortuatnley you have to wait until August and see waht happens after this cruise. Waiting will be the hard part, but you must.

 

Thanks for your response but yes I know I have to wait. Again I am hardly getting my hopes too high on it either. If it happens great if not then that is ok also. IT is ashame that this guy cannot see what a great woman she is and don't know what he is waiting for. Sure he has said when they get married will be building a house etc. but she has waited and she feels it is long enough.

 

But again thanks for your response.

[reflectionlessmirror]

Good! IF your hopes arent to high then you wont get hurt, but having hope itself is great. It is great that she knows waht she wants! Alot of women dotn know what they want. She has told you what she wants, be prepared that if you two do begin an relationship you can offer that to her (getting married!) I think you have a fighting chance. This guy she is with now sounds like a jerk. Good luck!

[Shidoshi]

Again I am hardly getting my hopes too high on it either. If it happens great if not then that is ok also.

If this IS true (which I have some doubt about, but I have to take your word) then you won't be too hurt, but.....

 

I have to say, things aren't looking like they will change between you two. I know the whole "friends before lovers" angle and it RARELY ever works. It's one thing to become friends with a girl while "flirting" with her, but if she's been confiding in you and talking about relationship problems you may be stuck as just a friend. Women are funny like that. Some of them will even flirt with you to get your attention but they don't want things to progress beyond that.

 

She talks about "guy" problems with you, you told her how you felt about her (I'm sure she probably knew already), and you told her to "think about it" as if you're going to be waiting around for her. Looks like you may be stuck in the "friends zone."

[lightn]

Shidosh wrote:

 

If this IS true (which I have some doubt about, but I have to take your word) then you won't be too hurt, but.....

 

Well that is your opinion if you have some doubt.

 

I have to say, things aren't looking like they will change between you two. I know the whole "friends before lovers" angle and it RARELY ever works. It's one thing to become friends with a girl while "flirting" with her, but if she's been confiding in you and talking about relationship problems you may be stuck as just a friend. Women are funny like that. Some of them will even flirt with you to get your attention but they don't want things to progress beyond that. 

 

Well again if it does not happen oh well. She knows how I feel. She even stated a few times that she would like to date me. Again right now I don" even feel it is going to happen at all because I am still stuck on my ex and she knows that, but again anything can happen.

[Shidoshi]

She even stated a few times that she would like to date me.

Let me guess, you have to wait though right?

She has even stated she does not care if the guy has lots of money or their looks just that she wants to be number 1 like that she wants someone who rushes home to see her and hold her, you know the emmotional thing.

You know they all say that right, but then look at who they end up with, or desire.

 

Look I'm not trying to bust balls here, but you make it seem like it's just "whatever" and you don't care either way, but I don't think you'd be posting about it if you really felt that way. Don't get me wrong, if you trully don't care that much then more power to you. I'm merely just stating that given the discussions you've had with this woman things don't look as if they will change into a more romantic relationship.

 

Lets say she actually does leave this guy then starts dating you, how long do you think it would last? She already knows that you're "waiting" for her so you're not really starting off on equal ground, and you don't present any challenge.

 

I'm not saying you "should" agree with me, I'm just asking that you "ponder" these thoughts, that's all.

[lightn]

"Shidoshi wrote:

 

You know they all say that right, but then look at who they end up with, or desire.

 

Well yes that is true some of the times, but since I have known here she has mentioned that so many times. She has her own house and also very independent so money is not a factor but looks could be but again she mentioned is too, it is more of the emotional thing.

 

Look I'm not trying to bust balls here, but you make it seem like it's just "whatever" and you don't care either way, but I don't think you'd be posting about it if you really felt that way. Don't get me wrong, if you trully don't care that much then more power to you. I'm merely just stating that given the discussions you've had with this woman things don't look as if they will change into a more romantic relationship.

 

Yes you are trying to bust my balls here. I am just trying to get other peoples opinion to see. Geez, it seems to me that you are stating that I should not have posted this??

 

Lets say she actually does leave this guy then starts dating you, how long do you think it would last? She already knows that you're "waiting" for her so you're not really starting off on equal ground, and you don't present any challenge.

 

No, she does not know I am not waiting and I am not waiting. Again right now I am still stuck on my ex, but if it happened between us great but if not oh well. So you think that I don;t present a challenge. Why because I am too of a nice guy, yeah I know nice guys finish last. To me that is what I am picking up.