We Are Falling Apart...

[Luv_4_Life]

My g/f and I have been together for almost 6 months now and it seems like we are falling apart Our relationship has been shaky from day one but we some how managed to work things out. It seems like we like every other day and I do not like arguing. It seem like she only focus on the negative things vs. positive. I think I am doing all that I can to make her happy but it seem like it is just not good enough. I do not think I could take much more.

 

Everytime I think that everything is going smooth, she manage to find something to complain about. We both have thing's that we have to work on and I am trying to do so but it is hard for me to work on eveything at once. When I think I am getting better with one thing, here she comes with another. She is starting to push me away. I love her but I do not think I could do this anymore.

[Gunther]

Well, this is not very spacific, could you provide a few more details? What type of things does she complain about. You said "We both have things to work on" What things do you have to work on, and what things does she need to work on? If you two are fighting all the time then there is obviously something wrong. Generaly people don't just complain for no reason, but you were very vauge with what the arguments were about.

[Luv_4_Life]

It seems like she complains about eveything but here are some of the things that she complains about regularly. I work 7 until 4:30 Mon-Fri, I wake up around 4:30-5:00 which means, I try to go to sleep at least by 11:30. It seems like she gets mad at me because I am always sleepy. When I get off of work I usually go in and take a nap or something and then I am preparing myself for work the the following day. I do not like to do much during the work week and it seems like she do not understand that. She basically have the type of job where she do not have to wake up that time of morning. She sets her own schedule. Here lately she have been asking me to go with her to the club which is on Wednesday's and the club lets out around 3:00 AM and mind you I have to get up at 4:30. On top of that I am not a club person. She said that I do not like to to anything.

 

Everytime that she and I are together she wants to have sex, sometimes I do not be in the mood for it and it seems as if she do noyt understand that either. She gets an attitude with me. Sometimes I do it anyway because I am afraid that she will go somewhere else to get it.

[dreamadonna1]

Gosh, from what you described in your first post, I almost feel like you are describing me. My poor partner must feel the same way about me. We've been together five years, though. So I guess for us it's like you said, things have been shaky for a long while but somehow we've managed to stay together. Goodness, you'd be amazed how long two unhappy people can stay together "making it work." It's crazy, though. I think that you and your girl may need to have a serious heart-to-heart before you've wasted/invested any more time in your relationship. It sounds like you have some very real differences, and maybe just aren't right for each other. I suspect you may even know this already but may be having a hard time accepting this. For me, it's getting to be harder and harder to not deal with the fact that I don't feel as in love as I once was. I always said we were soulmates, and we both loved the fact that we were such opposites. We both had similar upbringing and some significant similarities in our lives that pulled us together, but yet were still so different as people. And we thought it was great, but now I think that a lot of those differences, the different outlooks and beliefs, are causing us grief right now. We just about each day too it seems, but honestly, we've been doing that for the last four years of actually living together. Now we have our own home, and I feel like I can't escape for fear of losing the comfort of the relationship and ultimately her friendship.

 

Be careful. Take a serious look at where the two of you are right now and where you want to be. Maybe you'll find that you don't really compliment each other as well as you'd hoped, but if you can stay friends, that could be something you both will need.

[Luv_4_Life]

Thanks a lot for the feedback dreamadonna1. I totally agree with all that was said. It seem like everytime she and I talk and I recommend that she and I should just be friends, she say to me that she want to be with me. She feels that I am trying to take the easy way out or that I am giving up on "us". It is not that I am giving up on us but I feel like if we end it now, we could remain friends vs. breaking up on bitter terms and out the window goes the relationship and the friendship.

 

You are dealing with a lot yourself and I wish you the best of luck with your situation and I hope that you and your partner can somehow find happiness again. 5 years is a long time, to others it may not but to me it is. At the same time you both deserve to be happy.