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As some of you may recall, I was with my boyfriend for 10 years, and we broke up a little less than 2 months ago due to his cheating and lying. Since then, I have had some contact with him because he still owes me money.


He has always been the one who needed money for whatever, and during the relationship, I usually *gave* it to him with no expectation of being paid back. It was only toward the end that I made him a couple of loans, and he understood that they were loans, and I was to be paid back.


Anyway, I had to pay my credit card bill today, and I was already a bit upset because the bulk of the charges were his. I wasn't going to say anything to him about it, but then he left a few text and voice messages telling me still he loves me, etc., etc. I texted him back and told him that I needed at least *some* of the money he owes me by tomorrow (he gets paid tomorrow). At that point, he got extremely mad.


He basically told me that the reason he cheated on me was because other women were willing to help him financially with no strings attached. He doesn't have to pay *them* back. He said if I ever loved him that I would have been trying to help him with his struggle instead of adding to it by *loaning* him money that had to be paid back. He said he'd pay me what he owes, and then he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore.


Um...so? I broke up with him. I haven't been trying to get back with him - I just want the money he owes me. He's the one who's been calling me trying to get back together.


The thing is, this really did hurt me because I have *always* been there for him financially, and it makes me feel like he was using me the whole time for what I could do for him. He's never given, nor lent, me a dime. NEVER. And I've never asked him to. To top it off, he makes it sound like I should have *wanted* to throw money at his feet (like the other women) to vie for his affection. UGH!!!


If he equates how much you love someone to how much money you give them, using his logic, he must have NEVER loved me.


See, it's things like this that make me wish I would have kept up the no contact thing. I mean, it makes me feel better knowing I'm rid of this parasite, but it also makes me feel incredibly stupid that I never saw this side of him until now.


I guess what hurts the most is that I really wasn't over him, and by talking to him, no matter what the reason, I left the door open for him to make me feel like dirt all over again.

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You know I was just thinking about this today. I am in the same situation as you. When my ex and I were together- the entire 5 years he didn't work at all. He thought that since I made so much money that he didn't have to contribute to anything. I never had one dinner bought for me, not even my own birthday presents-- he would take my debit card and buy whatever he wanted... or take cash from my purse.


I bought a condo at the beginning of the end of our relationship and put furniture and everything in it.. made a house a home with everything one needs. When I decided that it was over I told him that I was moving out and that since the condo was paid for that I would let him live there as long as he paid me every month like rent and gave me some extra on top of it for all of the furniture.


Let me tell you that he's not paid me in 6 months, and on top of it today I called him to tell him that I was selling it because he hasn't paid me and he said the same thing that yours said "I cheated on you because SHE would give me whatever I wanted and never expected me to pay HER back"..... I astounds me to this day that I full heartly loved him and gave him everything anyone would ever want... or so I thought. I never asked him once in our relationship to pay me back.. only when we broke up.


SO let that be a lesson to us. I would say to you then to take his money and don't talk to him anymore... It'll be easier that way.

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wow - sounds a lot like my ex - he still calls me and sucks up when he wants money and stuff and then when he gets paid he acts all mad at me like he never wants to talk to me again - you know - chances are - you aren't gonna get money from him - so take what you have and stay away from him and keep no contact - otherwise he will keep milking you for more stuff - don't give in - be strong. I should really take this advice for myself cuz I'm too weak and i always give in. Lets be strong together - pm me if you wanna chat about it.

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