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To quote drunk Rachel from 'Friends'


And that my friend, is what you call clooosure!



(He left me)

I have been having a lot of issues with getting my ex to pick up his stuff and pay me some past due rent he owed. We finally agreed earlier in the week on a time he would have it done by, and that he would pay me some storage for having neglected it so long. He said he would put a check in the mail that day. We have had a fairly amicable break-up, I haven't known really why he left, but love him and missed him, and hoped we might be able to work things out later. I even went so far as to ask if he would mind if I contacted him to say hi down the road at some point, just to try and leave the door open a tiny crack.

So last night I got the check, I was so pissed! It was for half the amount we had discussed. This pushed my buttons in a big way because for all of 3 years we lived together, there were only about 4 or 5 times he paid his share of the rent on time, in full. So I carried him, but would be broke the day after payday. He would have money that weekend to go out with his buds and get a beer, but I was left sitting home without enough in my account to even get a Starbucks.

So I e-mailed him this morning about it and we got into a major e-mail blowout!! Too long to write out all of it, but I'll give you the highlights. It was so ridiculous I was actually laughing when I sent my last reply. Wow do I feel better--I even printed the emails off to take home, so me and my girlfriends can giggle over them.


Me---blah blah--Your check was insulting--it's really too bad that up until the very last minute you have to short pay what you owe, and pay it whenever you feel like it. I have bent over backwards to make this whole process easier on you, but not anymore. Pick up your stuff on Tuesday and leave me a check for the balance due. And you can forget about hearing from me in the future, this last kick in the teeth seems to have knocked that thought right out of my head.


He--It wasn't meant to be insulting, I just picked a round number. Go ahead and be bitter. I thought the amount we'd agreed on was fair. If you feel the need to drag this out over money, I can't stop you.


Me--You have been the one dragging this out, you can't seem to pick up your stuff though you've had nearly 3 months to take care of it. So you think $$ is fair? Well that would be just fine except your check was for a nice round number that is half of that. If you want to call me bitter because I have finally run out of patience that's fine. I would have no cause to be angry if you hadn't handled this in the same lazy slack-a-- , cheap way that you always do. The biggest favor you ever did for me was walking out my door. Don't get back to me with any more of your lame a-- excuses and justifications for your irresponsibility--just get it done.


He--I made a partial payment. Call me names if you want. I was told by someone who knows you well that you're just plain mean. That's why I left. I don't need to be subjected to that.


Me--That you made a partial payment is exactly what pissed me off. Would it have killed you for once to pay in full, on time. It wouldn't have but I guess the pretty pennies haven't screamed loud enough for you to let go of them yet. I may be mean, but hopefully someday it will sink into your head that when you don't handle things responsibly, people get pissed at you.( I then listed several recent incidents where people were angry because he hadn't taken care of things, saying those people must be mean also) There are just so many meanies out there who expect you to act like an adult, good thing you won't be subjected to that from me anymore.


Ha! A reason for the break-up finally! I'm mean! Yay! Yeah I get pretty mean when I'm taken advantage of , treated like crap and my last ounce of patience is gone! Darn skippy! The only people I can think of that know me well that would call me mean are my daughters! Can't you just hear it? My mommy is sooo mean, you should dump her. This is priceless! Even though they didn't say it I think the little darlings deserve some ice cream!

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That must have been such a relief, and how pathetic of him to first 'you make this about money blabla', while he paid only half. You are right and he knows so, good for you!


You go girl, cllllooooosure! (don't do the voicemail like Rachel did though).



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I've usually witnessed guys who have been short changed by their ex's. My buddy's ex girlfriend owes him more than 10000 dollars. I guess it goes both ways; i think thats why guys as well as girls should pay for their own and not depend on their significant other in the first place.

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pchellak--you are correct it does work both ways..I think it depends on the level of responsibility, and generosity of each partner--that can vary so much from person to person, male or female. Both should always protect their own interests, and their own hearts first and foremost. I think all of us, M or F on this board have learned that. Not to make it a man v woman thing but one observation I had about the whole experience is this have been irritated all my life at how women are not allowed anger. Even if we have a legitimate reason to be angry, we are mean, biotchy, possibly a lesbian, or having hormonal issues if we are just pissed off--because of a specific issue. In spite of what my ex had to say, I am not a mean person. I actually am a person with a very long fuse. I will tolerate, and tolerate some more, but when the fuse has burned away--head for cover! I am Irish and the explosion will be controlled but spectacular! I WILL be mean!! or even cruel, sarcastic, bitcccccy, but I will have a reason that has nothing to do with my gender. I also will be able to express it in a way that is articulate and clear, so it never need happen again. Just my 2 cents and yet another rant for the day--but what a carthartic day it's been!! Thanks all for listening---you RULE!!!

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