From_Now_On Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 This isn't poetry This is no story Nothing beautiful Nothing flattering This is me Stripped raw and bare So many feelings blind me I want to be jaded I don't want to care I hurt, it hurts to feel I'm tired of feeling Tired of dealing Tired of being, me I just want to bleed I close my eyes and pretend I'm okay Pray I fall asleep and just fade away Living is dying painfully slow There's gotta be an easier way to go My thoughts are running Do they make any sense? Flowing out from my fingertips I try to shed the pretense, of my being I'm trying I'm dying I'm bleeding Out loud But it's still so quiet I'm stuck inside myself And can't get out I'm SCREAMING Can you hear it? Screaming TAKE ME AWAY I'm sick of whispered phony-fake confessions And promises to stay JUST LEAVE I'm sick of my tendencies of hoping for the best When I know life will slap me in the face with some horrible mess Faking smiles is getting too easy And too hard All at once It's always just different enough to hurt But it's always the same Never fun But always a game Everyone else looks so much stronger And I'm trying to be just like they all are They seem to hold out so much longer And I feel I have no excuse to fall apart But I can't help it I feel too much It doesn't have to reach at all For me to feel it's touch Pain Just a whisper can tear through my body and rip me down to a shred Til' I close my eyes and dream of laying on the cold floor With a blank stare Dead Oh, not to FEEL I just want it all to stop When your own skin makes your skin crawl You're in an awful spot Glancing over my shoulder Nervous to be caught as I commit suicide on paper Dreaming to scream out loud "I HATE HER" Referring to myself I'm done now And I'm sorry Find your eyes a prettier place to rest This wasn't poetry And I didn't try my best It was nothing more than another pathetic, overly-dramatic, cry for help When really I should just shut up and kill myself Link to comment
GettingOverIt Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 I know I have said this before, but you truly do have a gift, a way with words and expressing your deepest feelings and emotions through your poetry and lyrics... Particular to this poem (anti-poem?), these lines hit me the hardest: I want to be jaded I don't want to care (We don't WANT to care, but we do care nonetheless... Sometimes wishing we could hate the ones we love so /blankety-blank/ much!) I'm tired of feeling Tired of dealing Tired of being, me ~sigh~ Tired of being.....me..... I know EXACTLY how ya feel... Especially when you're not even sure who 'ME' is sometimes... blah! Living is dying painfully slow (YES!) I'm stuck inside myself And can't get out (Stuck... Just as far in as you are out, not making any progress no matter which way you run... Yeap, I know that one, too... Well, I know you know that....) When your own skin makes your skin crawl You're in an awful spot (This has got to be one of the most profound lines I have read in a long, long time... Excellent!) Find your eyes a prettier place to rest ('Pretty' is in the eyes which look upon the words written on the page, and the emotions evoked by those words... When something moves someone so deeply, it is pretty, no matter what it looks like!!!!!!!) TCOY, Kiddo... (I PM'd ya) Link to comment
From_Now_On Posted July 1, 2005 Author Share Posted July 1, 2005 Gettingoverit: Thanks. And I know you hear me loud and clear on much of this. I always appreciate your responses. Very much so. So, as always, thanks for taking the time to read, and respond. t/c of u & urs as well (I PM'd ya back -FNO Link to comment
shorty20 Posted July 1, 2005 Share Posted July 1, 2005 from now on.... have you ever tried to get any of the published??? I always love reading your stuff.... it's so great, and you have so much talent... as always, I absoutly loved this one.... it was deep, and a little darker than the others, but in a way I liked it..... great job.. i always look forward to reading your stuff.... Link to comment
From_Now_On Posted July 5, 2005 Author Share Posted July 5, 2005 from now on.... have you ever tried to get any of the published??? I always love reading your stuff.... it's so great, and you have so much talent... as always, I absoutly loved this one.... it was deep, and a little darker than the others, but in a way I liked it..... great job.. i always look forward to reading your stuff.... Thanks a lot. I really appreciate your comment/compliment. And no, I have never tried to get any of my work published. I'm really glad you liked it though, and yes, it did lean on the darker side this time around. Some of my stuff can be really dark at times. Anyway, thanks again. -FNO Link to comment
ForAnother Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Know what? I didn't like it... utnill the last two stanzas. They blew me away. Wow... is all I have to say. I love the last like 4 lines... just fantastic. I love the idea, and I love how it seems like "depressed poetic babble"... but then you take it at the end and you say that it was that, and you push it to a new limit... which I just love. Keep it up. ForAnother Link to comment
From_Now_On Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 ForAnother, Thanks for your honest opinion. You tend to be more of a critic, which I know I need every now and then....and I know it means that your praises are not just fluff because you'll tell me when you think something's crap. I mean, don't get me wrong, obviously I'd love for you (and everyone) to have liked all of it...but this is reality and I'd rather someone gave me their honest opinion than a whole bunch of fluff they didn't mean. But also I know people read and take in poetry different so it can end up being like the whole, "One man's trash is another man's treasure" depending on the various experiences in life or whatever else. Anyway, that was a lot of perhaps pointless ramble to just say: Thanks for voicing your honest views on this, (and all other), poems/pieces. -FNO Link to comment
Recommended Posts