Needing advice.......

[macomb7]

well me and my now ex girlfriend dated for a little over a year. everything was great until a few months ago her and another guy kissed. We worked that out, and decided to stay together. the problem with the situation is her best friend has a mad crush on the same kid that kissed her. everytime she hangs out with her, he is around. that makes me feel uncomfortable. and a few days ago her friend asked if me and her wanted to go to cedar point with them two. now, i have no respect for the kid because he knew that she had a boyfriend. so i just try to avoid any situation of being around him. she wants to go to cedar point with them and stay in the same room. after a few days of thinkin about it i decided to swallow my pride and say yes to going. but even though i said yes i couldnt help thinking, why would she put me in that situation? lately a few problems have happened in my life that have me completely stressed out. her being one of them. every little thing i do she has a really rude comment. it seems when we are around a big group of people she tries her hardes to make me look stupid. that has got me on edge. her ex boyfriend calls her everyday. she doesnt answer when i'm around but has admitted to answering when i'm not there. there is another matter that is kinda personal that i wont get into that has got me 100% stressed out. those 3 things have me on edge, and thursday night i just reached my boiling point. during this whole relationship i have put up with more than i should have to. my friends tell me i deserve better, and her friends tell me that she'd be stupid to be acting like this, and she'd be sorry if she ever lost me.

 

now when we got in the fight, she turned everything on me. saying this is how she is and I have to deal with it, and she's not changing for anyone, especially me.

 

i need advice. why am I the one who feels like i did something wrong... when i know in my head i didnt? this is driving me crazy

[mysteryman]

I understand Ive run into the same problems unfortunately. You can try to work it out and tell her how you feel. Not an argument or fight just a talk. If she turns it all on you, defend yourself and make your point just not in a bad fashion. A philosopher once said "Once a point is exagerated so far it has no meaning." I know you dont wana hear this but if I were you I'd prepare for the worst and thats breaking up. She sounds like shes not appreciating you and all the tension may come down to where your gona haftoo break up. On another note if her friends are saying that maybe you should go for 1 of them? Also another note if you wana stay with her try the talk but also try to spark up the relationship. Girls love flowers give her some of those out of the blue. Its never failed for me. But good luck. And have fun at Cedar Point, its a great amusement park, Ive had the pleasure of going there several times. And you had better bring a change of clothes if you ride the top thrill dragster.

 

Mysteryman

[whatdoyado]

Wow this sounds familiar. Listen to your heart is the best advice I can give you. She sounds pretty pathetic if she puts you down in front of others, it sounds like its a performance for her ex, and most likely it is. I think you should take sometime for yourself, if your so stressed out do something fun for yourself. Then, secondly, I would talk to your gf; communication is the key and no offense, but I think you should be telling her this stuff. I think she has the right to know and maybe you can find out why she is acting like this.

[macomb7]

that is just the problem. i have tried talking to her about this in a mature way but she just turns it on me. so i am at a point where i dont know what to do anymore.

[whatdoyado]

Look you probably still want to stay with her, but if you've talked to her and she hasn't gotten the hints then I say take sometime off between you and her. Maybe that'll lead you to another relationship with someone who will respect you. She probably has something deeper inside that she has been contemplating and she might be the one who internalizes her problems and situations and problem lacks in the communication.

[macomb7]

i couldnt have said any better if i tried. thats was the perfect response, because thats exactly what her problem is.

[macomb7]

hey. i went through a similar situation. a guy kissed my girlfriend, and i found out about it by reading her journal. then when i confronted her she lied right to my face about it. in our relationship trust was broken on both levels by her lying to me, and me reading her journal. we separated for a few weeks and now we are trying to work it out. it is gonna take time for me to completely trust her, and i'm sure the same for her. we are working on it. i cannot be in a relationship with no trust. if you feel you can get over this and maybe start to trust her, then its up to you if it is worth it, because its not gonna be easy. good luck i wish ya the best