still in love

[moe42]

My Ex BF and i dated for a year and a half he is the guy i lost my verginity to he is the first guy i really ever did anything sexual with and i love him with all my heart. we broke up on June 10th (his doing not mine) but i had been thinking about it for a few weeks i just didnt say anything. the break upwas because he and i were fighting a lot and he is a VERY jealous person. i cried at first of course but then i thought it was a good idea and i started getting my life back because when we were dating i started loosing touch with my friends. the day before fathers day i met this guy his name is chris he seems really cool and at first i was really excited about going on a date with him but the more we hang out the more i think about my ex. i seem to be really apprehensive about doing things with him, even kissing him, for some really dumb reason i feel like im in a way cheating on my ex some how (dumb i know). i know i still love him and he says he still loves me and for some reason i cant stop thinking about him. i dont know what to do. i know that im using chris to try and get over my ex and i feel bad but he is doing the same thing. i need advice i dont know what is wrong with me. i feel like im being a baby and dumb about the whole thing. please help

[PB]

Why exactly did he break up with you?

 

You said that he is VERY jealous. Did you give him reasons to not trust you? Or does he just conjure up things to worry about?

 

At this point, what would you say is preventing you from getting back together? You say that each of you still love each other. Does he tell you that he loves you but that he doesn't want a relationship with you?

 

Is he seeing anyone new? Does he know about Chris?

 

There are 2 schools of thought on getting involved with a new person on the heels of an old relationship.

 

One is that these "transitional" relationships, while maybe not as satifying as a previous relationship, help you to grow and learn more about yourself. You may find things about Chris that you want in a relationship--if not with him, then someone else. This new relationship can cause you divert your attention away from your ex and move on.

 

The second school of thought is that these "rebound" relationships prevent you from dealing with whatever issues you might need to work through before having a healthy relationship. Some would say it's unfair to Chris for you to offer him less than the best you have to bring to a relationship (because you are still reserving portions of your heart for your ex).

 

I guess you'll have to decide what is best for you.