friends but wish 4 more

[kwl_sk8er_boi]

okay I like this girl but she doesn't know I like her. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to tell her that I wish we where more then friends because she is in a relationship with a guy and I had a chance to tell her once because she use to like me that way but back then I didn't feel this way, as I got to know her I slowly liked her more and more. If I tell her how I feel I don't know how she will react, I'm scared that if I tell her things will change and we might not be such good friends any more but if I don't tell her I'm scared she will never know how I feel and I'll be left wondering what could have been. I've tried hinting but she could nto figure it out or maybe she did and just didn't say any thing. Do you think I'm doing the right thing but not telling her that I want to be more?

[Mr. Cactus]

You might like to spend some time looking at old posts here, as this situation comes up quite often. That said, everybody probably has a different perspective on what the best thing is to do.

 

My personal take on situations such as this is as follows: I don't want to grow old knowing that I had feelings for someone and failed to follow up on those feelings. All I will ever do in later life is say to myself "if only..." and wonder what could have been. For me, the fear of this is much greater than the fear of losing a friend. Because qute simply, if I lose the friend, then I at least know it is almost certain I was not destined to have a relationship with them.

 

Personally I have lost two wonderful friendships in the last 12 months because I had feelings for my two female friends (not at the same time of course!!!). Yes, I miss one of them in particular who I felt was a soulmate and I am still deeply in love with her, but we do not speak anymore. I should add though it was my decision to leave because I could not handle such an unbalanced relationship - where I was hoping and expecting more.

 

Do I regret my decision? Well, even though I have no friends at all now, no I don't. At least when I am 80 years old I can look back with pride that I at least tried. Better than a lifetime of wondering whether I could have actually had a relationship with someone I loved or not. It just seems such a waste of life not to try and take the risk.

[whatdoyado]

I'm in a very similar situation with this guy and the best way I can put it is...think of this the opposite way, wouldn't you want to know if she liked you? Most people will tell you go n' tell her...wait didn't you say you did. Bring it up again let her no your still there. where just as slow as you guys are at this game.

[heloladies21]

Have a talk with her and let her know you're interested in her in a romantic way and don't be subtle. If she bites, then great. If not, cut her loose because this is time you could be using to find someone else. And if you keep being her friend, she'll never become interested in you. I've never seen it work. I have seen lots of guys just be friends with a girl in the hope that one day she would wake up and be madly in love with them. It never happens.

[darkblue]

If you feel like it's too much to lose.. Don't.

 

If it is driving you crazy then, tell her.

 

If yous are really good friends then you'll be able to talk it through. But matters of the heart are complicated.

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The friendship that can cease, was never real.