Odd situation, that has potential for something more!!?!!

[katiekate1982]

Hello Everyone!!

 

Its been a long time since i've been here. Well I hope everyone has been doing okay!! I met a guy who seems great, good looking, intelligent, hard working, and into sports. Him and I both like eack other and are trying to get to know each other better. We work together, I just started working with him, and that does make it a little difficult.

 

He seems like a GOOD guy, but he does seem guarded with his feelings as am I. He has been hurt in the past, as have I. We want to take things slow, but both of us are nervous and unsure of what will happen, we both like each other alot and there is a chemistry, but we don't know exactly what are next move should be with the relationship thing. We aren't labeled as "boyfriend, girlfriend" yet.

 

I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to take things slow, and how to start off a relationship, well start off a GOOD relationship? We are messing around and do hang out and enjoy each others company. I don't want to mess this up, well the potential of "US". How should I approach him in a non confronting way, but so he understands more of my feelings for him??

 

Any advice is greatly appreciated!! Thank you all!!

[reflectionlessmirror]

I have a feeling that alsot of people may disagree with me, but my own personal advice would be to refrain from having sex to early in the relationship. Sex really does change things, reguardless of your status as "Friends" or "B-friend/g-friend". You may not agree, but that is waht i recommmend.

[katiekate1982]

Thank you for your response. We are having sex, it started by accident one night and has happened a couple more times since then. It seems like i'm the aggressor with that, but i'm sure he doesn't mind. Although he has told me, he would just love to lay and cuddle with me and I do feel the same. We both have feelings for each other and I don't believe it is just because of the sex issue.

[reflectionlessmirror]

Then what is stopping you from you from having a talk regarding the relationship status?

[katiekate1982]

I guess i'm old-fashioned in a way. I want him to court me. At the same time I want him, and of course having sex with him is nice. I hope I haven't ruined anything by sleeping with him. It is already too late for my feelings i've already fallen for him pretty hard. How do I know if he feels the same way, without asking him? I will, but what signs should I look for?

[reflectionlessmirror]

Well you said he is spending time with you. Good. Is he seeing anyone else? Does HE call YOU or do you do most of the calling? Has he mentioned anything about wanting or not wanting a relationship?

[katiekate1982]

We have spent time together, although he says he is a busy guy, but the way I think, if you want something you will make time. Actually I do most of the calling. He did tell me he isn't sure if he wants a relationship. I think he is afraid of getting hurt, but at the same time I cannot put my own feelings on the line for him right now. He has mentioned that he is the type of person who like to just let things happen and not rush them. Should I just try not to contact him, be nice to him at work (keep it simple), and let things work themselves out? He knows how I feel about him. I don't want to keep chasing him, he can start to chase me!! I don't want to play games, i'm too good for that!! Thanks for listening.