What to say to friends about bad ex

[Celadon]

You know, one of the trickier parts of breaking up, for me, has been talking with mutual friends about the ex. Especially since the situation was that I gave a lot and he took a lot, and then he dumped me. (That's the short version, lol.)

 

There's a part of you that wants to just tell the whole world about awful things he did. But that's not cool, right? And no one wants to hear it. At the same time, it really bothers me when people think he's such a great guy.

 

What to do? I was just thinking about this tonight. The best thing is to talk about the relationship from your point of view. "I tried my hardest." "I really loved him" or even "I felt really lonely while dating him" and "I felt like I wanted more from him than he was giving." That way, people don't label you as "bitter" when you're just telling the truth. And hopefully, you are able to start coming to grips with how things really were.

 

Just a random thought, in case it helps anyone. Thanks for listening.

[whatdoyado]

Talking about how you feel is good, a good thing that really should be done. This guy totally used me as an "experiment" and yeah, it sucked, but I was able to talk about it and then I finally got the chance to confront him on it. I told him that I forgave him, and that I chose to look past it and we could just stick to being friends. He doesn't even look at me now or even talk to me. I wish sometimes that he would regret what he did to me, but it's not like that for me, I wish me and him really could be friends, but he decided not to. That's his choice.

 

Talking about what he did to me helped me and confronting him helped me as well. Telling the world he was a jerk wouldn't be the nicest thing to do, but preventing him to do it again by confronting him hopefully will help.

[fate or freewill]

My ex was the same way, nothing ever good enough, couldn't ever do enough and if you voiced any concerns it was always my fault.

 

It's hard talking to my friends and family that only saw the social side of her which was always pleasant and happy, I usually just say stuff like "I tried my best" or "we gave it a good shot, again."

 

I think the reality of the situation is that some people are just really needy, manipulative and controlling and generally not nice to be around.

 

When you honestly see some people for who they are it can be sad.

 

I think our job is to learn what we can from the relationships we are in and to not let the incidence from the past reflect badly on how we treat others or talk about others in the future.